


When You're Smiling (and Astride Me)

by Styyyylinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Heartache, Hipster Harry, Indie Music, M/M, White Eskimo, but it's good, fake!boyfriends, its worth it, lgbtqia, louis is a writer, who doesn't love a fake relationship AU!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-04-25 14:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4963423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Styyyylinson/pseuds/Styyyylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Can I....help you?" Harry asks, standing to help the man off the floor, his hand outstretched.</i>
</p><p>  <i>A clammy hand is placed in Harry's and he pulls the man up, surprised at how easy it is. The brunette brushes the dust off of his black skinny jeans and adjusts his button up, finally glancing up to meet Harry's gaze.</i></p><p>  <i>The pair are silent for a moment, Harry captivated by the azure eyes that are staring back at him. Their hands are still clasped together when the other man finally breaks the silence.</i></p><p>  <i>"I'm sorry I'm late." He stutters. "I'm Louis." He says, without any further explanation.</i></p><p>Harry, Niall, and Zayn are in an up and coming indie band, White Eskimo. Liam is Harry's best friend. Louis is a writer who only signed on for an interview, but ends up getting much more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, dark/chill/demon Larries! 
> 
> Before we get into it, I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by and giving this fic a chance! It's been in the works in my brain for a while, but I only just started to write it. Special thanks to hazzasowl, who even after one night has endured countless walls of text asking if things made sense and flowed nicely.
> 
> When it comes to this little gem itself, I'm going to post a chapter every Friday, unless something catastrophic happens in my life. I've already written a few chapters, so if anything does happen, I have an arsenal of fluff and love to share with you. I think this fic will be rated explicit in the long run, but that won't happen until later chapters - so I'll change that when necessary. 
> 
> I love Fake!Boyfriend AU's more than anything else, and I think that's why you're probably here. I'm going to make it amazing for you, and if you have feedback please let me know! :) Happy reading, Larries!
> 
> PS None of these characters belong to me, nor do their (fake) personalities. The title of this work is from a Father John Misty song. Check him out.

White Eskimo had never expected to be as big as they became. They went from winning battle of the bands, to being invited to small venues, to headlining their own tours. The boys were all grateful for everything they had been given, though they realized they also missed out on a lot in life, mostly a sense of normalcy.  
  
Harry, Niall, and Zayn took a bow at the end of their set, the three of them in a row at the edge of the stage. Harry's favorite part of performing was always the fans, and he was glad that after so long, they still had so many. Harry brings a hand to his mouth, kisses it, and blows it back out in the crowd. The fans go wild and all of the boys wave as they exit the stage.  
  
"Aye wild night, mates! What a great show!" Niall exclaims, clapping Harry on the back and bringing him in for a side hug.  
  
"Anyone fancy a bit of FIFA on the bus?" He asks, getting a murmur of agreement from both of his friends.  
  
The guys head outside to the tour bus, talking about their favorite parts of the tour, when Harry's phone starts to ring. The familiar classical tune floats up into the night sky, along with Harry's eyes. He stares up at the night sky for a moment, before being brought back to reality. Niall and Zayn tell Harry they'll meet him inside when he answers the phone. Harry responds with a nod as he swipes to greet the caller on the other end.  
  
"Heya mate, what's up?" He asks, wondering if there's something wrong with one of his closest friends.  
  
Liam's voice is chipper and upbeat on the other end of the line, his attitude bringing a smile to Harry's face. "Harry! How's the tour been?"  
  
"Just wrapping up in London, you know? I was going to see if you'd be around here or Holmes Chapel anytime soon. We'll be on a break for a bit, and the lads and I miss you."  
  
Harry and Liam had been friends since they were young, living two doors down from one another was a blessing for the both of them - especially when things got rough in year eleven. Harry had been bullied for his song writing and the questions about his sexuality, forcing him even deeper into the closet. Liam had always acted as his protector, and still did to this day.  
  
"I actually moved to the city a few months back, so I'll be around a lot..." Liam trails off, letting out a sigh.  
  
"What is it Li?" Harry asks, walking toward the fence and picking a rogue daisy out form amongst the weeds.  
  
"I hate doing this, but can I ask for a favor?"  
  
Harry brings the flower to his nose before sticking it behind his ear. "Yeah anything. Everything ok?"  
  
"Oh yeah everything is proper swell. I have this friend, Louis. He's an author but has a side gig doing interview pieces for Q&L Magazine. He was talking about interviewing some up and coming bands, and I thought you might be interested. I know you guys have basically made it, but I just thought...you know, maybe you'd want to..."  
  
"Slow down, Liam." Harry interrupts with a chuckle, running a hand through his hair. He knows he should check with PR team before agreeing to do an unscripted interview, but right now he doesn't really give a shit about their PR team. "I'd love to."  
  
After Liam spends a few minutes thanking Harry profusely, they manage to switch topics. They catch up about one another's families and make promises to see each other over the upcoming weekend. Harry tells Liam to pass on his info to Louis so they can set something up.  
  
Opening the door to the tour bus, Harry is met with screams from Niall and Zayn as they rapidly push buttons on the Xbox controllers.  
  
"Fuck that, man! That was mine!" Niall yells, glancing up at Harry when he walks in.  
  
"Nice flower, H." Zayn comments as the game ends. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and tells Harry to strike a pose with him for a selfie. Harry pulls a face as Zayn snaps the picture. Only a few seconds later is there a notification on his phone.

  
Harry chuckles and sends a reply tweet, even though they're both in the same room.  
  
  
The rest of the night is spent pouring over FIFA and making bets on who can win more games before they all pass out. Zayn and Niall wander off to their bunks at half past two, leaving Harry awake and staring down at his phone, not feeling sleepy at all. He's just about to put in one of his favorite movies, Love Actually, when his phone starts to glow, and he realizes people are tweeting at him.

  
  
  
Harry scrolls through the mentions on Twitter and decides to tweet back at some of the fans. He's bored and wide awake as he types back responses to some of them.

  
After that, the mentions start flooding in. Harry turns the sound off on his phone. The lyrics for the new song are very personal to him, and as a matter of fact he wrote the song himself. Harry had been dating a guy from the states for almost a year, but their relationship came to a stop about six months ago. Harry found out that the guy was only using him for money, as he was planning on selling Harry's sexuality to the highest bidder. Luckily the PR team bought him out before he was able to cause any damage to anything else but Harry's heart.  
  
\---  
  
_"Babe, I'm thinking about coming out...you know, publicly." Harry blurts out over dinner with Nick one evening. His eyes are glued on the plate in front of him, most of his meal had gone untouched. Harry's nerves were getting the best of him._  
  
_Nick scoots himself a bit closer to Harry, their elbows nearly touching. "I'm proud of you. That's a big step." He moves his hand to squeeze Harry's shoulder._  
  
_Harry glances up, venturing a small smile before leaning over and planting a kiss on the corner of Nick's mouth. He pulls back, his smile growing as he looks at the man that's changed his life in so many ways. Harry was happier than he'd ever been, even Niall and Zayn had mentioned the change they saw in him. Harry was sure that Liam had heard quite enough about how great Nick was, along with anyone else that knew Harry's secret._  
  
_"I'm going to call the team right now, actually. This is important." Harry pulls out his phone and scrolls down to Damian's number as Nick nervously taps his foot on the linoleum floor._  
  
_"Harry, glad you called." Damian's voice is cold and sharp, much different than usual._  
  
_"Yeah, I have a -" he starts, but Damian cuts him off._  
  
_"You with Nick?" He asks, causing Harry to look over at his boyfriend who's smiling next to him._  
  
_"Yeah of course, why?"_  
  
_"Harry I need to speak to you in private."_  
  
_Harry's brows draw together as he looks back down at his plate, fiddling idly with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Anything you say to me, I can hear in front of Nick." Harry's voice now mirrors Damian's, the chill evident as he speaks to the man who used to be his favorite on the PR team._  
  
_"Harry, I don't think -"_  
  
_This time it's Harry who cuts him off. "What is it, Damian. Just fucking tell me." He spits._  
  
_"You can't stay with Nick." He pauses, waiting for Harry's reaction that doesn't come. "He's...Harry he's using you."_  
  
_A scowl comes across Harry's face as he listens to Damian explain that they have a reliable source of information. Damian tells Harry that Nick has been offering 'secret information' about indie artist Harry Styles to whomever will pay him the most. Harry raises his voice to Damian, asking how he can believe such bullshit._  
  
_"I'll send you what I have, Harry. I'm really sorry, I am."_  
  
_"Fuck that Damian, I finally have someone that's worth risking coming out for, and you just have to shit all over it. I thought you were better than that." Harry ends the call without another word, his head in his hands._  
  
_"What was that about?" Nick asks cautiously, his voice soft as if he's worried about Harry exploding._  
  
_Before Harry has the chance to answer, an email from Damian comes in. Harry opens it and attached are a series of emails, phone logs, and text messages. All of which support what Damian has told Harry. His mind goes blank as he reads the emails, images of Harry and Nick attached and promises of money being exchanged. Harry feels his chest tighten, as if someone has his heart in a vice and is choking the life out of him._  
  
_"What the hell is this?" Harry asks, pushing the phone in Nicks direction, the color draining from his face as he looks down._  
  
_"Harry, I..." He starts, but can't find the words._  
  
_"You've been lying all this time, but you can't come up with something on the spot?" Harry scoffs, grabbing his phone back and pushing his chair away from the table._  
  
_"I can't believe this" Harry says, tears springing up in the corners of his eyes. "How is this happening?" He asks to no one in particular, taking a velvet box out of his pocket. He was planning on proposing to Nick that night. He wanted it to be perfect. He made dinner, was going to tell Damian, and had Zayn and Niall sitting at a gazebo a few blocks away, where he was planning on bringing Nick to ask the official question._  
  
_"You can sell that. Might as well make as much money as you can off of me." He said quietly, hot tears streaming down his face. Harry can hear Nick's words of protest somewhere in the back of his mind, but he slams the front door to his apartment before he has the chance to say anything else._  
  
_Keys in hand, Harry unlocks the door to the rental car, shoving the keys into the ignition as Nick runs after him, shouting something inaudible. Turning up the music, Harry screeches out of the parking lot, heading down the street to find his friends._  
  
_Niall and Zayn are shouting congratulatory words as Harry walks up to the gazebo, stopping short when they don't see Nick with him. They exchange a look with one another upon seeing Harry's tear soaked face._  
  
_"Harry wha'appened? What did he say?" Niall asks as Harry trudges up the steps, his mind racing._  
  
_"Nothing happened." His voice is low as his body is racked with a fresh set of sobs. Niall takes Harry into his arms, Zayn following suit. The three of them stand in the candle lit gazebo until Harry's breathing slows and he's able to recount the worst night of his life._  
  
\---  
  
That event had changed Harry's life in every way possible. He, Niall, and Zayn became closer than they ever were before. The boys were comfortable with one another, but the sharing of such an event created something else entirely. They spent the rest of their time in LA together, Liam flying in to be a support to Harry as well. The four of them were thick as thieves until White Eskimo went on tour, and Liam went back to work in the UK.  
  
Harry stood there now, staring down at his phone and the lyrics he had written for a lost love. He wanted to find love again, a real love, but he was much too guarded for that now. Everyone that he was remotely interested in had something to hide, he was sure of it. Being extra closeted didn't seem to help his case much either.  
  
With a sigh, Harry silenced his phone from any other notifications and tiptoed back to his bunk. Niall's familiar snores echoed throughout the small space, the comforting sound lulling Harry into what he hoped would be a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”_  
>  \- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! I hope this chapter is up to snuff and that you enjoy it. As always, comment if you want, or inbox me at [styyyylinson](http://styyyylinson.tumblr.com/) on tumblr

Zayn wakes up before anyone else that morning, opening his phone to a mess of voicemails and texts about the new album and what the songs are going to sound like. Brows drawn together, Zayn responds to what he can, but keeps the majority of the album under wraps. After all, it was in the works and nothing was certain about the release date or track list. Hell, they weren’t even done writing yet.

Scrolling through the rest of his texts, Zayn finds a message from a number that he's unfamiliar with. He opens it and sees the following text:

_Hey Zayn, it's Liam. Harry gave me your number a while back but I hadn't used it. I spoke with him last night and he seemed pretty down. Everything ok?_

Zayn takes a minute to text back, glancing back at the silent bunks and hoping everything is ok with his friend.

**Z:** _**Y** eah man, all is well I think. H is still asleep but I'll keep an eye out._

**L:** _Thanks, see you this weekend, eh? Ending with the Manchester then Cheshire show?_

**Z:** _Yeah! Feels like I haven't seen you in ages. Can't wait!_

Zayn sends the text with a small smile on his face, looking forward to seeing Liam under better circumstances than the last time.

The day for the boys is filled with messing around at the recording studio. They have a number of songs they've all worked on, ideas melding together in order to create the authentic sound that defines White Eskimo. Niall, Zayn, and Harry all bring different gifts to the table, and they fit with one another perfectly.

The songs that Harry has written are mostly somber, save for a tune he named "Two AM Dreams" which seems to be about friendships and holding on to what you know is real. He sings the song near perfectly in the first take, his scruffy voice creating an even deeper sound over the mikes.

"Haz that was kick arse!" Niall shouts, leaning back in his chair as he strums a few chords on the guitar. Niall loves singing, but prefers Harry's voice to his own most days.

After recording, the guys meet with their team to discuss the private show for tonight and the next few across Manchester and Cheshire. They are reminded to be appropriate at all times and not release too much information about what they’ve been working on.

"We want to keep things exciting, you know? Do a few press things here and there, but give them a surprise for the album." Damian says, eyeing Harry carefully. He and Harry have been on decent terms since last years incident. Harry keeps to himself and hasn't tried dating since Nick.

"Speaking of which" Harry pipes up, noticing how nervous Damian looks. The two other boys look at Harry with a sense of surprise, Niall crunching loudly on some crisps.

"I uh, I kind of agreed to do an interview for a small music magazine. Some indie piece for a friend. Is that cool?" He asks, arching a brow at Damian.

He clears his throat and reminds Harry to stick to music, and nothing else. "I'm only looking out for your best interests, as usual." He reminds Harry.

"Course. Just doing a favor for a mate. Not like I'll go all sobby and tell him how I almost proposed to a fucking fake twat."

The silence in the room is nearly deafening until Harry's phone rings, bringing them all out of a stunned trance. Harry steps away to answer it as the rest of the group talk in hushed whispers about what he just said.

"Hello?" Harry asks, not recognizing the phone number on the screen.

"Yeh, this Harry?" The heavily accented voice asks, speaking quickly.

"Ah, might be. Who's this?" Harry says carefully, hoping that no one from the media got his number.

The voice on the other line cuts out for a moment. "Oh for fucks..." The voice stops, realizing he's still on the line and hasn't been disconnected. Harry stifles back a chuckle. "Sorry bout that, this is Louis calling from Q&L Magazine. Louis Tomlinson." He clarifies.

Harry racks his brain to place the name, before snapping his fingers. "You wrote To Be Alone With You!" Harry shouts, gaining attention from the lads and Damian. He lowers his voice before stepping an empty recording booth. "I mean yeah, hi. How'd you get this number?"

"Liam told me you were interested in an interview..." Louis trails off, wondering why Harry has read one of his books.

Coming to a realization at that point, Harry chuckles to himself. "Sorry yeah, I didn't know you were the same Louis....but it makes sense, Liam said you were an author."

Louis smiles as he speaks. "Yeah one in the same! Listen, I was wondering if we would be able to meet sometime this week. I normally wouldn't ask so soon, but my deadline is -"

"This week is great, Mr. Tomlinson." Harry interrupts, fiddling with the buttons on the soundboard in front of him.

He hears a sigh of relief on the other end. "Please call me Louis. Liam said you'd be in Manchester and round these parts for a show. You think I could tag along with him and do the interview before or after?" He asks, hoping it's convenient for Harry.

"Yeah no problem, I'll make sure you're on the list with Liam. Before the show would probably be best, that way you can get to know the music a bit before you see it."

Louis agrees and they make plans to meet backstage at The Ruby Lounge, a small music venue in Manchester. It was one of the first places White Eskimo played outside of Cheshire, and they make it a point to play there when on tour, even though it's a tiny place. Harry makes the arrangements for Louis and Liam to get put on the list, nearly forgetting about the interview until Liam sends a text the day of to let him know he's on the way.

\---

Harry's waiting backstage in a tacky velvet walled room when the door opens and a skinny brunette guy nearly falls into his lap, disheveled and clearly upset about something.

"Can I....help you?" Harry asks, standing to help the man off the floor, his hand outstretched.

A clammy hand is placed in Harry's and he pulls the man up, surprised at how easy it is. The brunette brushes the dust off of his black skinny jeans and adjusts the collar of his button up, which Harry notices hides a scripted tattoo. The man finally glances up to meet Harry's gaze.

The pair are silent for a moment, Harry captivated by the azure eyes that are staring back at him. Their hands are still clasped together when the other man finally breaks the silence.

"I'm sorry I'm late." He stutters. "I'm Louis." He says, without any further explanation.

Harry tears his eyes away from the man's deep blue stare and nods his head, gesturing for him to sit down. "Of course, yeah. I'm excited." He offers stupidly, not expecting for Louis to be so young and handsome. Normally Harry would have made a joke about Louis name being 'Late' but he was having trouble focusing for some reason.

Louis runs a hand through his messy hair, and Harry finally gets an opportunity to look him over. It looks as if Louis got dressed with the intention of looking nice for the interview, but ran into some trouble on the way there. He notes the small rainbow pin on Louis' lapel and it's all coming together. Louis may be a writer for a small music magazine, but in his other life he's a huge advocate for the LGBTQIA community. Harry makes a note to ask him about that after the interview.

Rummaging through his bag and muttering to himself, Louis nearly jumps when his phone starts to ring.

"Fucking hell..." He mutters, glancing up to see Harry focused on him. Louis apologizes as a blush rises to his cheeks, causing Harry to smile in return.

"Not like I haven't heard anyone cuss before. You ok? You seem a little...out of it." Harry offers as Louis silences the phone.

Louis finds what he's looking for and places a notebook on the table. It has bookmarks sticking out every which way, scribbles in the margins, and looks generally disorganized.

He lets out a sigh. "Yeah sorry, I ran into my ex in the crowd out there - didn't know he was a fan. He's also a proper dick right now and..." He trails off, eyes meeting Harry's once more, who appears to be very entertained by Louis.

"Annnnyway, let's get to it, shall we?" He asks, pressing the microphone button on his phone and bringing out his questions.

The interview goes well, Louis starting out by asking all the normal questions. How long the guys have known each other, when the band is going on tour again, and what Harry thinks has changed the most since he's been on the road. Harry responds appropriately to all of the questions, not wanting to get any flack from Damian for saying something 'out of line.' It's easy to talk with Louis and the interview feels like more of a conversation than anything else, Louis only referencing his questions once throughout the thirty minutes they spend together.

Louis leans over and presses the stop button on his phone, telling Harry he records all of his interviews in case he misses something important in the conversation. The room falls silent, the only sound is Louis scratching his pen against the notebook, eyes briefly glancing up to Harry.

"See something you like?" He ventures a joke now that the recording device is off.

Louis grins and closes his notebook, the smile causing small crinkles to form next to his eyes. "I'm known for my detail in writing, and I don't like to leave anything out. You can look if you want, I just wrote about the scar under your chin, the dimples that show up on your cheeks, and the freckle just under your ear." Louis tells him, Harry's interest piqued by Louis' ability to notice the little things about him.

"Do you want a photo for your interview?" Harry suddenly asks, standing up from the couch and doing a little stretch. His shirt lifts up the slightest bit to reveal two leafy tattoos.

"You'd do that for me?" Louis asks, looking for his phone once more, not taking much note of Harry's movement.

Harry clears his throat.

"Still on the table, love" he finds himself saying.

Louis snatches up the phone and presses the camera app, asking Harry how he wants to pose. Louis ends up getting a close up of Harry to put in the physical article. This way it'll be 100% authentic Louis Tomlinson.

"Your fans are going to lose it." Louis says, pulling up the photo to show Harry.

Harry chuckles at the serious expression on his face in the photo before taking Louis’ phone and holding it out in front of them. He wraps an arm around Louis' shoulder and holds him close so they both fit in the frame of the camera.

"Two never before seen photos of Harry Styles." Louis comments before he locks his phone and shoves it back in his bag. He hears the opening band finish up as he hoists his bag on his shoulder. "Thanks again, and break a leg out there." He offers a handshake before rushing out the door, a tizzy of limbs.

Harry takes his time wandering backstage to the room where Niall and Zayn are surely waiting for him. He finds his mind flitting back to Nick for a moment, but shakes the image from his head - that's no way for him to start a set. Upon reaching the band dressing room, Harry has managed to psych himself up, excited to start the show and maybe play a few new tunes.

"Ayyye mate, interview good?" Niall asks before shoving two brownies in his mouth, followed by a swig of beer.

Harry nods as he drops some honey in his tea. "Yeah he was a really nice guy. I didn't realize he was the same author I really enjoy." He explains how Louis has a few writing gigs and how he is a big activist for human rights and is able to be openly gay.

"Made you think about coming out again, eh?" Zayn asks, his quiet perception accurate once again.

Shrugging, Harry finishes his tea and sets the mug on the table. He can hear the stage equipment being moved around and knows it's almost time to get out there. The guys go over their set list again, and make a few changes before the crowd quells.

The venue is small and intimate, just the kind the boys like to play. They step on stage and the room is silent, save for the bartender. The lights on stage render Harry blind to most people in the room as the first chords begin to play.

\---

After the interview, Louis makes a beeline for Liam. He has no desire to hang out with Aiden any more than he already has, and at this point would simply like a lads night with one of his best friends. He finds Liam easily, leaning against the bar sipping on some draft beer while scrolling through his phone.

"Ready to keep me distracted and fend away Aiden?" Louis asks, interrupting Liam's thoughts and eliciting a smile from the man.

Liam asks how how the interview went, and Louis gives him specifics without ruining all of the interesting bits that he plans to include in the article.

After a moment of silence he speaks again, this time stepping closer to Liam. "So not to be brash, but Styles is closeted right? I didn't want to make assumptions but..." He trails off when he sees Liam's face fall.

"You can't tell anyone." He automatically says, his voice dropping lower than it was before.

Louis scoffs and puts his hands up defensively. "Believe me, I'm the last person who would ever want to out someone. Especially a celebrity, that can be miserable." He adds, turning to the bartender to order a whiskey on the rocks. It's that kind of night.

"He just doesn't strike me as the womanizer he's made out to be." He adds quietly, a sad look on Liam's face when he agrees with Louis.

The pair maintain the perfect buzz throughout the show, tipsy enough to dance and shout at the boys, but not enough to be too ridiculous. The show is amazing, and the acoustic songs prove to Louis that the guys are extremely talented, even without their accompanying instruments. When Harry belts out the last note of a song called Moments, the place erupts into cheers.

The guys are called back for an encore, and for the first time that night, Louis thinks he spots a genuine smile on Harry's face. His long hair falls around his shoulders, a glisten of sweat at his brow, but God if that smile wasn't real, Louis didn't know what was. Harry asks a random fan what they want to hear, and Louis can feel his own smile brighten at their interaction.

"Play something new for us, please? We are your favorite, aren't we?"

Harry beams and wipes his brow, turning back to Niall and Zayn to see what they think. They both offer him a smile and a nod, so Harry turns back to the fan. "So most of the songs that are ready to be played from the new album are a little....melancholy." He finally says, searching for the right word as he looks out into the crowd, spotting Liam and Louis.

Liam can feel his heartbeat increase, wondering if Harry is going to tell the crowd why. He instantly relaxes when Harry continues.

"But!" He shouts, laughing into the microphone. "There's a certain song that I want to dedicate to my best mates, Zayn, Niall, and Liam...who's out there in the crowd." Harry squints through the light and points to him, heads turning to get a glimpse of Liam.

"Anyway, I love you all. Here's Two AM Dreams!"

The song is upbeat and uses Harry's vocal range in the best way possible. The trio harmonize together in the chorus, at some points all using the same microphone on stage. At the end of the song, Niall reminds everyone that they'll be hanging around for a bit after the show for a chat and photos if anyone is interested.

Harry heads backstage to check in with his mum about coming home tomorrow, leaving Niall and Zayn to do crowd control by the merchandise. Only a few moments later, Harry reappears, wrapping one arm around each of his mates and squeezing them tightly.

"Great show, guys!" A fan shouts, with murmurs of agreement from a number of other people.

"Thanks, mate! It's one of our favorite venues." Harry smiles and signs a shirt that the younger guy hands to him. Without warning there's a camera in his face, snapping photos and interrupting their conversation.

"Harry! Harry! Is it true that Cara Delevigne has been staying at your apartment?" The man shouts, eliciting a furrowed brow from Harry.

"What?...I...." He starts, but is interrupted again. 

"How many women have you slept with in the past year? Is your rockstar lifestyle everything you thought it would be?" He shouts again, snapping more photos of Harry, his face growing more red as time wears on.

Luckily Niall overhears what's going on and steps in, hand over the expensive camera lens. "Hey fuck off, none of this shit is any of your fucking business!" He shouts, pushing the man backward and allowing security to take him away.

The fans seem a little stunned, but Zayn and Niall go back to socializing with them, Harry retreating backstage once more. He runs a hand through the length of his hair before tugging on a beanie and taking the side door out of the building. Harry scoots a rock between the door and the frame, propping it open so he can get back inside.

With his back leaning against the cool stone of the venue, Harry takes a deep breath before reaching in his front breast pocket. He snickers at the irony of the situation, coming outside for air but filling his lungs with toxins. He really should quit smoking, but it does the trick to help him relax.

Taking a long drag from the cigarette and breathing out, Harry notices he hasn't sought solace alone. On the other side of the door is Louis, clad in a jean jacket with fur on the collar. He's eyeing Harry curiously.

"Looks like we're both escaping from something out here. Don't worry, I'll leave you with your thoughts." Louis tells him, flicking his own cigarette to the ground before stepping on it with a white converse shoe.

Harry takes another puff and shakes his head. "Don't leave on my account, just needed to get out of there for a bit, you know?" He locks his gaze with Louis who was about to walk away, but instead steps closer to Harry.

"Do you ever get sick of it? The rumors and the paparazzi?" He finds himself asking, curious if it's the life Harry expected for himself when White Eskimo took off.

"Off the record?" Harry asks, a fresh breath of smoke leaving his mouth.

The questions gets him a smile from Louis, whose arms are now wrapped around his surprisingly small frame. "Of course, as an interested party, not a writer." He assures him.

Harry lets out a sigh and looks up to the stars, masked by the bright lights from the city. "Honestly" he starts, moving one foot to rest against the wall, his knee jutting out in front of him. "I can take the paps and cameras all day, I just hate the name they've managed to make for me. It's always 'Harry the Womanizer' or 'Harry the Casanova of Women" which couldn't be further from the truth, to be frank." He glances over to Louis, his mouth quirked up on one side.

"How do you mean?" He asks, lighting up another cigarette. "You certainly dress like a Casanova, and have this sultry air about you. Someone would have to be blind to miss that." Louis offers, his mouth now in a pressed smile, his blue gaze remaining fixed on Harry.

Harry shakes his head before stomping out his cigarette. "I may be a Casanova of sorts, but they've got it all wrong. The only women I've had into my home are my family and friends. I wish I could either be left alone, or have the ability to be myself." Harry breathes, not knowing why he felt so comfortable with the man in front of him. Maybe it was because he knew that Louis was gay and surely accepting, or maybe it was the fact that he didn't want to hide anymore.

"It's difficult to be a celebrity and come out, I can only imagine." Louis offers quietly, gauging Harry for a reaction. The other man seems to soften, as if the weight of the world has been removed from his shoulders for a few moments, his whole body relaxing just the slightest bit.

"Please don't tell anyone." Is the only thing he says in response.

"Secret's safe with me, Casanova." Louis tells him before Harry turns around with purpose, kicking the rock away from the door and causing it to close with a heavy thud.

\---

Later that night, Harry pulls up to his childhood home just around midnight. Putting his black Range Rover in park, Harry peers put through his windshield at the dark home. He knows his mum and Robin are probably asleep, so he climbs out of the car and gently shuts the door. Harry sneaks inside, muscle memory helping him remember where furniture is placed as he sneaks up to his room, collapsing in the twin bed.

Harry slides open his phone and clicks on the Twitter app, hoping that no one saw him sneak away from the show. He's had people follow him to hotels and his flat before, and had no desire for his mother to endure any of that. Niall and Zayn had held back security and created a diversion. The venue was only about 40 minutes from home, so Harry jumped at the opportunity.

Browsing through mentions, it doesn't seem like anyone knows where Harry went. There's chatter of him escaping from Manchester, but nothing about where he's gone. Harry reads a tweet about escaping with an older woman and rolls his eyes, settling back into bed.

A notification snaps Harry out of his daze, seeing he has a new mention and follower: Louis.

Attached is the photo he and Harry took earlier and Harry can't help but smile at the look on their faces. Before he has the chance to change his mind, Harry sends a text to Louis.

_Hey Louis, thanks for keeping what we talked about quiet. Much appreciated!_

Louis is nearly home to Doncaster when his phone pings indicating he has a message. He runs a hand over his sleepy face and finishes the last 20 minutes of his drive before pulling up in front of his flat. With a sigh he fishes his phone out of the cup holder and sees a text from Harry. He reads it and shakes his head, hoping that Harry will eventually be able to come out on his own terms.

**L:** _No problem, thanks for meeting with me so last minute. I’m starting the article tonight - should be printed late next week!_

Louis replies, tapping his fingers on his steering wheel before taking the keys out of the ignition and grabbing his bag from the backseat. Louis sleepily makes his way up to the front door, stepping inside the dark apartment and dropping his bags on the floor. He has no desire to write anything right now, but in between his upcoming book tour and other articles, he knows he won’t have time after this weekend.

“To the dungeon” he says to the empty house, making his way downstairs to his home office. He flips on the light and sets to work on transcribing his notes.

**H:** _I’m excited to read it - don’t make me seem like too much of a prat._

Louis’ phone starts to beep incessantly while he’s reading the text, his Twitter app telling him that he has over 300 new followers.

“What the hell?” he mutters, flipping it open and realizing that Harry has re-tweeted his photo.

**L:** _You are by no means a prat, but you have a shit ton of fucking fans that are now following me. Thanks for the free advertisement!!_

**H:** _It’s the least a Casanova can do :)_

 

 

  
_….to be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, hope you enjoy! As always, all of this is fictitious and from my noggin! Got a bit more Louis in this chapter though :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”_  
>  \- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Without interruption from the outside world, Harry spends the next two days deep in thought. He socializes with his mum and sister, but spends a lot of time in his childhood bedroom, pouring over photos and notebooks he’s filled with lyrics as well as his thoughts. Harry had always been introspective and well aware of himself, which is why he was able to come out to his close family when he was thirteen. They never questioned him, never told him it was wrong or disgraceful, and were generally not surprised. His mother, sister, and Robin, had been nothing but supportive from his coming out to his want to propose to Nick.

At the same time, both Gemma and Anne were utterly protective of Harry. When the drama happened between Nick and Harry, Gemma promised her brother that the next guy he brought around would have a lot to prove, so he better be careful. Anne, along the same lines, was like a lion stalking it’s prey - she would protect her son to the ends of the Earth, but knew he had to make a few mistakes in order to grow.

No one was surprised to see Harry comes downstairs the morning after the Manchester show, but they were happy all the same. It was a treat for all of his family members to be in the same place at the same time. It didn’t happen often for Harry, and at times he felt that the only drawback to stardom was being away from his family.

Harry was lying on his bed a few days later, with his stocking feet in the air, crossed at the ankles, as he scribbled lines in a notebook. Anne cleared her throat to announce her presence, sitting at the edge of her bed to admire her son. He had grown up so much the past few years, and her heart hurt to know that she wasn’t around for most of it.

“Harry you’ve been cooped up here for days” she commented as he shut his notebook, tired eyes meeting his mums.

He sighed, rolling over on his back. “Just working, mum…” he trailed off, closing his eyes.

“Care to go for a walk with me, hon?” she asked softly, brushing a stray curl away from his forehead. She could tell something was bothering her son, and wanted to get it out of him so he could maybe begin to feel better.

Harry agreed and they both got dressed quickly, clad in winter boots and heavy coats before they made their way outside. The air was cool when it hit their faces, Harry pulling his beanie closer to his face in order to cover up his ears. He and his mother walked in silence until the house was in the background, Anne finally breaking the silence.

“What’s going on, boo?” she asked, a nickname that she had given to Harry at a very young age. He was prone to hiding in obvious places, then shouting ‘boo’ at people as if they didn’t know he was there. He was the most adorable little boy.

Harry let out a long sigh that he didn’t realize he was holding, staring forward as his legs forced him to continue to walk. “I want to come out mum. I can’t hide anymore.” he said softly, dropping his head to stare at the tops of his boots.

Harry felt an arm come around his shoulders, his mother pulling him in close as they traipsed along, heeled boots clicking against the concrete. “You already know you have an excellent support at home, love.” she paused for a moment, squeezing his shoulder. “What is it that you’re worried about?” she asked.

“The band. We’ve already made it so far, and I don’t want us to lose fans over this. Plus, everyone thinks of me as this whorish womanizer, I’m not sure anyone would believe me if I did come out.”

“Harry, love. You have to be true to yourself. I don’t think that I would want fans that didn’t support my life, if it were me. Honestly I don’t think the band would suffer at all, if anything you’d probably gain a whole new following - people like to know that they’re supported, and look up to people who are able to do that in the public light.” she offered, pulling her son to a stop in front of a small tea shop. She took his face between both of her gloved hands, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t want to force you into anything, but as your mother I want you to be your happiest self, and if that means ruffling a few feathers - I’ll support you one hundred percent, love.”

Harry’s pursed lips pulled into a sad smile, his eyes holding back tears that had been lingering there since they started this conversation. Enveloping his mother in a tight hug, Harry allowed himself to cry for the first time after everything with Nick happened. The flood gates opened, and he allowed himself to be comforted by the one person who had always been there for him no matter what. After pulling himself together, his smile more genuine now, Harry and Anne popped into the tea shop to continue their conversation about Harry and what he wanted to do.

\---

Only a few hours later, two black sedans pulled into the driveway of Anne and Robin’s house. After Robin and Anne were off to work, Harry and Gemma had talked for hours about what Harry’s public coming out would look like, and how he wanted to present himself to the world. Gemma thought that a simple announcement would be best, while Harry just wanted to start living his life the way he wanted, and when people found out they would simply find out - only then would Harry answer questions.

His PR team had other ideas.

Harry opened the door for Damian and Renee, the head of PR and management for White Eskimo. Harry had already told Zayn, Niall, and Liam that he was thinking this way, all of them supporting him no matter what happened. Damian and Renee stepped through the doorway, the tall man eyeing Harry with a curious gaze before he invited them to sit in the living room.

“So Harry, what are we doing here?” Damian asked. He was aware that Harry had news for him as indicated by his group text to the two of them, but had no idea what it was about.

Harry glanced over to his sister who was seated next to him, her nod telling him to go ahead with what he wanted to say. “Well, I uh...I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I want to be able to come out.” he told them, his hands pressed together in his lap as he watched the two of their faces change from somber into something lighter.

“Thank God, I thought you were about to say you wanted to quit.” Renee sighed, taking out a notebook, her pen moving quickly across the page to take notes.

Damian appeared to soften a bit too, his head nodding as if it were on some sort of pulley system. “Ok...ok, we can work with that.” he ran a hand through his hair, thinking of how to best approach the topic.

“It won’t be as simple as saying you’re gay, Harry. I hope you realize that much.” Damian said, his voice soft, but curt and serious.

“What do you mean?”

Damian glanced over to Renee, head of PR, hoping that she could explain it better. “Well Harry, the paps have made a name for you - as you well know. Womanizer, loose with his ladies, however you put it, it’s been going on for years and it won’t be a simple fix.”

Harry indicated he was listening, wanting Renee to get out with it.

“When you were with Nick, it would have been easier…”

The name out in the open between the four of them still caused a pain in Harry’s heart, his lips pursing as he nodded his head. “Ok, I get where you could see that.” he offered.

“The thing is, Harry. The media has all of this supposed ‘proof’ that you’ve been with women and have nothing of the contrary. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it’ll be hell for you and the boys if you don’t have some sort of proof.”

It was now that Gemma interrupted. “Well what would you have him do, he’s certainly not on speaking terms with Nick, and everyone he’s dated in the past have signed agreements. That jerk can’t be brought back into this shit.” Gemma reminded them, her hand moving to Harry’s knee and squeezing it lightly, showing him her small sign of support.

“We’re not saying that Nick has to be involved, that would be a terrible idea.” Damian offered before Renee continued.

“My suggestion is to get you some proof. Have someone stand in as your boyfriend. Of course they would keep it quiet and not say anything to anyone about the arrangement. That way, when you come out publically - might I suggest the Brit awards in February - you can say you’ve been with this guy for quite some time, get to know him, and have a solid foundation of looking like you’re in a relationship. I think it would be a much easier fix than just having people find out.”

“You’ve got to be kidding! Who’s going to do that, some loser you find off the streets?” Gemma interrupted, her voice raising. It was Harry who spoke next.

“No Gem, they might have a point...but I want to stop lying, not create more lies.” Harry explained, his eyes darting between Renee and Damian.

“Harry, this would only be for a few months. We can stage an amicable break up and you can go on to date whomever you want. The only caveat is, we don’t want many people knowing. The more people that know about the arrangement, the more chance it has to be blown up and have the press find out. That would be an extra hellish circus.” She paused for a moment, writing down a few more things in her notebook.

The group discussed the ins and outs of the agreement before Harry and Gemma signed temporary paperwork to keep everything they spoke about under wraps. Damian and Renee promised Harry it would work out for the best, and they would be diligent about finding a fake boyfriend that would mesh well with Harry and the band. Damian informed Harry that he would ask around, and get someone who made the most sense. Someone who was active in the queer community, had been single for a while, and was an appropriate age.

“Wait, wait….wait.” Damian glanced down at his phone, a smile forming on his face.

“What is it?” Harry asked, ready to be rid of them and just be able to relax at home for a bit before the chaos would surround him.

Damian typed back to someone on his phone before sliding it back into his pocket, his smile growing wider as he took in Harry’s worried appearance. “You owe your friend Liam, he’s saved us in quite a pickle.” Damian said, placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezing it lightly.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, glancing behind him to see Gemma eyeing them carefully from the couch.

Damian lowered his voice. “Liam is going to ask around his activist group. You know he has a lot of connections in the LGBT community. That’s how he met Louis Tomlinson, remember the interviewer?”

Harry nodded. Of course he remembered Louis, he was basically one of his favorite authors, not to mention one of the most attractive men he had ever seen. His cheekbones could cut glass, and Harry couldn’t help but remember how forthcoming and kind he had been about everything they had talked about.

“Well I asked Liam for some help with our...project...and well, he agreed.”

“Agreed to what?” Harry asked, brown drawn together as he felt his phone buzz a few times in his pocket.

“Help find your boyfriend. It’ll be better to have someone that we’re familiar with rather than a stranger. I trust Liam’s judgement.” Damian said quietly before shutting the door behind him, leaving Harry with racing thoughts.

\---

After having a number of conversations with Damian and Renee, they agreed to let Harry tell the band members and a few of his close friends about their agreement. Everyone had reacted differently, though there was a resounding support for Harry and his well being and happiness. Zayn was very quiet about the situation, Niall had thought it was ridiculous and wanted better for Harry, and Liam had told Harry he would try his hardest to find someone who deserved to spend time with him. At the very least he wanted Harry to have a new friend among the chaos.

A few days had passed and the guys were preparing for their last show before their break to work on the new album. Everyone was very excited, especially Anne and Gemma who would be at the show since it was so close to home. Harry loved having them in close proximity, and it helped to know that at least Gemma knew what was going on in his private life.

Lycem Theatre was the last venue on the tour, which was only a twenty minute drive from Harry’s childhood home. The boys spent the time before the show on the tour bus, going over the set list and getting amped about the show and the after party. Niall and Zayn had taken care of the after party guest list, alcohol, and location, as Harry currently had a lot on his plate.

Harry was reading over a particularly terrible article about himself in The Sun, a low groan coming out of his mouth at the sight of his photo plastered next to Cara’s leaving his apartment late at night. Little did anyone know, he was helping her plan her wedding to her fiancee and fellow musician, Annie Clark. The pair had been engaged for over a year, but of course Harry had to be trying to break them up, according to everyone and their cousin.

With an elongated sigh, Harry laid his head against the magazine cover as the door to the bus opened, Liam popping his head in.

“Going that good, eh mate?” he asked, sitting at the table across from him, and putting something next to Harry’s head.

“If it’s another trash article about me, I don’t want to see it.” Harry groaned, picking his head off the table and looking down at the publication with his face splashed across the front. His long fingers skimmed the cover, the Q&L magazine article that he was interviewed for must have been inside. “How did you get this? I thought it wasn’t out yet.”

Liam smiled and pushed the magazine closer to Harry. “Louis gave me a copy, said to extend an extra thank you. He’s coming to the show later I think, kid sister likes the band.” he said, by way of explanation. “You should read it, it’s really great. Throw that Sun trash out.” Liam playfully ruffled his hand on top of Harry’s head, curls falling all about his face.

“See you out there!” Liam called before exiting the tour bus, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts and the magazine.

He stared down at the photo, one that captured his happiness and didn’t look at all forced. The interview was only about a week ago, but so much had happened between now and then, it had felt like a lifetime. Harry flipped open the magazine and found the interview close to the center, reading the article carefully.

_White Eskimo fans in the UK and abroad have been following the band’s tour very closely this concert season, trying to get hints about what’s to come in the next album. One third of the band, Harry Styles, agreed to an exclusive interview with yours truly, to discuss the album and how the band is growing together._

_Q &L’s Louis Tomlinson caught up with Harry Styles before the guys went on stage in Manchester at the Ruby Lounge. The room is covered in a gaudy velvet, with Harry seated in what he deems his “favorite tour couch” which is a simple leather loveseat. For those fashion forward readers, I have no idea what he’s wearing, but all of us adoring fans know that he could make a dishrag look like Gucci…or something._

Harry read the introduction with a smile on his face, moving forward to the actual interview.

_Q &L: The band finishes its world tour on October 23rd with the show in Cheshire. How has the UK leg of the tour been going so far?_

_Harry Styles: There have been incredible shows across Europe. Some of the best we’ve had. This is by far my favorite part of the tour, because it’s close to home and I get to see my family and the place where we really started to ‘make it.’_

_Q &L: I know the fans are very excited about the upcoming album, any thoughts on teasers at the last few shows? What should the fans expect._

_HS: Well anything is possible really, we like to give the fans hints of what’s to come - keep them interested, ya know?_

__

_Q &L: Speaking of the fans, we have a few fan questions here - can I ask you some?_

_HS: Of course, I love seeing what they have to say._

__

_Q &L: This one here is a marriage proposal, surely you don’t want to hear that? (come on Eskimos, try to control yourselves!)_

_HS: Well I’m flattered, mystery fan, but my dating life is pretty personal to me. I’ll let you know whenever I’m on the market._

__

_Q &L: Speaking of your dating life, this fan wants to know what you look for in a significant other._

_HS: Well I would say someone who’s kind, has a nice smile, you know, can make me laugh._

The rest of the article focuses more on the music, how Harry and the boys have developed a new sound and are working hard on being more active on promotions of their songs, as their fan base continues to grow. There’s a shot of Harry relaxing in his favorite couch, the closeup from the cover, and a small photo of Louis smiling in the corner, indicating that he’s the author.

Harry closes the magazine and breathes a sigh of relief, thankful to Louis for not writing anything incriminating or selling him out to the magazine. He didn’t peg Louis as someone who would do that, but Harry had a hard time trusting anyone ever since Nick, especially men. Grabbing the magazine, Harry exits the tour bus and makes his way backstage to meet up with the boys.

\---

The show goes off without a hitch, the guys all performing their hearts out. Niall took one of his solos to the next level, slamming on the guitar and belting his verses as if they were the last lines he would ever say. Zayn works on his instrumental bits that he’s going to bring into the next album, destroying the drums while the fans eat it up. This is probably one of the best shows they ever have, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

The guys all hug on stage, causing the fans to burst out in a new round of applause.  Harry steps up to the mike and puts his hands together, bowing deeply to the fans in thanks. “We are so incredibly grateful to all of you! White Eskimo wouldn’t be here without our fans, and we are very thankful to have such a supportive base! The guys and I all hope you like the next album. We’ll be working really hard to make sure that it’s the best yet!” Harry waves again and exits the stage, nearly 1,500 fans cheering their hearts out, one of the biggest venues they’ve played to date.

"Oiiiii amazing show, mates!" Niall shouts, taking Harry and Zayn into yet another tight hug.

The guys are on cloud nine when they get to the hotel, showering and cleaning up before the wrap party. Everyone has invited close friends and family, and it should be quite the event.

Harry runs his hands through his wet hair, towel wrapped around his hips as he squirts some product in his hands. Harry isn't vain by any means, but likes to look good and feel good about himself - especially when the rest of his life is kind of a mess.

He hears a knock at the door and calls for whomever it is to wait a minute. It's a private hotel and they're usually pretty good about keeping room numbers a secret, but Harry dons a robe anyway in case it's a sneaky fan.

Opening the door, Harry is surprised to be met with two familiar faces.

Liam and Louis are looking over at him, Louis eyes scanning Harry's frame, lingering the slightest bit on the drooping neckline of the fuzzy white hotel robe. Harry is suddenly very aware of what's going on, pulling the robe tighter around himself, eyes focusing on Liam.

"Hey mate, I tried calling you like eight times before I text Zayn and he let me know what room you were in." Liam explains, his face reddening as he speaks.

"Hey, uh sorry, I'll just wait downstairs with Lottie." Louis tells them, dropping his eyes and glancing down the hall.

Harry snaps back to reality. "No, no, you guys come in. I'll only be a minute. My thoughts got away with me in the shower." Harry invites them to sit down before he wanders back into the bathroom, coming out only a few minutes later.

Hair still damp, Louis thinks Harry looks the best he's ever seen. Harry's wearing his classic skinny jeans, and a billowing creamy orange shirt with chevrons dancing across it. The blouse hangs open past his chest, revealing the two necklaces he's basically always wearing. Harry runs a hand through his hair, a sleepy smile gracing his lips.

"Shall we? I could use a drink and night away from management." Harry breathes, slipping on a pair of black ankle boots.

"What's going on with management?" Louis asks, surprised at himself for being so forward with his thoughts. "I mean, off the record of course. Sorry, curious." A blush rises to his cheeks as he eyes the smile forming on Harry's lips.

With a heavy sigh, Harry starts to explain to Louis what's been going on with his coming out process. Louis knows that he's gay anyway, and shit, maybe he has some advice or knows someone who could help Harry out. Louis is close to Liam, who seems to trust him, so Harry pushes the secret documents to the back of his mind and spills his feelings.

Louis is silent for a long moment, shaking his head as if he can't believe what he's heard.

"And you have to do it the way they want?" He finds himself asking, feeling sad for Harry and this life he's been forced into.

"Yeeeeep." He says, popping the p. "Any advice?" Harry asks, glancing over to Liam who's lips are pursed. Liam is able to be open and himself, and only wants the same for his best friend. He's been very quiet on the subject, though Harry knows how he feels.

Louis arches a manicured brow, glancing between the two. "I think...do you want me to help?"

"Yeah anything, how?"

"Well...I'm single, and have maintained a pretty clean record, and it would be better to know who....this shit is crazy."

"What are you saying, Lou?" Liam asks, pushing himself off the bed and readying to leave to go to the after party.

A coy smile spreads across Louis' face, his mind running a mile a minute. "I mean, I could do it." He pauses. "I mean I'll have to force my ass into a suit for the Brit Awards, but I can think of worse things than being seen as Harry Styles' boyfriend."

 

_to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for more Larry interaction. Please comment if you have any questions or like the fic so far :) <3 love you all!

The tour wrap party is everything the boys planned for and more. There's an epic DJ, a dance floor, and they're surrounded by new and old friends alike. Louis works the room like a pro, chatting with anyone and everyone who will talk with him. Harry notices him off in a corner talking to Liam at one point in the night, while Harry is chatting with Zayn about Louis' offer.

"Well what do you really know about him?" Zayn asks, concern etched on his face.

"Not much. He's gay, one of my favorite authors, and one of Liam's best friends" Harry shrugs, taking a long pull from his third whiskey drink that night. It's been nice to let loose and not worry about anything right now.

"I mean I trust Liam, what does he say about it?"

Harry finishes his drink and sets it down on a tray that a nearby waiter is carrying. "He said he was silly for not thinking of Louis before. He actually shares a flat with him when they're both in London, he's become quite close with him."

Louis watches Harry's back as he leans against the wall, sipping his drink and talking with Zayn. The pair of them seem pretty serious, and Louis can see the muscles tense under Harry's shirt. He's pulled from his staring by Liam's voice.

"Lou, did you hear me?" He's asking.

"I'm sorry, what mate?"

Liam shakes his head and turns around to see what he's looking at, following his gaze across the room. "It was nice of you to offer, but if you're feeling weird about it, you don't have to."

"No, I really do want to help. It sucks that he has to come out this way, all the lying and the secrets. I mean I was scared of getting the shit beat out of me, but I can't imagine something on this level. I've helped people come out before, it's the least I can do."

Liam hasn't known Louis too long, but recognizes a fellow bleeding heart when he sees one. They're both very passionate about human rights and would go to the ends of the earth for a stranger.

"Plus I need to get to know this Zayn guy you keep yapping about." Louis gives him a wry smile, nudging Liam in the ribs and nodding behind him to the other approaching guys.

"Hey" Harry nods to the two of them, small smile across his face. "Has anyone seen Niall?" The sentence has barely left his mouth before they hear an Irish wail and Niall approaching with a tray of shots.

Niall beams at everyone, clearly drunk himself as he gives the other boys a number of shots. With a shrug, Louis takes them like a champ, a small shiver going through his form as the liquid hits him.

"Ayyyyy! I like this one, he can stay!" Niall shouts, clapping him on the shoulder and pulling Louis into a tight hug.

In that moment, Harry decides he wants to get to know Louis. If Liam approves and thinks they can all be friends at the very least, then having him as his stand in boyfriend wouldn't be the end of the world. A few months of hanging about and being seen together, then they can both go back to their normal lives.

Harry excuses himself, eliciting a look of confusion from Louis and Liam. He walks out to the balcony, phone in hand, wondering how this conversation is going to go. He rings Gemma.

"Harry?" She asks, her voice groggy. It sounds like she's just woken up.

"I'm sorry it's late, Gem...I just, I'm nervous about this thing."

Gemma is silent for a moment before making a knowing sound. "The boyfriend thing?" She asks, clearing her throat.

The two talk for a few minutes about Louis and how he could be a good connection for Harry. Gemma reminds her brother that even if he can't stand the other guy, it's not like they have to be around one another every waking moment. Harry thanks Gemma for her reassurance and they hang up, making promises to talk to one another soon.

Harry walks toward the door leading out to the balcony, texting Damian when he nearly runs into someone. "Oops!" He says automatically, his blushing face rising to meet Louis' at the near mishap.

"Hi." Louis pauses for a moment, running a hand through his hair. He looks nervous but carries on, all the same. "Hey sorry. I was hoping to catch you by yourself for a minute. That ok?"

"Uh yeah, sure...what's up?" Harry asks, taking a seat on some patio furniture, drink still in hand.

Louis pulls out the chair next to him, all the while his eyes never leave Harry's form. "Listen, I've been talking with Liam, and I just want to let you know I think it's absolute shit what they're making you do. I mean you should be able to come out however you want, Christ it's so frustrating - and I’m an outsider. Liam assures me you can't get out of it, and you know I only offered to help. I don't want anything from it. I think you and the guys seem great, and Liam never stops talking about Zayn so..." Louis trails off, watching the expression on Harry's face change into something ecstatic.

"Wait. Waaaaait. What did you say?" Harry asks, his green eyes widening.

Louis stumbles over his words for a moment, surprised at how close the two of them are. He can practically hear Harry's excitement.

“I think you guys are really great..” Louis trails off, his sentence shoved into the wind by Harry’s waving hand.

“No, no, that’s nice and all, but the thing about Zayn.” he clarifies, leaning forward as if Louis will speak faster the closer he gets.

"Shit. Did you not know?" He asks

Harry shakes his head. "No...I'd always suspected that Liam felt that way but...Lou, we have work to do." Harry told him, and without another moment's notice Harry takes his hand and pulls him over to the glass door, staying just far enough out of sight that they can peer inside.

"What are we doing?" Louis asks, surprised that in the last thirty seconds he's gotten a nickname and is now holding Harry's hand.

"You just gave me the best news ever." Harry whispers, still looking in through the door, spotting Zayn and Liam talking by the bar. He turns back to Louis, nearly smashing into him again. "How do you feel about dancing?" He asks suddenly, their faces only inches apart.

“I like it, but I’m shit, really. Why, are you asking me out?" Louis jokes, keenly aware of his hand still intertwined with Harry's.

The smile that graces Harry's face is something from a fairytale, he looks like an absolute prince. "Let's call it our first unofficial date.” Harry pauses, glancing back inside. We need to make Liam and Zayn admit their feelings for one another, and I have just the place."

\---

After meeting Louis' little sister and saying goodbye to the guests that remained at the wrap party, the boys all left for the club. Louis had assured Liam that they wouldn't be out late, and they could crash in a hotel room if they needed to. Harry decided that Louis was much better at plotting than he was, and let the older man take the reins on the project they named "Ziam."

It's nearly one in the morning when Paul drops them off at the club, and they are immediately enmeshed in a throng of people dancing inside. Niall leads the way to the bar, with the others traveling far behind. The Irishman must be quite sneaky, because by the time the rest of the group catches up, he already has a round of drinks for them. "To the makers of this fine whiskey!" Niall toasts to the group, clinking his glass each of them individually.

"Hey, who wants to dance?" Louis asks, eyeing Liam and Zayn who have been chatting quietly amongst themselves since coming into the club.

"Yeah mate, lets!" Harry grabs Zayn's arm while Louis grabs Liam, meanwhile Niall is deep in conversation with the bartender.

The group move out to the designated dance floor, heading for the middle of the room where the noise drowns out everything else. Sweaty bodies surround them, and Louis laughs loud enough to hear when Harry gets pressed against him. The pair smile at one another and start to dance, Harry moving wildly in their confined space. Zayn and Liam are close by, dancing together in the most vanilla way possible. Liam’s arms are above his head, fist pumping to the music, while Zayn is bobbing his head and shuffling his feet about.

Louis nods to the other pair, Harry’s eyes traveling to see what’s going on. They exchange a look, Louis rolling his eyes as they move closer. With Harry’s hand on his hip, Louis decides that he isn’t the worst dancer in the club. Harry has rhythm that Louis will by no means ever possess, but it helps him not look like that much of an idiot on the dance floor. The two dance for a few songs before Louis notices someone with a camera, possibly snapping photos of the band members. He leans in close to Harry so he can hear over the music.

“You don’t want to be papped with me yet, do you?” he asks, nearly shouting, but sounding like a whisper over the music.

Harry pulls back from him a bit and drops his hands from Louis’ frame. “I shouldn’t be yet, no.” Harry tells him, having strict orders from Damian and Renee about his timeline. Harry’s smile drops from his face as he looks over at Zayn and Niall, dancing away like idiots.

“C’mon.” Louis says before leading Harry over to the pair, forcing Liam and Zayn closer together as the music blares on. They look surpsied at the interruption, with Harry grinding on Zayn while Louis pushes Liam closer to Zayn with his arse. The group look like they’re having a fun dance party, but the Ziam plot is well on it’s way.

After what seemed like hours on the dance floor, the guys make their way back to the bar, with Niall nowhere to be seen. Harry sends his friend a quick text, knowing that Niall is fine, but simply wanting to check in with him.

“Harry did you invite Louis and Liam over for next weekend?” Zayn asks, eyeing Liam in a glance that he thinks no one else saw.

Harry’s brows draw closer together, trying to remember if they had plans. “What’s next weekend?” he asks just as Louis comes back with new drinks for the four of them.

“Friday! Fifa! Lads party! Remember?” Zayn asks, usually not this excited about having company. Zayn, Niall, and Harry all share a house in London when they’re not touring. They all thought they would be sick of one another by now, but living together has made them even that much closer.

“Fifa?” Louis asks, taking a long pull from his drink.

“The guys and I are having a Fifa night. Usually it involves a lot of yelling at the TV, followed by a lot of booze and Niall’s weird antics.” Harry explained, taking the drink from Louis before turning his attention to Liam. “You in?”

“Of course” Liam says, his eyes flitting over to Zayn for a moment before settling on Louis. “I promised Lou I would get him good and pissed  for a bit of motivation to work on his new novel - so two weekeneds in a row should do just fine!” Liam claps Louis on the shoulder and brings him in close for a side hug, messing with his nearly perfect fringe.

Harry smiles at their interaction and knows Liam must be drunk, the way he’s slurring his words together. Hell, they all seem pretty lit from drinking for the past few hours. Harry glances down at his phone, reading a text from Niall that tells him he’s fine, and was actually with the bartender. Looking up from his phone, Harry finds Louis animatedly talking with Zayn and Liam about next weekend and how excited he is. Turns out Louis loves Fifa just as much as the rest of them, and should be a good contender for the game.

Instead of jumping in the conversation, Harry takes a moment to look at the group. Louis looks so casual with his arm draped around Liam, leaning in closer to talk about the Doncaster Rovers with Zayn as he slaps the other man’s shoulder. It’s like he’s been friends with the group for years, but only just started coming around. Harry’s gaze lingers on Louis’ lips, trailing down his back to the curve of his bum. Harry would be lying if he didn’t think Louis looked great in whatever jeans he wore.

“Yeah, ready Harry?” Louis asked, dragging Harry’s attention away from his bum.

Harry shook his head and was met with an ice blue gaze. “Sorry, what? Ready for what?”

Louis’ eyes widened for a moment as he attempted to gesture to Zayn and Liam without being noticed. “Boys are ready to go, you in?” he clarified, brows arched. Louis knew something was going to happen with their Ziam plan tonight, and the guys were wanting to get back to the hotel and sleep - Louis imagined they had other plans. He couldn’t wait to share his thoughts on the matter with Harry.

By the time Paul got them back to the hotel, it was nearly four in the morning. Paul dropped them off in the back of the hotel, taking the private lift up to their rooms. Once they arrived up at the floor, Liam turned to Harry, his speech still slurred from the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

“Harrrry, where should I sleep?” he asked, arm slung over Zayn’s shoulder.

Harry stole a glance at Louis before focusing on his friend. “Well Niall had space in his room but seeing as he’s otherwise engaged...you could stay with Zayn and Louis can stay in my room, yeah?”

A sleepy smile came across Liam’s face as he nodded his head. “No funny business.” he stated before giggling, being led off to the other room by Zayn who gave him a wave.

Louis clasped his hands together and turned toward Harry, a look of pure excitement on his face. “We did it!” he nearly shouted before remembering what time it was. “Liam is completely gone for him. Oh, we did good tonight.” Louis watched the pair walk down the hall before turning back to Harry and running a hand through his hair.

He noticed a slightly worried expression on Harry’s face. “Hey uh, I can get a taxi and go home if you’d rather.” Louis offered, shoving a hand into his pocket.

“Don’t be daft. I have a huge bed and I can take the couch.” Harry said, slipping the keycard in and holding the door open for Louis.

Even though the pair had been together all night, they hadn’t had any alone time, save for their conversation out on the balcony. Louis sat at the edge of the bed, hands in his lap as Harry stepped into the bathroom to do some washing up.

“Hey you need some clothes?” Harry asked, sticking his head out the bathroom door. Louis began to protest, but knew he wouldn’t get a moment’s sleep without changing into at least his boxers.

“If you have joggers I won’t turn them down.” Louis called back to him, slipping off his shoes.

Harry rummaged through his suitcase that had looked like it had taken a beating, eventually tossing Louis a pair of black comfy sweatpants. Louis thanked him and Harry went back to the bathroom to change.

\----

It was nearly two hours later before they actually went to bed. Louis and Harry had stayed up talking and getting to know one another the rest of the night. Harry was a big fan of Louis’ work, and was surprised to find out that most of his novels had been based off of his own life experience. He didn’t press Louis any further, but was very interested in what he had experienced and the way he wrote. Louis admitted that he was having a bit of writer's block lately, as his life had been fairly boring and he needed a new muse. The pair were talking in bed until six in the morning when the sun started to rise, and Harry had drifted off. Louis didn’t bother waking him up, but fell asleep a few feet away from the singer, wondering if his life was really headed in this direction.

Harry woke up first, feeling an odd weight against his chest as he stirred. He opened his eyes slowly, the light flooding in through the windows reminding him of how much he had to drink the night before. Finally getting a hold of where he was, Harry glanced down to see Louis’ sleeping soundly on his chest. His fingers splayed across Harry’s tshirt, Harry couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It had been a long time since he had been this close to anyone, but Louis felt different - Louis was different, especially as someone who wasn’t his actual boyfriend.

As if on cue, Harry’s phone started to ring, the classical music harsh against the silence in the hotel room. Louis lashes fluttered open, his mouth slightly agape as he noticed where he was. “I...sorry.” he muttered before moving to his own pillow, a light pink blush on his structured cheekbones.

“No worries, Lou.” Harry commented before sliding open his phone, not recognizing the number.

“Hello?” he asked, his voice still raspy from sleep.

“EEEEY, Harry!” The voice blared over the phone, Harry instantly knowing who was on the other end. He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Grimmers...why the early call, am I on air?” he asked his radio host friend as he glanced over to Louis, rolling his eyes. Louis smiled and sat up in bed, stretching his arms over his head.

“Nah mate, it’s nearly noon, you twat!” he told him. Louis scrambled next to him, checking his phone to confirm what the loud voice had said. He muttered a few curses under his breath before leaning his head against the headboard with a groan.

Harry looked at him curiously before addressing Nick again. “Aright so what’s with the noon call...what do you want to harass me about?”

“Well I thought since you were single...and I’m devilishly good looking and single…” he trailed off.

“Grimmers…” Harry warned.

“Cara’s wedding, you got a date?” he asked. Harry glanced over at Louis who was typing away rapidly at his phone. Grimmy had no idea about his plot, and certainly didn’t know if Harry was dating anyone or not.

“Actually mate, I’ve got a boyfriend.” he told him, Louis’ eyes glancing upward to meet Harry’s. He shrugged and sent a playful smile in Harry's direction.

“WHAT.” Nick’s voice boomed over the phone, quite loud enough for Louis to hear and start snickering. “Harry boy, didn’t we have a fabulous agreement that the moment you felt ‘readdddy’ to date again, you would immediately call me?” he stressed the word ready, Harry shaking his head at the other man.

“Your idea, not mine, Grimmers.” he said with a smile, watching as Louis got out of bed and began to get dressed. He was entranced after Louis took off his shirt, his back muscles flexing as he picked his clothing up from the chair, slipping his shirt on from the night before.

“Is he there now? Why aren’t you answering me?”

Harry shook his head, focusing his attention back on Nick. “Yeah he’s here, we went out with the mates last night after the wrap party. We’ll see you next Saturday then, love.” Harry promised, flipping his phone off and tossing it on the bed, muttering a ‘Christ’ under his breath.

Louis returned from the bathroom, fully dressed with his hair styled in a fresh quiff. He looked great and Harry couldn’t help but stare at him for an elongated moment.

“Should I be ready for a wedding next weekend?” Louis asked, folding the sweatpants he had borrowed from Harry and setting them on the bed.

“If it’s not too much trouble - only if you’re able to, I mean.”

Louis smiled and glanced down at his phone once more, preoccupied with the time. “Meet all your friends and be harassed by them? Sounds like an excellent time to me!” he said sarcastically, though he was smiling broadly. Louis’ phone started to ring and he silenced it with a finger. “Sorry, I babysit for my sisters on Sunday’s - mums wondering when I’ll be around so she can get away.” he shrugged, wondering how they were going to say their goodbyes after sleeping very closely in the same bed.

Harry stood up from the bed and adjusted his pants and stretching his shoulders a bit. “I’ll let you know about Saturday, text you or something.” He told Louis, taking him in for a quick hug before leading him to the door. “Have fun with your sisters” he offered, opening the door for Louis to walk into the hall.

“Thanks for last night, it was fun. Pleeeeease let me know how Zaim worked out - Li will need a ride home, but I don’t want to interrupt them…” Louis trailed off, glancing down the hall as if he could tell something were happening in Zayns room.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.” Harry promised, shoving his hands into his pockets as Louis’ phone rang again.

“See you next weekend” Louis offered before picking up the phone and greeting his mum, waving with a few of his fingers before making his way to the bank of lifts.

Harry watched him get in the lift before going back to his room, leaning against the heavy wooden door as it closed. There wasn’t any question that Louis was great, and one of the friendliest people Harry had ever met. The only question was, how fast was Harry going to fall for Louis Tomlinson?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to post on Friday. My grandpa passed away last week and I wasn't in a state/mood to write anything. I'm posting tis small fluff chapter today to hold everyone over until Friday when there will be a MUCH longer chapter. Thanks loves <3

Louis had spent the majority of his drive home wondering if he was getting in over his head. He hadn’t even been out with Harry acting as his boyfriend, and he already felt a bit overwhelmed by the paps and fans that were constantly tweeting at him and surrounding the boys when they were out. Liam had told him that if he wanted to step away he could, but Louis had come to know Harry a bit in the past few days and definitely didn’t want to let him down. He planned to see the project through and help his new friend in whatever way possible. And hell, maybe it would be motivation for him to get his new novel in the works - or at least get some ideas.

Preoccupied by his thoughts, Louis didn’t even notice all of his sister on the porch screaming for him when he pulled into the drive. He hopped out of the car and hugged each of them, the twins latching themselves to his legs as he walked up to the front door to kiss his mother hello.

“Darling, how have you been? You look...tired. Sorry, love.” her face was a light blush, not wanting to make Louis feel badly.

“S’alright mum, was out late with some new friends last night.” he explained how Liam had introduced him to the guys in White Eskimo and they had really hit it off as a group.

After speaking to his mum for a bit, Jay left to go run errands without her gaggle of children. The rest of them stayed home and set up a board game while Louis put on the kettle. Just as it’s whistling, Louis hears a ding from his phone and he has a new text.

**Harry:** You’re a mastermind.

That’s all the text says, and Louis can’t help but smile at his phone, wondering why he’s so great this morning. He taps back a reply.

_I’m pretty great, but what have I done to deserve this title?_

He sends back, before preparing his tea - little milk, no sugar. Louis rejoins his sister on the floor of their living room only to see that he’s now involved in an epic game of monopoly. The group are playing for almost an hour when Louis gets a response to his questions - though this time, it’s in the form of a phone call. Harry’s number pops up on his screen and he silences the call, knowing his sisters will be irritated if he leaves the game too soon. He texts Harry to let him know that he’ll give him a ring later before going back to the game, Lottie eying him curiously.

“Who was that?” she asks, leaning her back against the couch, one of her perfectly manicured brows arched.

Louis moved the thimble across the board before answering. “Harry. It’s fine, I’m not interrupting the game.” he glances over at his other sisters, who are contently staring at their own pieces.

A smile tugs at the corner of Lottie’s mouth as she observes her brother. “Are you two...like, a thing?” she finally asks, telling the younger girls to go grab a snack from the kitchen while she and Louis talk. He desperately wants them to stay so they don’t have to talk about this, but turns to face his sister.

“Why do you ask?”

Lottie shrugs. “I dunno, you got all...smiley when you saw he was calling you.” she offers, picking up Louis’ phone before Louis has a chance to protest. She thumbs through the contacts before finding Harry’s name, the picture the same one that Louis took when he first interviewed him.

“Should we call him back?”

“What? Lottie, no. I’ll call back later.”

“Is he your boyyyyyfriend?” she mocks, her eyes glancing down at the screen once more.

Louis tries to grab for the phone, but it’s too late. Lottie has already pressed his name and the phone has been ringing for a moment when he picks up.

“Hey Lou!” his voice is deep but peppy, the roughness a stark contrast from anyone else Louis have ever been with before.

“It’s actually Lottie. Tell me something, are you two dating?” she asks, and Louis puts his head in his hands. He can always count on her to be blunt and straight to the point.

Louis can practically hear Harry smiling over the phone. “Well, you can’t tell anyone just yet - but yeah, I suppose we are.” his voice is cool and reassuring, not wavering for even a second as he talks with Lottie. She gives him a warning about being kind to her brother, and eventually hangs up the phone, not giving Louis a chance to find out what Harry was calling about earlier.

“Explain.” she tells him, shooing the twins back to the kitchen before Louis launches into their arranged boyfriends story.

\-----

Lottie has been giving Louis the cold shoulder since he explained what was going on with Harry. He left out all of the parts where he thinks Harry is attractive, funny, or artistic. He doesn’t want to add any more fuel to his sister’s fire. She expressed a number of times in their conversation how she feels about the arrangement, and how he’s setting himself up for disaster. Louis had tried to get across that he was doing it to be a good friend and help someone who needed it. Lottie didn’t appear to understand.

“I’m going to call Harry back, can you watch the girls please?” Louis asked, pulling his phone from his pocket and glancing down at a number of texts from Liam and Stan.

“Do whatever you want.” she rolled her eyes before going upstairs.

Louis scrolled down to Harry’s name and tapped the number, phone ringing a few times before he picked up.

“Hey, sorry about earlier.” Louis says immediately, his voice low as his mind is still preoccupied with the conversation he had with Lottie.

“No problem, Lou. How are the sisters?” Harry asks, appearing genuinely interested.

“Mmmm good I guess. Lottie is a bit overprotective, just in case you meet her again and she acts different towards you.” he explains how he told Lottie about their agreement, knowing that Harry hadn’t officially cleared it with management yet.

Harry chuckles and appears a bit distracted. “It’s alright. Gem is the same way, so meeting her will be quite the event. Hey do you have a minute to talk about Ziam?”

The pair are talking for an hour about Zayn and Liam sleeping - only sleeping - with one another after their epic evening before Louis even notices the time. Harry told him how Liam rushed to his room that morning looking for Louis, and instead launched into a story about how he’s crazy for Zayn and they actually kissed the night before but he’s not sure if Zayn remembers it. Louis tells Harry that he will definitely be calling Liam later, and will fill Harry in on all of the details that he may have left out earlier in the day. It isn’t until Jay comes home that Louis realizes how long they’ve been on the phone.

“Hey darling, who are you…” she trails off as Louis whispers something to Harry, pressing the phone against his chest to talk to his mum.

“Mum hi, I’ll just be another minute.”

“Or another hour!” Lottie calls from the other room, causing Louis to roll his eyes and step upstairs into his bedroom to finish his conversation with Harry. He apologizes to the singer, wondering how they’ve been able to carry on a conversation for this long after only knowing one another for such a short time.

“No worries. Hey, can we chat about the wedding next weekend before I let you go?”

Louis runs a hand through his hair, glancing at his bedroom door. He knows his mother will have a million questions when he comes out. “Sure, what are the details.”

“I was thinking you could meet at my place around one, does that work? The wedding is at three at this hotel in London - rooftop, of course. I’m in the wedding party so are you ok sitting with Ed for a bit?” Harry asks and Louis racks his brain to remember who all he met at the wrap party.

“Ed Sheeran? That’ll be rough, Styles. Sitting next to a worldwide known musician is going to suuuuuck.” he drags out the word before laughing, eyes crinkling up at the corners.

“Ok so Friday FIFA night, then Saturday wedding.” Harry confirms, clearing his throat. “You should just stay over Friday night, I’ll see if the rest of the mates want to as well.” Harry offers, his voice trailing off toward the end as if he’s nervous.

“Sounds epic, Hazza.”

They click off before Louis realizes he’s given Harry a pet name, and Harry hasn’t done anything to stop it.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting for this. I'm so happy to be putting it out a few hours early, especially with the release of MITAM. Happy reading and listening all of you lovely humans. Hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."_  
>  \- Oscar Wilde

It isn’t until Harry pulls up to the office in his Range Rover, that a sick feeling starts to rise up in his chest. He can feel his pulse quickening when he walks up to the building, not bothering to notice the paparazzi stationed just outside the gates to the management office. Harry spoke to Damian and Renee after talking with Louis and Liam at the wrap party, but they wanted to meet with him separately.

Harry steps inside the lift, tapping his ankle boots gently against the tile floor to the soft tinkling music within. He debates texting Liam and Louis to see if they’re sure about the arrangement, but waves the thought from his head, knowing that this is the next step to him being out in the open.

“Harry” Damian greets him with a smile when Harry steps off the lift, a red blush rising in his cheeks as he walks toward his manager.

“Damian, hey. So uh, what’s the story?” he asks, wondering what more they have to talk about.

Damian leads Harry to the conference room that they’ve used many times before, mostly to talk about the new album and press for the band. It feels a lot different in the room, and he can practically cut the tension with a knife. Harry’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he ignores it, sitting in one of the plush rolling chairs, fingers gripping the armrests as he waits for someone to speak.

“So” Renee walks in, manilla folder in hand as she greets Harry and Damian. “Seems you’ve made a decent choice here, Mr. Styles.” She continues, closing the door and flipping open her folder, handing copies of it’s contents to Damian and Harry. She doesn’t let anyone speak, but carries on. “Here you’ll find Mr. Tomlinson’s background check - clean as a whistle, might I add. Along with the check are his school records, publications, and speaking engagements he’s been involved in.”

Harry looks down at the papers and thinks about flipping through them, but decides it’s too much of an invasion of privacy. His fingertips graze over a photo of Louis that’s paperclipped to his stack of papers. The caption states that Louis was speaking at Oxford for an LGBT conference, and he looks positively ravishing. The suit fits perfectly and he has a smirk on his face that Harry hasn’t seen before. He’s torn from his thoughts by Renee, who apparently is still speaking.

“...so you can be seen out with him, but no comments until the Brit awards, where I think you should show up very couply and let people know on the carpet. It’ll be perfect.” she states with a smile. Harry puts two and two together and figures that she’s said he can go out as much as he wants with Louis and the boys but can’t confirm anything until February.

“So you want me out with him, but I just say no comment if there are any questions?” Harry asks, wondering how well that’s going to work with the growing number of paps that have started following the band.

Renee finally sits down and taps her fingers on the table. “We’re not doing this to punish you, Harry, but this is the best way. You all can go out in a group, by yourselves, whatever you want - but when the time comes, make it convincing.” she states, her eyes trailing down to Harry’s hand that’s still sprawled across Louis’ picture.

“He’s perfect for the job.” she adds. “Handsome, an active advocate, and clean record.” she pulls out her phone, dialing a number and letting it ring for a moment.

“Hello?” There’s laughter on the other end of the phone, and the person who’s answered appears to be struggling with something very amusing.

“Mr. Tomlinson?” Renee asks, Harry’s breath catching in his throat. He knew Renee would get in touch with him, but he wasn’t sure how soon that would happen.

“ _Fizzie...quit_...S’me.” he finally manages to say, another snicker is heard on the other line, and Harry finds himself wondering what’s going on at Louis’ home.

“I know you confirmed receiving my e-mail with the contract the other night, have you had a chance to look over it yet?” How long had they been in touch with one another.

Louis takes a moment to answer, as if he’s thinking about something. “I did, yeah. There are just a few parts I would like to discuss, if that’s alright with you.” he pauses for a moment. “Am I on speakerphone?” he asks.

Renee clicks off speakerphone and has a short chat with Louis, before they decide that he will pop into the office the following day to speak with her. She wants to have the contract squared away before the weekend, not wanting to risk something happening before Louis signs away his life.

“Unfortunately the contract is between the agency and Mr. Tomlinson, but I can tell you that it simply covers the basics - similar to something you would have signed when agreeing to our management services.”

Harry waves the statement away, running a hand through his still damp hair, falling gently against his forehead. His hair has grown a lot since starting White Eskimo, but that’s one of the only things he has control over. Management controls his relationships, style, and God even sometimes the music they’re allowed to have on their setlist. Harry can feel himself becoming increasingly frustrated as the office walls start to close in around him.

“Well if you don’t need me anymore, I’ll be off.” he states, pushing himself away from the large conference table. Damian has been awfully quiet that morning, and it’s only then that he decides to speak.

“We’ll keep in touch.” he offers lamely, before Harry walks out of the office in a huff.

It’s not like Harry to simply walk around in London by himself. He makes a conscious effort to stay as far away from crowds and unsuspecting fans when he can help it. It’s not that he doesn’t love his fans - he adores them - but sometimes a quick jaunt around the city helps him clear his mind, and he’d rather not stop every few minutes. It’s a rainy day - surprise, there - so not a lot of people are outside. Harry walks through the streets without an umbrella, his hair sopping by the time he’s back in front of Liam’s flat. His feet led him there, and it must be for a good reason.

Harry digs his phone out of his pants pocket and scrolls down to Liam’s number, ringing twice before he answers. “Ey mate.” his voice is groggy, as if he’s been sleeping.

“Are you home right now?” he asks, a raindrop falling down the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, what’s up? Everything ok?” he asks, a bit more alert.

Harry groans, feeling awkward about showing up at Liam’s place. “Care to let me in and hang out for a bit?”

\---

Liam was certainly surprised to see his best friend drenched from the rain and what appeared to be tears when he opened the door. Harry had left his car at the management office and hadn’t thought twice about it, really. The pair of them shared a pot of tea and talked about what had been going on, including the contract and where Louis fell in all of this. Liam assured Harry that Louis was a good guy and sure about what he was doing, and hell, Harry trusted him, but that didn’t help his nerves from getting the best of him.

“I just don’t understand why it has to be this hard. Like, what the fuck did I do in my past life to deserve the Nick situation? AND, and, I can’t find my own actual boyfriend - so I’m playing a part - which I’m thankful for Louis, but I wish that I could just find someone who likes me for me and not my money or name or any of that shit.” Harry word vomits all over Liam’s living room, a pillow hugged to his chest. He bury’s his face in it periodically, groaning into the soft fluff before his tired eyes focus on Liam.

“It’s shit, mate. I can’t imagine being in the same boat.” Liam shakes his head, his own eyes equally as sleepy as Harry’s. “I guess it’s the best we can do for now - enjoy your time with you friends and getting to know Lou, then you can be out and proud and wear rainbow flags wherever you want!” He attempts a joke, which brings a slow smile to Harry’s face.

Before Harry has the chance to answer, the door clicks open and Louis walks into the flat. His hair is wet and matted to his head. He shakes it out before noticing the pair in the front room, his eyes landing easily on Harry and Liam. “Hey” he offers, slipping off his jacket and throwing it across an empty chair. “Lads night without me?” he asks, pulling off a pair of tall wellies and leaving them by the door.

Harry knows he must look like a wreck, an emotional basket-case, even. “Hey Louis.” he offers, a small wave coming from his fingertips.

Liam leans against the back of the sofa and looks up toward his flatmate, giving him a cheeky grin. “Sisters do your makeup again, eh?” he asks, and only then does Harry notice the eyeshadow and lipstick that are stuck onto Louis’ drenched face.

Louis brings hand up to his eye, wiping a bit of the bright blue eyeliner away from his eyes. “Wow, I completely forgot about that. I was rushing back here - got a meeting with my publisher to talk about some new content...thanks for telling me.” Louis nods to the pair before excusing himself upstairs to wash off the remaining bright colors from his face. He comes back down a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of black skinnies and a sweater, a beanie placed carefully over his damp hair.

“Oh I uh, I found this outside as well. Recognize it?” he asks, pulling a black leather bound notebook out of his backpack.

“Shit that’s mine, thanks” Harry’s eyes light up upon seeing the book, not realizing he had lost it.

“You keep a diary?” Louis arches a clever brow, his smile hinting at the corner of his lips.

“Nah mate, that’s where he writes all of his love songs.” Liam chimes in, his laughter floating up into the air.

“Speaking of love songs” Louis starts, shaking his head. “Well no, not love songs, but you know...do you and Zayn want to have some more makeout sessions?” Louis asks, prodding Liam in the side.

“Hey, how did you…” Liam trails off, his eyes landing on Harry who is now smiling sheepishly.

“Don’t hate me.” Harry interrupts. “The important thing is, you have another opportunity on Friday at FIFA. We’re having a sleepover. Louis and I have to get to know one another so think of some games or some shit for that to happen.” A smile spreads across Liam’s face at the mention of games and the duo getting to know each other better.

“I have just the thing.”

\---

Liam is the first to arrive at the guys flat on Friday night, holding a folder full of papers close to his chest. When asked what it was, he won’t answer, but simply giggles to himself. He and Zayn share a pleasant enough greeting, Harry chuckling in the corner as they try to hide their feelings for one another. Just as the four of them are getting settled on the couch, Niall ordering pizza, Harry’s phone dings.

**Louis:** _Running a bit late. I don’t like olives on my pizza!!_

Harry smiles down at his phone and taps a quick text back.

**Harry:** _Perfect, all the olives are mine. See you in a bit!_

The look Harry has on his face doesn’t go unnoticed by Zayn - he sees everything - but he keeps quiet. Zayn knows that Harry is learning to trust again and wants his friendship and fake relationship with Louis to work out so Harry doesn’t have to hide anymore. If smiling at his phone happens once and awhile, Zayn can deal.

Once Louis arrives the party really starts. The pizza comes and the guys start drinking while screaming at the TV and playing FIFA. Niall barely looks away from the telly, but the other guys manage to carry on a conversation throughout the game. Once Niall wins and brandishes his chest everywhere to signify his manliness, the guys settle further into the couch with Pimms and some whiskey.

Liam scurries away from the group, grabbing his folder of papers and handing a package to both Harry and Liam, who look at him expectantly. “We’re going to play a game” Liam announces, slapping Louis’ hand away from his folder, telling him to keep it closed. “Anyone ever played never have I ever?”

With a discarded whiskey bottle on the floor next to the five of them, the questions in the game start to get more intense.

“Never have I ever….had sex with a guy.” Niall says, expecting that everyone else will be taking a shot. He watches the group go around in a circle, Zayn, Liam, and Louis all drinking. His eyes land on Harry whose face is bright red.

“Wait...mate, what? You have to be lying!” Niall nearly shouts, leaning forward.

Harry shakes his head, lips pursed together as he looks down at his legs which are crossed indian-style beneath him.

“Not even Nick?” Liam asks quietly, which elicits a laugh from Harry.

Harry shakes his head and looks back up. “We were ‘waiiiiting’ for the right time.” Harry tells them, using air quotes around the word waiting. “Seems like he was waiting to get paid out - and here I thought we were waiting until after we were engaged, or a special moment…” Harry trails off and takes a shot anyway, licking his lips.

Louis can’t help but focus on Harry’s mouth when that happens, averting his eyes back to anything else. The group had learned a lot about each other tonight. Harry and Louis both had their first kisses with girls name Sarah at school, Zayn had sex in a movie theatre, and at one point in time, apparently Niall had gone down on a girl in an empty classroom.

The group keep playing well into the evening, becoming piss ass drunk as the night wears on. Zayn and Liam scoot closer to one another, with Zayn eventually falling asleep in Liam’s lap. “Best get this one to bed.” He states, urging Zayn to wake up before leading him into his bedroom. It appears that drunk Liam doesn’t try to hide much at all about his feelings for Zayn.

With Niall snoring on the couch, Harry and Louis are left together, their laughter escaping in small bursts as they pull drunk faces at one another.

“Let’s play 20 questions” Louis states. Drunk. He is drunk. Why would he play some dumb game unless he were drunk?

“Ok!” Harry agrees, folding his hands in his lap. “You first.”

Louis grabs Harry’s black notebook and opens to an empty page, looking up as if to ask if it’s ok that he writes in it. Harry nods and Louis scribbles “Hazza” at the top of the page, a smile forming on Harry’s lips.

“Ok, birthday?”

“February 1, 1994. Next.”

“You’re only 21?” Louis asks, running a hand through his hair.

“Is that one of your questions?” Harry arches a brow, wondering if Louis is so silly to waste one like that.

“No no, you’re right. I can do math. Ok sooooo, middle name?”

“Edward.”

Louis snorts. “Edward. Heh, ok. Favorite band?”

“Coldplay. The Beatles….Elvis.” Harry spurts out, eyes watching Louis carefully write down his answers.

“Not a single band, but I guess I’ll accept that response.” he pauses for a moment. “You do interviews all the time, play by the rules, Styles.” he chides.

Harry laughs. “I’ve never done an interview pissed before. Plus, this is more personal. Go on.”

“Favorite song?” Louis looks up expectantly, his bright eyes boring into Harry. It takes a moment for Harry to realize what his question was.

“Uh...Free Falling, John Mayer.”

Louis brows crinkle. “You’re kidding, right? You’re some indie rock God and you like John Mayer. I need to give you some music education.” he shakes his head, but writes down Harry’s response all the same.

\---

Harry doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up and looks at his phone at four in the morning, he has snippets of memories about the evening that led up to this. The last thing he remembers is that Louis was asking him questions and writing in his book, his sloppy scrawl moving quickly across the pages while he intently watched Harry. Rolling over in attempt to remember the rest of the night, Harry’s arm knocks into something intruding in his bed - no, someone.

He looks down and sees the little lump that is Louis under his covers. Ahhh, that’s right. The two of them stayed up talking pretty late after playing 20 questions and sharing yet another bottle of Pimms between them before getting into Harry’s bed to watch one of Harry’s favorite movies that Louis hadn’t seen. Love Actually may be considered a Christmas movie, but Harry watches it year round and managed to convince Louis that he needed to see it that night.

The DVD menu is tinkling the same song over and over before Harry turns it off, silence falling in the room. Louis lets out a snort next to him and rolls over, his arm falling over Harry’s midsection. Harry freezes before gently picking up Louis’ arm and setting it on the bed before situating himself and drifting back to sleep.

\---

Harry wakes up to an empty bed the next morning. He sits up and rubs his eyes, reaching for the Aspirin he keeps on his bedside table for these situations. A long groan comes out of Harry’s mouth when he gets out of bed. He pulls a white v-neck over his head before going out in the hall in search of the bathroom. His feet lead him in the right direction, but an unfamiliar scent distracts him from his task.

The smooth sound of John Lennon’s voice leads Harry into the kitchen, only to find Louis standing in front of the stove and frying up what smells like bacon. Harry stands in the doorway and admires Louis for a moment. He seems so free and loose with everything he does, including the small dance he performs when he flips the meat. Harry stifles back laugher, but not well enough it seems, because Louis turns around.

“See something you like, Styles?” he jokes, repeating Harry’s words upon first meeting him.

A grin pulls at the corner of Harry’s lip. “Ahhhh using my words against me, I see.” he takes a seat at the island, forgetting about his previous plan to use the loo and fall back into bed. “What’s for breakfast?” he asks, tapping his fingers on the cool marble as he hums along to Love Me Do, remembering that this is the last CD he had put into the kitchen player.

Louis turns with a mock bow. “Well sir, if you must know I’m preparing the finest bacon that the kitchen has to offer, along with an omelette of your choice.” he flashes a grin before his eyes travel past Harry.

“Liiiiii, how ya feeling, mate?” Louis asks, both of his brows nearly shooting up into his hairline as he sets down the spatula and flips of the burner. He makes a few short strides to Liam before he pulls at the neck of his shirt. Before Harry realizes what’s going on, Liam is slapping Louis’ grabby hands away.

“G’eroff me!” Liam protests, but is clearly too tired to handle Louis’ scrappy moves.

“Haz! Harry! Our boy Liam here has _looooove_ bites!” he whispers the last two words, snickering as he lets go of Liam’s shirt. “You two don’t waste any time do you?” he turns back to the stove, plating up the omelettes and bacon.

“They’ve only waited about five years…” Harry trails off, accepting the plate from Louis with a thank you and a smile.

“Least I can do for you letting me crash in your bed.” Louis forks a heaping amount of egg in his mouth as Liam regards the pair of them. His eyes land on Louis, a silent question going unanswered as Louis carries on with a different conversation.

“So this wedding today. How do you want me to act? Are we into PDA? Do we like touching? What’s the deal?” Louis takes another bite of his omelette and regards Harry with a thoughtful expression, watching the cogs turn in his head.

Harry shrugs and faces Liam, wondering what he thinks. “I guess we could just act...normal?” he’s at a loss, wondering how close they will have to appear. Harry doesn’t want to lie to his friends, but it’s only for a short time - he has to keep reminding himself of that.

“Play it by ear. You two hit it off as friends, no one will be the wiser.” Liam offers, calming Harry’s nerves for the time being. Liam has that effect on people, helping them relax and be themselves. He shrugs and shoves a slice of bacon into his mouth. “You finish your speech yet, H?”

Louis stops eating and holds up his hands. “Waittttt, wait. Harry, are you the best man or something? Am I the best man’s plus one?” he looks between his two friends, a slow smile growing on Liam’s face.

“If you couldn’t tell, Louis gets a little nervous about being in the limelight.” he chuckles, finishing off his breakfast and gathering up the dishes.

“I’m the best man” Harry finally supplies. “But it’s not the end of the world, you’ll know people there and Cara and Annie are really sweet.” he hands his plate to Liam, but not before admiring his bruised neck. “Gonna have to wear a turtleneck today, mate.” he chuckles, patting Liam’s shoulder.

Louis busies himself with the dishes even though Harry tells him to stop, but he finds it relaxing. Louis didn’t know that Harry was going to be one of the main players at the wedding this afternoon, and didn’t feel confident or competent enough to be his plus one at the moment. “Mind if I pop in the shower?” he quickly asks.

“No problem, there’s one just down the hall...few doors down from my room.”

Taking off without another word, Louis finds his way to the bathroom and shuts the door. Leaning against the door he breathes out a heavy sigh. Not knowing what he’s gotten himself into or what today is going to be like, Louis shakes his head and strips off his clothing. He steps into the shower and lets the warm water was over him, ridding him of the anxiety he previously felt.

\---

The group get ready mostly in silence, Harry pacing back and forth across the living room, nearly wearing a path in the dark wood flooring. He’s going over his speech in his head, but can’t seem to get it right. Harry usually has a knack for putting the right words together at the last minute, but a wedding doesn’t seem like the place to do that. With a heavy sigh Harry opens his phone and scrolls through Twitter, seeing a mention that he didn’t know he previously had

Attached is a photo of Louis from earlier this morning, when Harry was getting dressed. He laughs before favoriting the tweet, shaking his head at the thought of the pair of them getting ready together.

“Hey, I’m going to head to Cara’s - I have to be in pictures and such. Meet ya there?” Harry calls through the bathroom door, hearing low chuckles on the other end.

“Yeah mate, just primping your boyfriend!” Liam calls back, causing Harry to blush. Luckily no one is there to see it.

\---

The wedding ceremony is simply beautiful. Harry is so focused on doing all of his duties that he doesn’t have time to look for any of his friends, let alone Louis. It isn’t until after photos are taken and the cocktail party starts that Harry manages to find them. He walks up to the bar, ready to order a whiskey ginger ale when he spots Ed and Liam standing with….Louis. Louis who is in a dark blue suit, hair quiffed up perfectly, complete with brown accessories. Harry lets his eyes wander over the man for a moment before ordering his drink. He clutches the liquid courage before walking over to the group.

“Starting already, mate? Didn’t have enough Pimms last night?” Liam laughs, bringing Harry into a hug. Harry laughs at his friend before turning to Ed.

“Long time no see, Sheeran. You ready for our debut tonight?” he smiles, pulling Ed into a tight hug that lasts a bit longer than the one with Liam. The pair have been working closely on a surprise for Cara and her now wife, sharing a grin at their secret project.

“Yeah man, I thought you would have mentioned something about your comedian boyfriend by now.” Ed elbows Harry in the ribs, chuckling lightly to himself. “Really though, don’t tell him, but he’s pretty fucking funny.” Ed states, taking a sip of his beer and holding it up to cheers Louis who’s standing right across from them.

Harry suddenly realizes he hasn’t greeted Louis yet, who’s supposed to be his boyfriend of at least six months. Surely they would have said something to one another, or at least hugged. Louis seems to notice Harry’s anxiety and reaches out to him, grabbing Harry’s hand and pulling him up close. “I don’t even get a greeting, darling?” Louis asks, sending a secret smile to Harry as he wraps an arm around his waist. They fit nicely together while the group talk with one another, Louis leaning into Harry.

The night passes quickly, the drinking and quick dancing causing the guys to forget what time it was. It isn’t until the DJ is calling for Harry that they realize it’s time for their surprise. Harry excuses himself from the group, walking quickly over to the DJ booth and taking the mike from the bearded fellow. He takes a deep breath.

“Heeeey everyone. I’m Harry, one of Cara’s best friends...best man, even.” his chuckle causes other guests to smile. Harry spots Louis in the crowd, listening intently, an arch to his brow as if he’ asking him to continue. “Well, I’m kind of a git with words, so I’ve prepared something a little different.” He pauses, bringing the microphone and a stool out to the front of the booth. Ed saunters up next to him, guitar in hand. “I called in a favor. Consider this a gift from the two of us.” Harry smiles over at Cara and Annie, a blush rising to his cheeks before he situates himself on the stool, glancing over to Ed who starts to strum a bit.

The song is a true statement of the love that the two have for one another, tears swelling up into Cara’s eyes by the time Harry is finished. With a short bow, Harry accepts a round of applause before jogging over to the head table.

“That was beautiful.” Cara tells him, hugging him tightly.

“Anything for you.” Harry breathes, bringing Annie into a hug as well.

Cara smiles at the pair, poking Harry in the chest. “Don’t think we haven’t noticed the new boy toy.” she winks, sending Harry off with a wave as he goes to find Liam and Louis. They’re an easy pair to spot, dancing stupidly with one another during a slow song, other dancers scoffing at them.

“Can I cut in?” he asks, dancing up next to them. Liam smiles and steps away as if Harry were serious. At Harry’s protest Liam shakes his head. “Nah, you two should at least dance once tonight.” he smiles before turning on his heel.

“May I?” Louis asks, offering his hand for Harry to take.

Harry laughs through his smile, allowing Louis to pull him a bit closer as the song starts. He immediately recognizes it as the late 90’s hit by Sixpence None The Richer. He tightens up at the lyrics to the song, Louis’ small snickers floating up to his ears.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asks, adjusting his hands on his dancing partner.

Louis takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck, flashing him a sly grin. “Oh, nothing, Styles. Just dance with me. I am your boyfriend after all.” They sway to the song, Louis copying off of Harry’s moves as they float around the dance floor. When the song is wrapping up, Louis breaks their silence once more.

“So, are you going to or what?” he asks, his heartbeat jumping the slightest bit.

Green eyes meet blue and Louis smiles as he plays with the hair at the base of Harry’s neck. “Do...what?” Harry, asks, distracted by the small but familiar gesture.

Louis gaze stays glued on Harry’s, the light from the candles dancing across his cheekbones. He begins to hum the song, finally singing _“...Silver moon's sparkling, so kiss me.”_ he hums along to the song. _“Kiss me…”_

Without thinking twice about it, Harry removes his hand from Louis’ hip and brings it up to his face. Harry cups Louis’ face in his hand, his thumb absently grazing over his cheekbone as Louis’ breath hitches in his throat. That’s all Harry needs before he turns his head to the side, bringing their lips together just as the song draws to a close.

Harry really is free falling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie, this chapter is full of lovely, lovely fluff. I promise the angst is coming, but fluff is so wonderful sometimes <3
> 
> Posting early because I won't have time in the morning, enjoy loves!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“I am always late on principle, my principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.”_  
>  \- Oscar Wilde

After the chaste kiss at Cara’s wedding, not much had changed between Harry and Louis. Harry had played it off as Louis being very into his acting that night, and it appeared to work well - as the majority of Harry’s friends at the wedding harassed him about Louis for at least a few weeks after their kiss. The group of guys had spent a lot of time hanging out, mostly on the weekends when Louis and Liam were free and not exhausted from work. Zayn, Niall, and Harry spent the majority of their time in the studio, finishing up the next album and working on promotional things, as this was going to be their biggest release thus far.

Time flew by and before anyone knew what day it was, Christmas was a week away. The guys were huddled on the couch, Niall and Harry snickering about a joke that Harry had just made when Louis spoke up.

“What’s everyone doing for the holiday?” he asked, picking up the remote and clicking through the channels. Louis had been around so much lately that he started to make himself at home, and he certainly fit right in with the rest of them.

“Home I suppose, wanna drive up together, H?” Liam answers, but turns a question to Harry as they’re from the same town.

Harry runs a hand through his hair nervously. He hasn’t talked to his mum in a while, but he did tell her about Louis - who she was quite eager to meet. She and Gemma had been texting him about bringing Louis for Christmas, Gemma sending out a warning with hers as well.

“Uh well, mum wants me to come home...and wants to meet Lou.” Harry mentioned, venturing a glance toward his not so real, but oh so adorable boyfriend.

Louis was smiling ear to ear, a cheeky grin that Harry knew hid something. “Ah, been tellin’ your mum about me, ‘av ya?” his smile grows wider, if that’s possible. He thought for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “I have to be home for my birthday on Christmas Eve, but…” he trailed off, seeing the look on Harry’s face. “What?”

“Your birthday is next week?”

“Yeah mate, not expecting any gifts, I usually get those combo gifts, ya know? The troubles of having your birthday right before Christmas.” Louis purses his lips together, remembering how he had grown up with basically no separation between his birthday and Christmas. He wasn’t bitter though, he knew his mum did the best she could.

A light chuckle came from the other side of the room where Zayn was quietly perched with Liam. “If you think curly over here is going to let you have a birthday with no gift, you’d be quite mistaken.” he shakes his head, returning to his whispered conversation with Liam.

“We can do Christmas Eve at my mums, then go to yours for the day?” Louis offered, arching a brow in Harry’s direction. The pair hadn’t spent much time alone since the wedding, and Harry wanted to keep it that way. It got too confusing for him when they were alone and he had too much time to focus on Louis and how great he was.

“My mum will be thrilled” Harry told the group, a blush rising to his face.

“Can I come too? Your mum is hot.” Niall added quietly, earning a slap across the back of the head from Harry.

“Twat.” Harry muttered.

“Ey mate, you look exactly like her...so that’s a compliment!” Liam offered, snuggling closer into Zayn if that was possible.

Harry shook his head and waved the comment away, his eyes catching Louis. He was looking at Harry with a curious look on his face. Harry couldn’t help but notice how his smile caused the corners of his eyes to wrinkle up, and his wink sent a chill down Harry’s spine.

\---

There was a lot of snow.

Louis hated snow.

More than hating snow, he hated driving in snow.

He pulled out of the academic building at Cambridge, his speaking engagement had always been scheduled for the morning of his birthday - Christmas Eve of all days. He understood why they wanted it around the holidays, to remind the community what they had and what they were working toward. The holidays were hard for a lot of LGBT people, let alone youth who had been separated from their families at university. Louis wanted nothing more than to bring a sense of peace to the youth during this time, and he thought he managed to do that with his presentation.

The Q&A went well, with Louis spouting off jokes when appropriate, but it went longer than expected. He didn’t like cutting people off when they had to ask something, least of all when they were people who needed his support the most. When Louis made it to his car, he flipped on the heat and opened his phone, cursing at what time it was. He was going to be late.

_Hey mum, looks like Harry might beat me there with the weather and all. Can you keep the girls away from him?_

He sent the text and dialed Harry’s number, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

“Birthday boy! How was the talk?” Harry answered, peppy as ever.

Louis couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.

“It went really well I think. There was this mum with her eight year old son and she was so sweet and asking all sorts of questions about knowing when you’re gay and…” Louis rambled on for a few more moments about the boy and his mother before cutting himself off. “Ah but you don’t want to hear about that, never mind.”

“Sure I do, that’s really great of you, Lou.” Harry’s voice was calm and even, pricking up the hairs on Louis’ neck.

“I’ll tell ya later. Anyway, I just got done - really late, I know. So uh….you’re gonna get to Donny before me.” He and Harry had agreed to drive separately as Louis was going to be at Cambridge and even though Harry had offered to pick him up, he didn’t want to mess with his schedule.

Harry chuckled over the phone, his voice like a melody. “It’s alright, Lou. No worries. I’m sure I can pester your sisters into showing me old embarrassing photos of you.”

Louis let out a groan and assured Harry that he was sure that was the case before hanging up. Less than a minute later, Louis received a notification saying he had been tagged in a photo on Twitter.

Louis looks down at the picture that’s attached and smiles to himself, noticing Harry’s slippers toward the bottom of the photo. He makes a mental note to make fun of him for those atrocious things when he sees him in a few hours.

\---

Harry was really early.

He had a tendency to be a bit earlier than everyone else in general, but this was something else. He had left early enough to give himself plenty of time with the snowfall, but seeing as his car performed quite well in the snow, he apparently didn’t need the extra time. He looked down at his GPS and up to the house off to his left. It was an average sized home, cute with red shutters and the snow falling around. He cut off the engine and shuffled through his phone to find Louis’ number before he was distracted by two tiny humans who were running up to the car.

“Louis! Louis!” the pair shouted when Harry opened the door to his Range Rover. The twins faces fell in unison as they noticed that the stranger in front of them was not their brother.

“Hi there, I’m Harry.” he offered, squatting down next to them and holding out his hand for a shake.

The pair looked at him cautiously before taking his fingers and shaking them like mad. Harry was laughing to himself before Lottie came outside to save him.

“Twins whatta ya doing outside, get in there.” she pointed back toward the home, shuffling the two small ones in that general direction. Lottie looked up and regarded Harry with a bit of curiosity before grabbing one of his bags from the backseat. Harry started to protest, but stopped at the look on Lottie’s face.

“Mum’s not home right now, which is perfect, because we’re going to have a bit of a chat - you and I.” she stated, pushing the front door open and holding it for Harry to step inside.

The warmth from the home was overwhelming. Not the temperature, but the activity and the general sense of homeliness. Even though Harry knew he was going to get scolded or something of the like, he instantly relaxed upon stepping inside. Harry already loved the way this place made him feel.

“C’mon then, this way.” Lottie went up the stairs and turned the corner into what Harry could only assume was Louis’ room when he lived there. The walls were covered in band posters, a rainbow flag, and photos of Louis with all of his mates. A bookshelf of literary classics stood in the corner, along with the books Louis himself had written over the years.

Harry heard the door shut behind them.

“I’m glad you’re here before my brother.” she sighed, sitting on the bed and crossing her legs.

“Yeah?” Harry offered lamely, running a nervous hand through his hair.

“I think we have some things to chat about.”

\----

After a long and snowy drive, Louis was relieved to finally turn down the street he had lived on since he was a baby. Not much had changed on the outside, but his family was a much different place. He wasn’t quiet about his home life, and had in fact been very vocal about his parents split and how his mother was the best person on the face of the Earth. He knew that she deserved everything and then some, and wanted to be the one to give it to her. Louis pulled up into the drive, passing Harry’s Range Rover, that he now noticed had a fair amount of snow on it already. How long had Harry been there?

Louis got out of his car and pulled his scarf tightly around his neck, now fully covered, with only his eyes visible. He walked up to the door and let himself inside, something seeming off as he walked in. The living room was empty, and the house was quiet except for some light talking in the kitchen. Louis quietly slipped off his boots and hung up his coat on the rack, venturing further into the house.

The scene that was unfolding in front of him was far from what he expected. Sister’s harassing Harry? Sure, he expected that. Harry cowering in the corner? Also fairly believable. What was in front of him, however, were all of his siblings sitting patiently at the kitchen table, while Harry…what was he doing?

Harry was standing in the kitchen, wooden spoon stirring some sort of sauce while the other was trying to signal something to his sisters that were playing a game with him.

“Uhhhh...giraffe!” Felicitie shouted, swinging her hands up in the air when he shook his head no, still silent.

“How about...what’s that animal, an aardvark!” Lottie asked, Louis attention drawn to the oldest of his kid sisters, who he was surprised was playing with them at all.

Harry eyed Louis for a quick moment before turning back to the girls, making another strange signal with his arm out in front of his face. They were playing charades and Harry was the actor - terrible, at that. Louis leaned against the wall, watching him for a moment as the girls look dumbfounded. Harry knew how to fit in with them easily, and Louis found himself oddly mesmerized by the man’s ability to do that.

“Elephant!” Louis said triumphantly, punching the air when Harry nodded furiously.

“LOUIS!” his sisters yelled in unison after they finally noticed he was there.

Louis smiled at Harry and threw his scarf at Felicite to tease her. “So what do I win? What are you lot playing for?” He knew this wasn’t just a fun game, his sisters were always in it for something.

“Well it’s kind of a you-call-it situation.” Daisy explained. “We’ve basically all won signed photos of Harry, but I’m sure you have plenty of those…” she trailed off, looking between the pair.

“Oi, your swindling my boyfriend for pictures of his oh so famous face?” he asked, pretending to be outraged at the thought. Harry had slipped back to his saucepan in the meantime.

“You win a kiss!” Daisy finally decided, a light blush rising to her face as she spoke. Thankfully Louis was already rosy from the cold.

Back near the stove, Harry faltered with the pot a bit at the mention of a kiss, but set the spoon down and walked back toward the girls. “I thought the winner had to decide?” he asked, arching a brow.

“They do.” Louis confirmed, taking a few steps toward the lanky elephant. “I think I win a kiss.” Louis stated, biting back the smile that threatened to come across his entire face.

Harry glanced at the girls before giving Daisy a wink, pulling in Louis for a quick peck on the lips. The girls cooed and Harry, still close to Louis whispered. “Maybe we can practice that a bit later.”

\----

Louis eventually found out from his sister’s that their mum had been held up at work that morning and hadn’t been able to get back to start dinner. When Harry found out, he apparently set to work on what Jay had in the fridge to cook up for dinner. Louis found him back in the kitchen after settling in the girls with a Christmas movie.

“Hey” Louis came up behind Harry, on his tip toes to look at what Harry was doing at the stove.

Harry nearly jumped, lost in thought about being at Louis’ home and meeting all of his family - wondering what exactly he was doing there.

“Hey” he replied, pulling on oven mitts and checking the ham he had put into the oven.

Louis watched him carefully, feeling like there was something off with Harry. Sure he hadn’t known him that long, but it seemed strange that he wasn’t his bubbly self.

“Thanks for doing this, you really didn’t -” Louis was cut off by the sudden pressure against his lips. Harry had whipped around and locked lips with him very unexpectedly.

Harry didn’t question anything in that moment, his hands moving up Louis’ back and into his hair. Louis mirrored him, hands trailing along Harry’s midsection and up to the long hair that he had wanted to touch for so long. Their kiss deepened, Harry fearful that he wouldn’t be able to breathe when they separated. He didn’t have to worry about that, however, because a click of the back door signaled that Jay was back from work. The pair sprung apart at the noise.

“Hi Louis!” She said upon seeing her son, setting her bag down and looking between the boys in front of her. Jay clearly knew something had been going on before she had interrupted. “And you must be Harry, yeah?” she asked, not waiting for a response before dragging Harry into one of the best hugs - aside from his mums - that he had ever had. She pulled away, leaving a quick kiss on Harry’s cheek.

“Did Lottie start supper like I asked her to?” Jay asked, glancing over to the oven, that knowing grin still pasted on her face.

“What?” Louis asked, his eyes now on Harry.

Harry shrugged and a shy smile flitted across his face. “I uh...actually I started it for you. Lottie was scared she would mess it up, and I love cooking.” Harry explained as Jay opened the oven and made an appreciative sound at the smell of the food.

“So sweet of you, love.”

\---

The rest of the night went smoothly, with everyone praising Harry about his cooking abilities. Louis swoons over the ham and mash that he whipped up, constantly asking him if he’s some world renowned chef on the side. Harry thinks he gets on with everyone fairly well, and after his earlier conversation with Lottie, he knows that he’s at least on her good side now. Winning over the oldest of the siblings is always a good way to get in with the rest of the family.

Harry heads up to the room he was shown to earlier that day while Louis tucks in his little sisters. He can’t help but think how good Louis is with children when he sits on the bed, playing with the phone in between his hands. He knows he shouldn’t want to know more about Louis due to their arrangement, and certainly Louis couldn’t feel the same way about him….but that kiss. He can’t help but let his mind wander to the kiss, when suddenly his phone is buzzing, interrupting his thoughts.

“Hey mate, Happy almost Christmas!” Liam greets him, practically smiling through the phone.

“Yeah, you too.” Harry says simply, laying back on the bed and letting out a sigh.

Liam clears his throat. “Is everything ok? You sound off.”

“Ah...Louis’ house has been wonderful…” he trails off, sitting up on the bed again. “I just...maybe this was a bad idea.” Harry tells him, wondering if Liam will catch on or not.

“Lottie giving you the side eye?” he asks with a chuckle.

“No I mean...this arrangement. I...maybe I just…” Harry trails off, a quiet blush rising to his cheeks.

“Did something happen?”

Harry bites his lip and releases it, hearing a door close down the hall and another open. “I...well…” he begins, and starts to tell Liam about everything that’s been going on: how Harry thought they kissed at Cara’s wedding for a show, how it’s happened again, and how now Harry’s feelings are getting involved and he’s scared to keep it up.

Liam lets out a sigh, his voice coming through quieter than it was before. “Have you thought about talking to Louis about all of this, how you’re feeling I mean?”

“And make it awkward? No! I think he’s just trying to play it up, you know? Get us comfortable before everyone knows we’re together and...I don’t know Liam, please don’t say anything.” he asks, Liam agreeing before they hang up the phone.

It doesn’t take much time at all before Louis comes in the room, his eyes tired from the long day he’s had. He’s already in his pajamas - an old t-shirt and flannel bottoms. “Care to cuddle?” he asks with a smile, pushing Harry lightly aside in order to get into the bed.

Harry scoffs and his mood from speaking with Liam seems to fade away. “Hey wait, you didn’t open your birthday gifts yet.” Harry chides, pulling up two wrapped gifts and placing them on Louis’ lap. “I didn’t give them to you earlier because I didn’t want to make it weird.”

Louis had told Harry about his family and the lack of celebrating Louis’ birthday separately. It was by no means a mean family tradition, but when he was younger they didn’t have any extra money or things - and Louis wanted his sisters to have a better Christmas, even if it meant sacrificing a bit of his birthday.

A smile formed on Louis’ face as he tore open the birthday paper that was wrapped around a flat and light gift. He held up a black leather-bound notebook after opening it, his gaze settling on Harry. “Hazza, you really didn’t have to…” he ran his fingers across the smooth surface, noticing a stamped LT in the upper right corner.

“I saw that yours was shit when you came to interview me - that, and it was almost full. Thought it was time for another one, ya know?” Harry said by way of explanation, having a very similar book for his lyric writing. “Go on, open the other one. You’ll think it’s kind of funny...I hope.” Harry wrung his hands together as Louis tore open the paper on the second gift.

Looking down at the black box, Louis carefully opens the lid, displaying a [silver faced watch](https://www.fossil.com/us/en/watches/mens-watches/leather/townsman-automatic-black-leather-watch-sku-me3084p.html) with a black band, it’s accents in a rose gold. Louis was about to protest when Harry took the box from him and flipped the watch around, giving it back to Louis to read the inscription.

“I am always late on principle, my principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.” Louis read, looking curiously over to Harry before a grin spread across his face. “You twat. This is because I was late to you interview?” he asked, nudging Harry in the ribs before stifling back his laughter.

Harry smiled and pulled back the covers, settling himself into the bed next to Louis. “It’s also one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes, quite relevant I think.”

“Ah shaddup.” Louis commented, reaching for the light and flipping it off, leaving the pair enveloped in darkness. They lay there for a few minutes in silence, both knowing the other is still awake.

“Hey” Louis suddenly says, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Yeah” Harry asks, turning on his side, his eyes adjusting to Louis in the dark.

“I’ve been thinking…” Louis pauses, taking a breath for a moment. “Maybe we should practice our PDA skills, you know? I mean the media will want to see you be all in love with me and everything. So why not now, when it’s safe?” he asks, his words hanging in the silence as Harry considers his question.

It makes sense, of course, but Harry’s heart has dropped into his stomach at both the thought of kissing Louis for an extended period of time, as well as knowing it’s only for show. “Yeah we should…”

“Perfect” Louis breathes, barely giving Harry time to finish his thought before his encapsulated by Louis’ lips. They meet together in the middle of his bed, Louis using his tongue against Harry’s closed lips, as if asking for permission. The kiss deepens, Harry pulling Louis on top of him for a better view and angle for their make out session to continue. Harry sighs into Louis, thinking that if this continues much longer he’s going to be a wreck. Louis chuckles against his lips, pulling back for a just a moment to admire Harry. His hair is sprawled out against the pillow, cheeks flushed and eyes blazing before Louis descends once more.

\---

Louis wakes up first, quickly remembering last nights events. He knew he should have stopped the snogging session when he did, but the look on Harry’s face looked positively heartbroken when he had rolled away. Louis stretched his arms above his head before gently moving the sleeping Harry and slipping out of the bed. He scribbled a note on a piece of paper and left it on his pillow for Harry to find before heading downstairs.

The house was deathly quiet, and Louis realized upon checking the clock on the stove that he knew why. It was barely seven in the morning and he was wide awake. With a quick peek outside, Louis grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around himself before starting tea and breakfast.

Harry woke up with a start, forgetting where he was or what day it was. Hand touched up to his lips, Harry had sudden surges of memory from last night. Louis’ bare chest on his, the way his lips left marks on Harry’s skin. Harry shuddered and turned next to him. Where was Louis? He spotted the note left on his pillow and immediately took a picture of it, posting it to his Instagram page:

 

 

“No one calls me an ass on Christmas morning” Harry muttered to himself with a smile, dragging himself from the warmth of the bed.

Louis nearly jumped at the sight of Harry in the doorway to the kitchen. He was all mussed up from sleep, hair in every direction as he pulled a jumper over his head. “Whatta ya doing?” he asks Louis, stepping a bit closer to the stove. “I smelled burning…” he trails off, taking the spatula from Louis who tries to protest.

“I was trying to make breakfast before everyone woke up.” Louis explains, but Harry waves his words away, trashing the bacon in order to start over again.

“Trying, being the key word.” Harry jokes, taking a sip from Louis’ cup of freshly made tea. He hummed with delight at the taste, sending a chill down Louis’ spine at the sound of his hums in something other than his bedroom.

The pair spend the next thirty minutes making breakfast, eggs and the like, before waking up the rest of the family. They eat quickly, the girls eager to open the gifts under the tree. Louis notices some oddly wrapped gifts in different paper, but doesn’t say anything as everyone is handed their respective presents.

Lottie nearly screams as she opens her surprise present, a smile widening across Harry’s face as the rest of the girls open their gifts, that are similar to their eldest sisters.

“MEET AND GREET PASSES to see...FREAKING...uggggh” Lottie has trouble speaking, enveloping Harry in a breath stopping hug.

“What’d he get ya?” Louis finally asks, his mouth gaping from yet another surprise Harry has managed to pull off.

“Just some tickets, called in a favor.” Harry explains, shrugging his shoulders. Louis nabbed the pair of tickets from Lottie and looked them over. “Shit, these are midfield at the Donny game! And meeting the squad…” he trails off, handing the tickets back to Lottie before looking at the rest of the girls who received similar presents.

After the rest of the gifts were open and the volume inside the home died down, Harry and Louis set to packing up to leave for Holmes Chapel. They gathered their belongings, Harry carefully folding his clothes while Louis shoved his wherever they would fit. They had just said their goodbyes and were about to walk out the door when Jay came running in, wrapped in her robe and holding out a floppy...something.

“Harry dear, I forgot to give this to you this morning. I’m sorry it’s not wrapped - but last minute, you know? Louis here fails to tell us anything with much warning…” she arched a brow at him before turning her soft gaze back to Harry, who was positively beaming.

“I love it” he said simply, pulling the hand made knit beanie up over his head and turning to Louis for approval.

“Looks great Haz, and mum of course.” Louis looks at Harry for an extended moment, his long hair cascading over his shoulders, smile pressing dimples into his cheeks as he hugs Jay once more before they leave.

“Love you, mum!”  Louis calls.

“Safe travels, boys!” She calls back, Harry and Louis getting into Harry’s Range Rover, with intent of getting Louis’ car on the way back to London.

\---

Harry and Louis talk lightly during the 2 hour trip to Holmes Chapel. At this point Harry thinks he can’t learn any more about Louis, but he proves him wrong of course. Louis divulges that he’s been out since he was young, his mom was great about it, and his dad has always been a right twat. Harry sympathizes with Louis, though he’s grateful that he’s had a different reaction from his own parents. He asks Louis about his upcoming novel, what all he’s working on, and if it’s almost finished.

“You know...I don’t really have anything solid yet.” he runs a hand through his hair, voice dropping low. "Got a contract due out next year, but no writing..."

They’re about 20 minutes from Harry’s childhood home, and suddenly an idea strikes him. “In the mood for some motivation?” he asks Louis, keeping his eyes on the snowy road ahead of him.

Louis pauses, glancing over to Harry. “Sure, I’ll take anything.”

A smile erupts like a small volcano on Harry’s face as he continues the drive in silence. A few minutes later, he pulls off the main road, into a parking lot that backs up to a forest. Louis looks around, only seeing snow and trees when he rolls down the window. A cold gush of air bursts through the car, startling him.

“What is this place?” he asks, opening the door and wrapping his coat tighter around his small frame.

Harry locks up the car and meets Louis on the passenger's side, tugging his new hat down over his ears. “My mum wanted to call it my think tank, but it doesn’t have a name.” Harry said simply, taking Louis’ gloved hand in his own and leading him down a snow covered path. Once the pair had passed through the thick trees, the forest opened up to a clearing looking out over a frozen pond. There was a single folding chair and a bucket standing in front of them.

“It’s still here!” Harry breathed, dragging Louis forward and wiping off the chair with his hand, displaying the logo of one of his favorite football teams. “This is wild.” Harry commented, looking up at Louis, his eyes nearly dancing.

“This yours?” Louis asked, gesturing toward the chair and the random metal bucket.

Harry’s smile deepened. “Yeah, yeah sit down.” he ushered Louis into the rickety chair, the old metal groaning under the small man’s weight. “I uh...I used to come here a lot when I needed motivation, to think, lyrics, or just go over stuff in my head. I would write down ideas or things that were bothering me and if they were shit I'd throw them in that bucket - light it on fire.” Harry explained, his hands motioning around as if he were telling an animated story. He was clearly excited about showing it to Louis.

“It’s beautiful out here, I can see why you chose it.” Louis smiles up at Harry who is still beaming. “How does it work?” he laughs, looking back out across the land, fingers folding around the arms of the chair.

Harry goes around to the back of the chair and leans over Louis, resting his chin on the top of his head. “What you do” he whispers, hands resting on Louis’ shoulders. “Is look out there, and just let your thoughts take you wherever they want. The only problem is, you have to be by yourself. I’ll leave you here, and just come back when you’re done.” Harry reaches in his back pocket, handing Louis a small red lighter with his initials written on it in black sharpie.

Louis is silent for a moment, but offers Harry a quick smile. “I’ll see you in a bit, unless I freeze my arse off first.”

“I’ll check on you if you’re not back in thirty.” Harry promises, leaving a small kiss atop Louis’ head.

\---

Just as Harry was starting to get worried about Louis, he came out from the forest, a sleepy smile on his face. They didn’t get too much sleep the night before, but Louis seemed happy all the same. Harry stood up from sitting on the curb, clicking the car door open and holding it for Louis.

“Good thoughts?” Harry asked, Louis replying with only a nod. “Find your muse?” he asked, slipping into the car next to him and starting the engine.

Louis turns his bright blue gaze to Harry, nodding just the slightest bit. “Turns out I’ve had it for a while, but that helped. Thank you.”

\---

Dinner at Harry’s goes just as well as at Louis’ home, Anne welcoming Louis with open arms. She and Gemma are the picture of a polite family, aside from some of Gemma’s gazes directed at a certain boyfriend that Harry has brought home. The four of them share a pleasant conversation over their Christmas dinner, Anne running back to the kitchen to get dessert. When she comes out, Louis is surprised by what he sees.

A chocolate cake is decorated in rainbow sprinkles, with white icing displaying the words “Happy Birthday Louis!” in a cursive handwriting that had to be Anne’s.

Louis was rendered speechless for a moment, eventually thanking Harry’s mum for doing something so sweet.

“Oh no problem, love” she paused to light the candles. “Consider it a belated birthday present, since Harry only just told us about it last night!” she sent a glanced toward Harry that signaled she would have appreciated a bit more notice.

After their stomachs were full of delicious cake, Harry went outside to grab the rest of his gifts for his family. Louis, Gemma, and Anne settled into the couch in front of the fire, Anne explaining that they had a tradition of watching White Christmas while they opened presents.

“Did you and Harry see anything around Holmes Chapel today, or just come straight here?” Anne asked, grabbing the gifts for her children, but setting one in front of Louis. “It’s nothing fancy, love.” she told him with a smile, seeing the surprised look on his face.

“We went to, well...I’m not sure what it’s called, but Harry’s thinking spot I guess?” Louis offers.

Anne stops what she’s doing, setting a gift next to Louis’, where Harry will be sitting. He can tell already that it’s something special, based on the way she handles it. “He took you there?” she asks tentatively.

“Yeah he told me what to do, you know - his little ritual, then left me there to think.” Louis explains as if she’s heard it before. Anne looks as if she’s going to say something, but stops short when the door open and Harry comes inside with a gust of snowy wind.

They all open their gifts, Harry getting a new guitar strap from Gemma, a cross necklace from his mum, and a small set of pens from Louis. “I know it’s not much but -”

Harry turns over the package in his hand, noticing that they’re the same ones that Louis uses. “Shush up, it’s perfect.” He smiles.

Louis puts away his new pair of gloves from Anne - surely their mum’s were on the same wavelength, before opening his gift from Harry, which oddly is another package of pens. Louis smiles down at them and shakes his head, wondering how they both managed to get each other the same gift.

“Wow, two peas in a pod.” Gemma comments, arching a brow at Harry before she flips on the DVD of White Christmas.

The four of them watch the movie with a bowl of popcorn shared between them, the fire blazing as Louis falls asleep gently on Harry’s shoulder.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it._  
>  \- Oscar Wilde

Harry wakes up to an empty bed again.

He yawns and stretches his arms above his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He drags himself out of bed, pulling socks onto his feet before heading downstairs. He’s surprised with what he’s met with, and even more with the reaction of the others seeing him.

Gemma and Louis are sitting at the table huddled together and snickering. They look up when Harry walks in, suddenly silent and studying their hands as if they’re very interesting.

“Hazza” Louis starts, running a hand through his messy brown hair. “Nice of you to finally join us, sleepyhead.” He chides, a small smile forming on his angular face.

Harry looks between them curiously, eyes lingering on his sister’s watchful stare. She’s never been one to hang out with any of Harry’s friend, let alone his fake boyfriend who prior to this week she had been determined to hate.  Harry shakes his head at his partner in crime before walking over to the fridge and rummaging through it’s contents.

“Where’s mum?” he asks, eyes on Gemma.

“Went out to the bakery to get some of your favorites.”

A thoughtful hum comes from Harry’s mouth just as Anne comes home, packages overflowing in her arms. Harry shuffles to the door to help her, taking a few boxes from her outstretched hands.

“What all did you get?” Harry asks, setting the boxes on the kitchen table and starting to open them. Anne quickly slaps his hands away, telling Harry to move aside so she can show them something she’s gotten for the two of them.

“Two of who?” Gemma asks, a singsong voice coming from her mouth.

“Two of...oh.” Harry says, his mum brandishing two jumpers she’s apparently ordered online. The one she holds out to Harry says Marry Fucking Christmas, and Louis’ is a quote from the Home Alone movie. The smile gracing his mother’s face is enough to tell him to put the jumper on without another word.

Louis’ eyes are huge, pulling the green jumper over his head, mussing up his hair even more. “I love this!” he tells Anne, his smile growing even deeper across his face. “Yours is epic too, love.” Louis pulls the hem of Harry’s jumper down near his hips, eliciting a blush from the younger man.

Anne is positively beaming when the two of them are standing next to one another. Harry thinks he might see a bit of a tear forming in her eyes, but quickly pushes the thought from his mind. He can’t imagine the hurt his mother will feel when she finds out this was all a lie, and when his face falls from the thought - she clearly sees it.

“Everything ok, H?” she asks, drawing Louis’ attention to Harry’s face as well.

Louis nudges Harry in the side, sending him a questioning look. Harry shakes his head and pulls his phone from his pocket, handing it to his mum.

“Hey mum, take a picture, yeah? Louis and I need to document our first Christmas - and best matching presents.” Harry flashes her a smile, and her face returns to it’s normal happy self.

(thanks to Louis2k15 for letting me use this photo!)

\---

The next few days pass without incident, Niall running around in circles as he plans what he’s dubbed “the most epic New Years party of all time.” He pulls together the guest list, drinks, and games - drinking games of course - that they’re going to play.

Harry notice’s Louis’ face change as Niall goes on and on about the party and how awesome it’s going to be. The others are excited as well - all of the boys talking about their New Years resolutions and the kisses they’re going to share with whomever they like.

“Looks like I won’t have a kiss this midnight.” Louis grumbles, tapping out an e-mail on his phone. Louis has been working hard with his publishing company, and they’ve apparently decided he needs to go to the states for his new book promotion on the 29th, not returning until the 8th.

Harry pulls Louis into a side hug as he pours another cup of tea. “Ah, s’alright love, I’ll save you one.” he snickers before kissing the top of Louis’ head and releasing him. Harry watches as Louis shuffles about the apartment, shrugging on a cardigan before he says goodbye to the boys - heading off for what must be another meeting with what Harry is now calling "Louis' book people."

Once the door clicks shut, Niall lets out a low whistle, ripping Harry’s attention from the door.

“What?” he asks, slipping next to his friends on the couch.

“Seems like someeeebody is getting a little attached to their beard…” Niall trails off, Liam elbowing him in the stomach.

Harry shakes his head and looks down into his cup of tea, milk swirling about in the brown liquid. “Yeah I know, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“We didn’t say that, mate. I feel like you two are a good match.” Zayn offers from the recliner, Liam perched next to him, per usual.

“It’s idiodic. Why do I always fall for people who are unavailable or fucking twats.” his voice lowered, thinking of Nick and his ploy to sell him out.

Niall slings an arm protectively around his friend's’ shoulders. “You gonna tell him, or what?”

“Nah, I don’t want to mess shit up. He signed a contract. I can’t risk him leaving after I scare him away - effectively messing with the whole process, and pissing off management.

“Fuck management.” Niall squeezes his shoulder.

\---

Niall has really gone all out with the New Years party that he’s hosting at the joint apartment. Everyone makes an appearance throughout the night - Cara, Ed, Anne, to name a few - and Niall is positively beaming. Everyone has been drinking for hours, having fun and chatting amongst each other. Harry is having a good time, but one thing seems to be missing - and he knows exactly what that is. He glances down at his phone, having been sending texts to Louis, but hasn’t heard back from him all day. . The time difference between them is about seven hours, so when the clock strikes 11 PM, Harry knows that Louis is only seeing 3 PM, and is probably out doing stuff with his book people.

Harry has no idea what his book is about, but Louis has refused to tell him - stating it’ll be some surprise or something. Harry shakes his head as he looks through a few photos, pocketing his phone as Liam approaches, swinging his arm around his friend.

“I’m drunk.” he states, words slurring together as the smell of red wine wafts from his mouth.

“I see” Harry laughs, squeezing Liam close just as Niall interrupts, brandishing guitar.

“Asssss promised, impromptu song time!” Niall shouts.

The crowd has died down, most of the guests having somewhere else to be before midnight. Niall had planned on having a small jam session between the boys and Ed, and now seemed to be appropriate seeing as they were the only ones left. The guys had all been working on separate pieces, and Harry was no exception. Any time he had free time or the thought to string together a sentence, he had been working on music.

He adjusted his low cut shirt, cross necklace hanging just at his sternum. Harry had gone for a casual-chic look, having no desire to impress much of anyone. Niall asks who’s going to sing first, and Harry offers, taking the guitar from one of his best friends.

“Alright” he announces to the small group of friends, noticing Liam recording on his phone. “This song…it’s about my favorite people - so you assholes better like it.” He strums out a few chords, grizzly voice joining in a bit later.

_“Won’t you stay till the AM?_

_All my favourite conversations,_

_Always made in the AM, yeah…”_

 

Niall lets out a whoop, encouraging his friend as Harry’s voice changes octaves.

 

_"Feels like this could be forever tonight,_

_Break these clocks forget about time,_

_There could be world war three,_

_Going on outside._

_You and me were raised in the same part of town,_

_Got these scars on the same ground_

_Remember how we used to kick around_

_Just wasting time?”_

 

Harry glances up at Liam who’s nodding along with his song, knowing that verse was about him. He has his phone fixed on Harry, smile growing on his face.

 

_“Won’t you stay till the AM?_

_All my favourite conversations_

_Always made in the AM, yeah_

_‘Cause we don’t know what we’re saying…_

_We’re just swimming around in our glasses_

_And talking out of our asses_

_Like we’re all gonna make it, yeah yeah_

_Feels like this could be forever right now,_

_Don’t wanna sleep 'cause we’re dreaming out loud,_

_Trying to behave but you know we never learned how._

_You know_

_I’m always going back to this place,_

_You know I’m always going to look for your face,_

_You know_

_Won’t you stay till the AM?"_

Harry pauses at the end, looking up with a goofy grin on his face. “It’s not done yet, but I think you get the point - this is one of those nights.” he chuckles to himself and goes to set down the guitar before Liam stops him.

“Wait, mate! Do the other one you have! I mean we can only include so many sappy sad songs on the album, this might be one of em, eh?” Liam asks, nodding to Harry - still holding up his phone.

Zayn tells Harry he doesn’t have to sing the song, but Harry dismisses the excuse. “Nah man, this is one Ed and I worked on when we got really lit for about a week after my uh….breakup. So, Eddy, come help me out, yeah?”

Ed gets up off the couch and takes the acoustic guitar from Harry’s outstretched arms, sligining it over himself and strumming out a few chords. “Ready then, mate?” Harry simply nods as Ed starts the slow tune to the song that held a lot of memories for him.

“We're not..” He starts, clearing his throat as his mind wanders to Nick.

“Sorry...no..."

_"We're not friends, nor have we ever been._

_We just try to keep those secrets in a lie,_

_And if they find out, will it all go wrong?_

_And Heaven knows, no one wants it to.”_

 

Harry keeps his head down while he sings, his voice still ringing out loud enough for everyone to hear. He taps his foot to the beat of Ed’s guitar, remembering the importance behind why he’s doing this charade with Louis and what it will mean for his future.

 

_“So I could take the back road_

_But your eyes will lead me straight back home._

_And if you know me like I know you_

_You should love me, you should know._

_Friends just sleep in another bed,_

_And friends don't treat me like you do._

_Well I know that there's a limit to everything,_

_But my friends won't love me like you._

_No, my friends won't love me like you.”_

“Not true - I know you lot will love me more” Harry adds as an aside, briefly glancing up toward Liam, who looks a little misty eyed.

 

_“We're not friends, we could be anything._

_If we try to keep those secrets safe._

_No one will find out if it all went wrong._

_They'll never know what we've been through._

_So I could take the back road,_

_But your eyes'll lead me straight back home._

_And if you know me like I know you,_

_You should love me, you should know._

_Friends just sleep in another bed,_

_And friends don't treat me like you do._

_Well I know that there's a limit to everything,_

_But my friends won't love me like you._

_No, my friends won't love me like you.”_

 

Niall is suddenly next to Harry, his arm wrapped around one of his best friends in the world. Liam shuts off his phone after sending the video out, kneeling next to Harry.

“Alright, then?” he asks simply, waiting for Harry to acknowledge any of them

Harry looks up, red rimmed eyes and a forced smile. “Yeah, just brings back some shit is all. I’m good. Let’s ring in the new year with some good memories. You and Zayn’ll make out and I’ll be fine.” Harry claps Liam on the shoulder, using him to stand up from his seated position.

“So...shots?” Niall asks, already pouring bourbon into the small glasses.

“Ah! Louis is free from his book shit, just got a snap from him!” Liam shouts, shoving the phone in front of Harry’s face to play the short snapchat.

 

A small hum of acknowledgement comes from Harry, wondering why Louis hasn’t text him back if he’s snapchatting with Liam.

“Looks like he had to get a new phone.” Liam states, quickly snapping Harry’s picture and sending it to Louis without showing Harry what he’s sent.

\---

Louis gets the photo and laughs out loud in his hotel room, sending a quick text to Liam to ask for Harry’s number since he’s lost all of his contacts.

_Hey give me Hazza’s number, will you?_

Liam doesn’t waste any time responding.

**L:** _You didn’t save it? Baddddd boyfriend, bad._

_Fuck you, my phone had an accident in the loo this morning, had to get another. I have your number memorized love muffin <3_

**L:** _Ooooh I’m going to tell Harry…._

Before Louis has the chance to respond his phone is ringing and he’s surprised to be met with Harry’s voice on the other end.

“Heeey, sorry. Had to steal Liam’s phone from him - a bit drunk, is all.” Harry giggles at something in the background, telling Liam to shut up.

Louis smiles and shakes his head, knowing how weird things are probably getting over there. “I was just asking for your number. I had a bit of an icident in the loo this morning, annnnd, well shit, long story short I had to get a new one and lost all of my contacts.” Louis runs a nervous hand through his hair, even though he’s eons away from Harry.

“And here I thought you were ignoring me.” Harry rattles off his phone number as Louis types it into his phone, promising to save it to the cloud when he gets a spare moment. “Well love, I should go. Liam is currently trying to scale the walls, and as much as I hate our landlord….Liam, Christ!” Harry yells, before turning his attention back to Louis.

“No worries, go have fun! Hey, and save a midnight kiss for me, yeah?”

Louis can practically hear Harry smiling over the phone. “Of course, Happy New Year! Well, almost for you.”

“Happy New Year” Louis says, flopping back in his hotel bed, a lazy smile on his face.

\---

January seems to fly by just as much as the past few months that Harry has spent in Louis’ company. The group of guys still hangs out as often as they can, but much of it is without Louis as he continues to be busy writing his new novel and meeting with his publishers to discuss ideas. Louis maintains that his novel is a secret and when asked, tells his friends that in order to know what it’s about, they’ll have to buy it. Harry and Louis share quiet kisses at times, with Louis staying over more and more when he isn’t too busy with his writing.

\---

It’s a Monday.

It’s a Monday when Harry knows that he’s completely gone for Louis. It’s a Monday night where the silence hangs in the air between them, that Harry knows he’s in love with Louis Tomlinson.

Harry looks over at Louis who is writing steadily in his black notebook that Harry got him for Christmas, his words loopy and delicate as they run across the page. He studies him for a few moments, noticing the way the soft light from the fire catches on Louis’ cheekbones, how his small eyes crinkle at the corner when he smiles, how Louis’ tiny foot is mindlessly grazing against Harry’s leg under the blanket they’re sharing on the couch.

Returning to his own work, Harry smiles to himself as he jots down a few lines to a song, closing his book and letting out a sigh.

“D’ya want to watch something?” he asks, no longer wanting to think about the sappy love songs dancing through his head.

Louis sets down his pen and pushes the book aside, nestling further into the couch. “Sounds great, what did you want to watch?” Louis asks, rummaging through his backpack for something. Before Harry can respond about the movie, Louis tosses something in his direction - a booklet that lands square on his chest.

“What’s this?” Harry asks.

“You may have forgotten - but don’t think I would forget about your birthday, Styles.” Louis gives Harry a toothy grin, urging him to open it.

Harry is about to ask what the gift is when he realizes how perfect he is. The booklet is a bunch of handmade coupons for Harry to use. “Have Louis cook for you - won't be using that one anytime soon, Harry chooses the movie night, Good for one free snog…” Harry flips through the rest of the cards and looks up at Louis, shaking his head. “How did you...this is great.” he finally manages, thumbs running along the edges of the list of cards he now has.

Louis shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. “So what movie will it be, birthday boy?”

“I think I’d like to use my free snog card first…”

\---

It’s two weeks later and Harry, Niall, and Zayn are in their flat in London, rushing around to get dressed and taking turns getting their hair done. It’s a huge honor for the band to be invited to The Brit Awards, and the tension in the room is palpable. The guys don’t speak with one another except for the occasional nod or grunt of approval about an outfit. Harry shrugs on the matching jacket to his rented Gucci suit, the strange yellow hue complimenting his complexion better than it’s meant to. He doesn’t bother buttoning the jacket, before slipping on his favorite black booties and stepping in front of the full length mirror.

“Damn, mate. You look amazing.” Zayn tells him, coming up behind and messing up his hair. Harry almost protests, but knows it doesn’t change his look much anyway.

“Thanks, I’m just nervous as shit.” Harry wrings his hands together, trying to think about how this isn’t one of the most important nights of his life.

“I’m glad you’re finally getting to do this. It’s going to be sick, man. Just epic.” Zayn pulls out his phone and looks up at Harry, a slow smile on his face. “Li just sent me a pic. You and Lou are going to look great tonight…” he trails off, shoving his phone in his pocket before Harry can see the photo.

“Speaking of, car’s here. We gotta go.” Zayn pulls Harry behind him before grabbing Niall from the kitchen and heading outside.

\---

Louis’ driver got to the red carpet at the same time as the boys - exactly as they had planned. Niall and Zayn exit the car and meet Louis about five feet away, Harry still safely inside the vehicle. He stares down at this hands, palms sweaty as he mulls over the choices he has in his head. It was scary to come out. It was even more intimidating to do so with a band that counted on you...and what if...what if the fans…-

“Hazza, you ok?”

Harry’s racing thoughts were interrupted not only by Louis’ voice in the car with him, but by the man who had just slipped in next to him. Louis was dressed in an all black suit, save for his white shirt that had a rounded collar just about his neck. Harry was stunned into silence momentarily, his mind coming to a halt with all of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I...nervous.”

Louis smiles. “Of course you are, but this will be good for you - and shit, probably a lot of fans who look up to you - and probably just kids who aren’t even fans. You’re really brave to do this.” He gently squeezes Harry’s thigh.

“What if I, fuck up?” Harry asks earnestly, meeting Louis’ gaze.

“I’ll be right there with you, if you fuck up - we fuck up 110% and it’ll be something we can make fun of later.”

Just like that, Harry believes him. Whatever happens will simply just happen, and they can deal with the aftermath of it later. Harry pulls out his phone and sends a quick tweet to thank his fans for always supporting him before shutting off the phone and slipping it into his pocket.

“Ready?” Louis asks, hand on the door handle.

“Ready.” Harry confirms, the door opening to camera bulbs flashing in every direction, but all Harry can see is Louis.

The four guys walk up the carpet, coming in contact with their first interview which is none other than radio host Nick Grimshaw - one of Harry’s closest friends in the business. They all greet him with hugs, and Nick pretends to be counting something, his thoughtful gaze landing on Louis.

“So boys...have you decided to add a new member to your band?” Grimmy asks, his smile bright as he speaks into the microphone.

Niall is first to answer. “Nah this is Louis, not in the band. Consider him a guest of White Eskimo.” he barely explains anything, causing Nick to dig deeper.

“What is he, your brother, Harry?” He asks, well aware that Harry only has a sister.

There’s a long pause from Harry’s side of the conversation. His breath hitched in his throat, words not forming on his tongue - even though he’s practiced them a million times. As if he knew, Louis snakes his fingers in between Harry’s and squeezes gently. Harry clears his throat, the comfort of Louis’ hand enough to help him finally jump into the chaos.

“I hope he’s no relation, really...because he’s actually my boyfriend.” Harry states, comforted by the queezes of Louis’ hand and the smile forming on Grimmy’s face.

He takes a moment to respond to that, clearly pleased by the information being presented to him. Harry and Louis talk to Grimmy for about five more minutes, explaining how long they’ve been dating and what it’s been like for them so far - Harry making promises to Nick that his show will be the first that Harry goes on once everyone knows he’s out.

The rest of the red carpet goes fairly well, most interviewers focusing on questions about the band and how the new album is going. It’s clear that many of them can’t think on their feet, and when they notice something different about Louis and Harry’s relationship, they’re not prepped with questions. Harry hands out their management’s card and booking number to a variety of people, clearly interested in the now-out lead singer.

Once they’re seated, Louis pulls out his phone and is met with about 25 notifications. The one he opens first is a text from his mum.

Mum: Lou! There are articles all over the internet about you and H. Love this photo!!

Louis turns the phone and shows the picture to Harry, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. They looked amazing tonight, and looked even better next to one another. Harry’s eyes scan the photo, landing on their hands clasped casually together, as if they had been together for years. It had felt like longer than it actually was, but Harry knew that’s because Louis was so easy to get along with and always there to answer even the most ridiculous of Harry’s questions.

“Looks good, innit? That’s a framer, as my mum says.” Louis chuckles before sending a reply to Jay, putting a small heart emoji at the end of whatever he’s sent.

“Framer?” Harry asks when Louis slips his phone back in his pocket. The lights start to dim as the intro music plays.

Louis smiles and takes Harry’s hand in his once more as the hosts take the stage. “Yeah, probably see it in  frame next time you’re at my house.”

Harry feels his face pull into a grin as the show starts.

\---

The show goes well for the most part, aside from when Niall gets locked out of the theatre when he takes too long in the bathroom. He eventually slips in next to Harry before they announce the awards for Best New Artist. White Eskimo feels honored to even be in the category with the other artists that they’ve heard so much about. The best new artist from the year before comes up to the stage and introduces all the nominees, a hush coming over the audience as their faces pop up on screen.

“And the Brit Award for Best New Artist goes to….White Eskimo!”

The words barely register in anyone’s mind until the camera’s are on the boys, urging them to get up and go accept the award. Harry stands up and realizes Louis is already standing next to him, hooting and clapping like a mad man. Before Harry has the chance to talk himself out of it, he turns to hug Louis, and as they separate he plants a kiss on his lips. The camera’s still on, a number of people cat call and cheer for Harry as he kisses Louis once more before leaving with his friends.

The walk up to the stage feels like an eternity for the three of them, shuffling through eople, as they weren’t positioned in the primo seats. When they finally get up to the stage, walk up the glass steps and are at the microphone, all of them look as if they’ve never seen one in their lives before.

“Holy shit” Niall greets the crowd into the mike with a wave toward the camera. “Ohhh, God” he repeats, running a hand through his ashy blonde hair. “I guess we’d just like to uh, we’d like to thank everyone really, for being such a huge support for us. The fans that have been there since our young days of just jamming like idiots, the one’s that stuck around...and of course our families! Love you mum!! And dad...yeah!” Niall steps away from the mike, urging Harry to step forward, knowing that Zayn will quietly accept the award.

It takes him a moment to find the right words, his head buzzing a mile a minute. Harry looks out into the crowd and spots Louis who’s still standing like a beaming soccer mom, phone in hand as he snaps pictures. Harry focuses on him for some balance.

“Right, thank you so much to our fans and everyone who’s supported us over the years. We love the feeling of getting out there and performing, and this new album is all for you.” he pauses for a moment, Louis finally noticing where his attention is. He gives a small thumbs up. “We really only exist because of the amazing fans and our families, who even when our music was shit - which it still might be, honestly - bought albums and went on tour, and donated for us to get our first tour bus. I’m very humbled to be so loved.” The music starts playing for them to leave and Harry apologizes. “Sorry, just uh...I’d also like to thank my mum, my dad Robin, my sister, and my boyfriend, Louis.”

Harry steps away just as the crowd erupts and the boys are ushered offstage and to the back where they will be photographed once more. Harry, Niall, and Zayn sling their arms around each other as they pose with their award.

“I feel like I’m fucking flying” Niall says as they make their way back to their seats, the crowd buzzing at the commercial break.

“This is amazing.” Zayn agrees. sending a quick text to Liam, even though his phone is blowing up with calls and messages from his family.

Harry slips into his seat next to Louis, heartbeat finally settling down as he takes in what jut actually happened.

“How does it feel, Haz?” Louis asks, setting his phone down on his lap.

Harry is silent for a moment, eyes turning to face his not so boyfriend-boyfriend. “I feel...light. It’s hard to explain, but light. We need to celebrate this.”

“CELEBRATE WHAT?! HOW WE’RE THE BEST NEW ARTIST!?” Niall nearly yells across the two seats between them, his eyes ablaze.

The awards end and the crowd is chaotic, but all of the guys make it outside together and pile into the escalade that took the band to the awards. They decide on a three story club that’s near their hotel, called Egg London. They arrived at the club and it seems like every other person in London has had the same idea. It’s packed with thumping music, lights dancing on the walls and people who are in a large throng together on the floor.

The guys make their way inside, Niall ordering several rounds of shots before anyone has the chance to protest. Liam greets them and the party swings into full action, all of the guys re-living their favorite moments of the night. Louis grabs on to Harry’s hand, pulling him out to the dance floor after they take what is probably their sixth shot of the night, some pink drink that Zayn ordered.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Louis shouts to Harry and the others, pulling Harry deep into the crowd of people.

Louis isn’t sure if he’s drunk from alcohol or just from tonight’s festivities, but he’s in rare form. He takes dancing by storm, usually not wanting to dance much at all. His hands wander Harry’s frame, settling briefly on his hips before moving around to his back and up his shoulders. The pair of them are face to face, Louis’ smile spreading as if it’s infectious. He laughs up at Harry, pulling him closer as their bodies melt into one another.

“It’s too bad you cashed in your free snog coupon!” Louis yells over the thud of the music, fingers playing with Harry’s hair. “This one will cost you at least a drink” he tells him, standing on his tip toes and reaching his lips to meet Harry’s. Without prompting, Harry bends down, meeting Louis’ soft lips as they press them together. Harry settles his hands at Louis’ lower back, pulling him as close as possible while his tongue moves inside of Louis’ mouth. The moment is suspended in time, their mouths dancing against one another as everything in the room fell silent. They separate after a few moments, Louis’ breathing heavier than it was before.

“Wanna get out of here?” he suddenly asks, his deep green gaze meeting Harry’s.

“And continue this snogging I’m going to be paying for?” he asks, smile pulling at the corner of his pursed lips. “Yes.”

Louis and Harry say their goodbyes to the rest of the group, Liam giving the pair of them a questioning look before sending them on their way. Louis rubs his now bare arms, his jacket left in the car that brought them.

“Here, take mine.” Harry slips off his suit jacket and wraps it around Louis’ shoulders before they exit the club, Louis mildly protesting. “Just to warn you, Liam said the paps figured out where we were, so expect some chaos when we leave.” Harry takes his hand and leads him to the door, camera bulbs flashing as they step outside.

\---

A short drive and some heavy petting later, Harry and Louis are dropped off in front of their hotel. The guys could just have well stayed at their London flat, but after getting all dressed up for the awards, they figured they may as well act proper posh and get a hotel room for the night. Well, multiple rooms.

Harry and Louis are quiet as the lift brings them up to the fifteenth floor, it’s lavish doors opening to reveal the penthouse, with three different rooms off the lift. Harry takes Louis’ hand and leads him to the door on the far right, digging in his pants pocket for the keycard. He slips it in the lock, the door lights up and they barely get inside before they’re a mess of hands and lips.

Louis’ back is against the door, his body pinned there by Harry, who’s staring down at him - a fire in his eyes. Without a word, his lips descend on Louis’ - moving just as expertly as they had in the club. Louis’ eyes flutter shut as his hands find their way into Harry’s mop of curls, fingers entwining and pulling the slightest bit when Harry nips at his neck. A small moan comes from Louis’ lips, an unexpected but wonderful sound to Harry’s ears. He moves back from the door, taking Louis with him as he slips his own jacket from the smaller man’s shoulders.

“God, Haz” Louis whispers before his lips are stopped by Harry’s kiss once more. They stay that way, lips working furiously against one another’s in the middle of the room, before Harry steps back and toes off his boots.

Louis follows suit and gets Harry back into his hands as soon as possible, where he’s supposed to be - and where it feels right. Louis pushes Harry on to the bed, gaining his own advantage and straddling him before beginning his own assault with love bites across Harry’s neck and collarbone.

“Louis” Harry says softly, his voice scratchy and deep. “Louis” he repeats, now gaining his attention.

“Hmmm?” is Louis’ only response, his lips reddened from their activities.

“I want to do this...with you.” a blush rises to Harry’s cheeks and Louis immediately knows what he means. He removes himself from his straddling position, falling next to him on the bed and looking at Harry thoughtfully.

“But I thought you hadn’t -” Louis starts, but is cut off.

“I haven’t, but I need to. It’s right. Please.” Harry states, his words rushed as his hands wander up Loui’s torso.

“This means so much to me, Hazza.” Louis states, kissing Harry swiftly on the lips before pulling back. “But I think we should talk…” Louis is cut off again by Harry’s lips.

Harry stays there for a long moment, his lips working until Louis melts into him - a gift that he’s possessed since he and Louis started their relationship months ago. “No talking. Just this.”

Louis gets up from the bed without another word, wandering to their bags which were brought up by security while they were still at the club. He looks through his black backpack, finally holding a small bottle of lube up in the air - successful search.

Harry mocks a cheering crowd as Louis comes back to the bed, unbuttoning his shirt and discarding it on the floor. Harry can’t imagine seeing anyone else like this except Louis. If you would have asked him mere months ago, he would have thought that he wasn’t going to find anyone, and even if he did they would be in it for all of the wrong reasons. Maybe Louis was, but Harry needed this experience and he desperately wanted it to be with Louis of all people. Louis knew him better than anyone else ever had, even in their short time together. He really knew him, and Harry couldn’t ask for anything more.

Louis makes slow and gentle work of prepping Harry, asking how he feels more and more as time wears on. Harry thinks he might meet his undoing just by Louis’ fingers, but he manages to hold on. “God” he mutters several times as Louis’ fingers work their way inside of him, leading up to what more is to come. Louis takes his time with Harry, gentle as he teases him, gently licking his head before inviting him into his mouth.

Harry shudders at the contact, Louis expertly working his mouth against Harry as his slender fingers do their own work. After Harry begs for Louis, he releases him, moving to kiss Harry for a moment. “You sure you want to?” Louis asks, his voice low and ready for what they're about to do.

“God, yes. Please.” Harry moans as Louis lays a few more kisses on his neck before grabbing a foil package and slipping on the condom. Louis knows this is crazy, but it feels right for him too. He keeps his eyes focused on Harry’s face as he leans into him, very slowly at first. Harry’s face contorts into a pleased face, albeit slightly uncomfortable from the first time he’s experiencing this feeling. Louis can barely keep himself composed as he watches him, feeling the tightness of Harry surrounding himself.

He pushes deeper inside with Harry’s permission, now fully engulfed by the man in front of him. “Christ” Louis mutters, overwhelmed by the full feeling, and whatever he did in this life to deserve such a man. Louis begins to move, slow at first, but then picking up speed as Harry calls out his name.

“God, Lou...God, you’re perfect.” Harry mutters between thrusts, his lashes fanned out across his face as he moans Louis’ name.

“You….you…Harry” Louis pants, forcing himself to keep his eyes open to watch Harry as they both meet their climax at the same time, a mess of sweaty limbs and come. Louis apologizes before separating from Harry, a shudder down his spine as he towels him off. The pair fall asleep without much prompting, cuddled together with Harry acting as the little spoon.

“I love you.” The words are whispered into the darkness.

\---

Harry wakes up to an empty bed and a feeling of dread in his stomach. He nearly jumps up when he realizes Louis isn’t there, his heart falling at the thought that he would simply leave after a night like that.

The door clicks open and Louis saunters in, fully showered and dressed with two cups of tea.

“Ah, sorry to wake you sleeping beauty.” he smiles, handing Harry a cup of tea from downstairs. Louis slings his backpack over his shoulder, noticing Harry’s less than enthused expression.

“Going somewhere?” Harry asks, pulling the sheets up to his bare chest, mind reeling with last nights’ activities.

Louis groans. “Not my choice - I have to go to a meeting with my publisher. The book’ll be done soon and we need to schedule press and all that shit, you know? Still having a bit of trouble with how it ends...” Louis walks around to the edge of the bed and plants a kiss on Harry’s head.

“Last night was amazing, by the way. Thank you.” Louis flips open his phone to another photo text from his mum, showing Harry before responding. “She says you’re quite the gentleman...though I might disagree with the way you were talking last night.” Louis smiles.

“Shut up you wanker!” Harry throws a pillow in his direction, Louis narrowly dodging it. “Where are you going anyway?”

“Chicago.” Louis groans and runs a hand through his hair, glancing down at the watch Harry gave him for his birthday. “Flight leaves in a few hours so I have to be on my way - you know, can’t be late and all that bullshit.” Louis shakes his head and hoists his bag further up on his shoulder, clearly not wanting to say goodbye to Harry just yet.

“See you in about a week then, yeah?” Harry asks, taking a sip of tea.

“Round then, yeah. See you!” Louis wanders to the door, as if he’s going to say something else, but opens it instead.

“Good luck!” Harry calls as Louis steps out the door, leaving him with a toothy grin.

\---

It’s only four days later when Harry is griping at Niall as he makes breakfast for them, Zayn and Liam still holed up in Zayn’s room after an especially loud sex session between the two of them.

“Are you sure nothing’s going on with you? You’ve been kinda quiet since the Brits…” Niall trails off, flipping an omelette on to Harry’s plate.

Harry hadn't told the guys anything about what happened in the hotel room with Louis. He didn't want them to make a big deal about it - not before he and Louis had the chance to figure out what they were doing - if anything. “Nah I’m fine, just a lot of thinking.” Harry trails off, picking at the fresh omelette as he flips through twitter, most of his fan mentions are positive about him coming out. Many of the fans seem to think Louis is quite the looker, and Harry has to agree with them. He tweets back to a few of them before there’s a knock at the door.

“Thanks, mate” Harry says to the mail man as he sifts through the mountains of mail they have. Letters from management about their contracts, newspaper, magazines….

Harry’s eyes catch the cover of a magazine with...his face on it. Harry’s face is front and center with the title across his head reading “Harry’s Heartbreak: How the newly famed frontman is dealing with infidelity.” Harry looks down at the page, assuming to see something about Nick selling him out, telling the tabloids about how they were engaged. Instead he’s met with a photo of Louis sitting at a table in a cafe with some other man, their hands close together on the table as they have what appears to be an intimate conversation. Harry studies the picture for a moment, knowing it’s recent from the way Louis’ hair is styled, and the watch Harry gave him pictured in the zoomed in photo of their hands.

“What the fuck is…” Harry barely has the sentence out before his phone is ringing, Damien’s name popping up on the caller ID. Niall wanders over to see what the fuss is about and glances down at the magazine and back up to Harry as he answers the phone.

“Yeah?” he asks, Damien’s voice loud on the other end. “Yeah I saw it.” Harry states deadpan, head leaning on one of his hands. This can’t be happening again.

“We ended the agreement, so feel free to do whatever you like - within reason.” Damian states, talking briefly about Louis and his supposed breach of the contract between himself and the agency before hanging up the phone.

“Who the fuck is that?” Niall asks suddenly, pointing to the article and the person across from Louis in the photo.

“Aiden, I guess?” he half asks before looking down at his phone. It’s nearly two in the morning in Chicago, but Harry decides to call Louis anyway, Niall’s hand on his shoulder - his small gesture of support.

As Harry expected, the phone rings four times before it goes to voicemail. Harry listens to the greeting, his eyes welling up with tears before the phone beeps and indicates that he should leave a message. He clears his throat, tears still threatening to burst from his eyes.

“Hey Lou...Louis. It’s Harry. I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me during this...arrangement. I never wanted to mess with your personal life, so yeah. Good luck with everything, honestly. Maybe one day when this all blows over we can hang out or something. I’m sure I’ll…see..” Harry hangs up the phone before he can finish the sentence, not wanting Louis to hear him crying on a voicemail from thousands of miles away. He collapses into Niall, one of his best friends, as the hot tears rush down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the amount of angst that's going to be in the next chapter, but it's worth it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us._  
>  \- Oscar Wilde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #ANGST
> 
> that's all.
> 
> I'm sorry.

Harry spends the next few days in his room by himself, only leaving when he has to use the loo or grab a bite from the kitchen. He runs into Niall once or twice, mostly waiting until the apartment is empty to do anything outside of his bed. He cuddles with his ragged black notebook, scribbling heartfelt lyrics when they seep into his busy mind.

He feels like he hasn’t slept in years when his eyes start to close, blinking back sleep just as his phone begins to ring. Harry looks over at the caller ID, having forgotten to turn his phone on silent the last time he bothered charging it. He let it die for a few days after the Louis incident.

“Hey Ed, what’s up?” he says softly, the darkness of his room creeping into his sour attitude.

“Just checking in on you, mate. Ran into Niall at Tesco and he let me know what’s going on.”

Harry groans in response.

“Thought you might be down to make some music and get a bit pissed. You always have good stuff when you’re emotional and drunk, soooo…” Ed trails off, his question going unasked.

Running a hand through his dingy hair, Harry hums a thoughtful noise. “You know what? Yeah. Lemme shower and you can come over whenever. I have plenty of whiskey so we can do whatever the fuck we want. I dunno where the guys are, but yeah - come over.”

Harry turns off his phone - ignoring the several missed calls and texts - and wanders out in the hall to the bathroom, towel tied around his waist. He turns the water on, just shy of scalding, before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. Harry knows when he spends too much time alone he falls deeper into his own vat of self pity, and that hasn’t stopped him this time. It’s only, or perhaps been already four days, and as the water washes over his face he can’t help but shed a few tears for what he thought he had with Louis. His mind wanders back to the way their hands fit together, their lips moving so in sync whenever they met, eyes glued to each others as if it were their lifeline - or in this case, Harrys.

He shook the water from his hair, running his hand through the messy long curls that fall past his shoulders. “Fuck” He mutters, looking into the mirror at the bags under his eyes. He slaps a bit of makeup underneath them - something he's never done in the past - before going out in the hallway, wandering back to his room with only a towel on his head.

Harry digs through his drawers, pulling on a pair of black jeans and a black adidas hoodie that probably belongs to Louis. Actually, he’s certain it does. It smells like his cologne and Harry revels in the scent as he walks back out of his room, notebook in hand. He throws up the hood, the scent surrounding him as he plops down on the couch, pulling his keyboard up to meet him.

His fingers trace across the keys as if he’s playing a melody he’s known his whole life, though it’s the first time he’s tried to put a sound to the lyrics he’s written.

_If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you_   
_I think I might give up everything, just ask me to_   
  
_Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down_   
_Right now I'm completely defenseless_   
  
_For your eyes only, I show you my heart_   
_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_   
_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_   
_Now you know me, for your eyes only_   
_For your eyes only_

Harry trailed off with his words, humming a few more lines under his breath. He didn't notice the apartment door open, Ed standing and watching him curiously. Ed hadn't known Harry to write such specific songs, but he would take his words and run with them. His friend looked up, red rimmed eyes meeting understanding ones, Ed holding up a bottle of Jameson. “Ice or nah?” He asked, wandering toward the fridge.

“Straight up.” Harry comments, his fingers tinkering on the keyboard as Ed fills their glasses and sets them on the coffee table.

“Lyrics sound good, what else ya got?”

Harry doesn't answer, but sings lines to a separate piece he's been working on. He doesn't look down at the book, having memorized the words in his head.

_“You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room,_   
_Flashing those eyes like highway signs._   
_Light one up and hand it over, rest your head upon my shoulder._   
_I just wanna feel your lips against my skin.”_

The keys stop tinkering, but Ed continues with a guitar strum, urging Harry forward with the sound. Harry always enjoyed Ed’s presence when he wasn't feeling well, his friend knowing when he wanted to talk, and especially when he didn't.

_“White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth, and the night life._   
_You told me this is right where it begins._   
_But your lips hang heavy underneath me._   
_And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me…”_

His voice threatens to break at the end, but he finishes the line and takes a breath. “I'm having trouble with the next part.” He pushes the black book toward his friend, who glances down at it.

“Damn man. This is good.” He reads over the scribbles and strums a few more chords. “How about…

_I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go._   
_Is there somewhere you can meet me?_   
_'Cause I clutched your arms...like stairway railings._   
_And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.”_

Harry nods and finally pulls the hood from his head, hair falling all around his shoulders.

“How did you know I wanted to try to see him?” Harry asks, eyes wet with fresh tears.

Ed shrugged, setting the guitar down and scooting closer to his mate. “I may be head over heels for all the wrong chicks, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to read people. Have you talked to him?” He ventured the question, Harry opening up the floor to the conversation.

“I….I wanted to but it didn't seem fair. He didn't sign up for my fucking emotions to get into the way.” He takes a long pull from his glass of whiskey, the contents warming his insides

Ed shook his head. “That's what a relationship is man. Don't feel bad for him, he messed this up.”

Harry looked down, eyes shying away from his friend. “It wasn't real...it was never real, Ed.”

“What do you mean?”

Meeting his gaze, Harry shrugged his shoulders. “It wasn't the best idea, but I needed to come out…” Harry trailed off, finally telling Ed about the arrangement, and what it all turned into over time.

“So your song. You want to tell him how you really feel?”

“I mean, I think he's happy without me - it didn’t mean anything to him. I haven't talked to anyone or Louis, but he looked happy in the photo.” Harry shrugged and turned back to the piano, playing a bit more. “I figure maybe I can write this out and be done with it, put it behind me.”

Ed nods, though he looks like he wants to say more. “Go on then, let's kill it.” Ed takes a seat as Harry starts to sing again.

_“You're writing lines about me; romantic poetry._   
_Your guys got red in his cheeks, 'cause we're something he can't see._   
_And I try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain._   
_And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same….”_

Harry breaks down at that point, this time more angry with himself than anything else. He takes back the rest of the whiskey, leaning his forehead on the keys.

Ed slings his arm around his friend, rubbing his shoulder. “It's alright, mate. This shit happens. It sucks, but that's why we’re here, drinking and fucking around with the music. Let's finish this song, then we can do whatever you want.”

Harry nods and smiles over at Ed before closing his eyes and focusing on the music.

_“I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight._   
_I didn't mean to fall in love tonight._   
_You're looking like you fell in love tonight._   
_Could we pretend that we're in love…?”_

He repeats the verse again, this time looking up to see Niall, Zayn, and Liam, standing in the doorway. They all look a bit shell shocked by what they've heard, but greet the guys as if they hadn't heard a word. When they try to go back to Nialls room, pretending to want to play FIFA, Harry stops them and asks them to join.

Nialls smile widens as he reaches for the whiskey bottle, holding it in the air. “To living things, letting them go, and getting fuckig wasted.” He announced, all of them taking a long swig from the bottle.

\---

The next few weeks go about the same as the last, drunkenly making music for the new album and letting Harry bare his soul one day at a time. The guys finish writing a song one Thursday night over pizza and more whisky - they should buy stock at this point - and Harry reveals more than he has before. They're playing never have I ever -  a first with Ed.

“Waaaaaaaait, wait. You've never even kissed a chick!?” Niall asks Liam, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head.

The rest of them laugh and take their shots, all having kissed a girl at one point or another. Liam laughs as his phone starts to buzz. It's nearly two in the morning, but the guys barely notice. Liam excused himself and picks up his phone with a soft hello.

“Yeah mate, how are things in the states?” Liam asks, once he's safely inside Zayn's room.

Louis foggy voice comes from the other end. “Almost done with the book stuff. It's an autobiography you know? Did I ever tell you?” Louis rubs his eyes, tired from lack of sleep.

Liam practically beams through the phone. “Nah mate, that's amazing. When's it due on shelves? Gonna pick up a million copies. I bet your readers are pumped!”

“Mid-Septmber…” Louis trails off, wanting to ask about Harry, but stopping himself before bringing Liam in the middle of it. “I should be in the states for another month, then come back to Donny for a break, then uh back here I guess. The readers are the ones who requested it - I guess they think my life is interesting or something...”

He and Liam talk for about ten more minutes, and Louis can't help himself. “Are the guys still set to be on Grimmy tomorrow? Well, I suppose today now.”

Liam looks down at his watch and cusses. “Yeah they are, and they're all pissed as shit. I don't think anyone's been proper sober for a few weeks.”

Louis makes a thoughtful noise and purses his lips. “Well don't tell him, but I'm going to listen, seeing as it's only a bit away.”

“Secret's safe with me. I haven't told him anything else, have I?”

\---

Niall, Harry, and Zayn are still drunk the next morning in the car on the way to the breakfast show. Grimmy allowed them to come a bit later - 5 AM, great - but that didn't change anything, except that they had that much more time to pass around the whiskey bottle. Grimmy hugs them all as they walk in, already on air.

“Sooooo, here we are with White Eskimo, who all smell strongly of booze this morning. Rough night, mates?”

Niall is the only one to answer. “Yeah you know, working on the album till all hours...gets a little wild.”

“Yeah some of you can't even face the lights this morning. Nice shades, Styles." Grimmy snaps a photo and tweets it out to his followers with the caption "lookin' fresh."

Harry wants to grunt a response, but knows he promised Grimmy his first out interview and a decent show. He puts his best foot forward. “Well you know, we’re still a bit buzzed even though we stopped drinking around three. We wanted to be perfectly chipper for you, mate!”

“Speaking of chipper, how have things been going for you? I wanted to give you the chance to clear some things up for your fans. We've been getting a lot of questions about you and Louis.”

This was the reason Harry was wearing sunglasses. He had revealed the extent of his relationship with Louis to the guys last night. Needless to say it brought up a lot of emotions and his puffy eyes were a dead giveaway. “Yeah, yeah of course. Note to everyone else: only saying this once.” Harry took a deep breath.

“I don't want anyone hating on Lou...Louis. He's a good guy and never cheated like I've seen some of the tabloids say. We had a good time, but it was a mutual thing - the breakup. So yeah.”

“So Harry Styles is really and truly single?” Nick asks, typing something onto his Twitter page.

“I am.” Harry confirms.

“Now, I know I have the first name of like your arch nemesis or what the fuck ever - but, I believe I was promised a date.” Grimmy snickered, his smile growing wide on his face.

“I don't know who promised you that Grimmers, but I'll check my calendar.” Harry laughed for the first time in what felt like months.

The rest of the interview went well, the guys all talking about their new album and what's next for them. They all agree that the album will be released soon, having all the tracks done - not all of them recorded.

“Ok guys so we've had a few questions filtered into us during the show. Can we ask you before the Live Lounge?”

All the guys agree before Grimmy scrolls through his mentions, snickering. “How come all of you are obsessed with this Larry screen name, you twats! Ok so first one is, what's your favorite song off the new album?”

“I love Wolves. Great tune.” Niall says into the mike, looking to the others.

“Is There Somewhere really means a lot to me.” Harry states simply.

Grimmy senses something. “What is it about that song?”

Harry let's out a sigh. “Well you know I think we all write from experiences. When you listen to the song it's about an important time in my life, and I guess it just helped me work through some stuff.”

“We didn't let Harry contribute as much as he really wanted to the album - wanted some songs to be slightly upbeat” Zayn interjects, hitting Harry lightly on the arm.

Harry chuckles and touches his sunglasses. “Hey our last album got nominated for some Grammy’s and I'm preeeeetty sure I wrote most of it.”

Niall let's out a low “Oooooooh burn.” Before Nick continues with the questions.

“This one’s from….well, me. Asking if you'll come back, Harry, for my Really Gay Day that I'm hosting later this year.” Nick gives him a toothy grin.

“Yeah sure, might as well fling myself out of the closet at this point.” He pauses for a moment. “One time for one more question, we’re all still a bit drunk and want to play some music.”

“My my we are testy this morning aren't we? Oooook. Last question goes to the group as a whole, wondering when the next tour starts and where.”

“I can answer that one!” Niall speaks up. “We should start the tour in a few months, we want to get the album up and ready to sell at shows. What’s exciting is we’ll be back at The Ruby Lounge for a special show. More details about that in the future!”

Harry slides his sunglasses up into his hair and Grimmy makes a mock-shrieking noise. “To anyone who’s listening right now, you’re about to see Harry Styles in rare form in our live lounge. He’s taken off his sunglasses not only to reveal the terrible drunk eyes he has - but I’ve caught a glimpse of his arm. New tattoo, my love? More to come after the break…” Grimmy signs off and the boys all get up from their spots, ready to move into the live lounge.

“Grimmers, you’re a proper twat” Harry says to him during their walk down the hall, shrugging off his coat to reveal a blue shirt with stars all over it.

“You take it just as well as you dish it out, Styles.” he smiles, nudging the other man with his shoulder.  “Tell me about your new tattoos. I feel like I haven’t seen you topless in forever!” he jokes, his voice raising, causing Niall and Zayn to turn around.

“Just added some more to this arm, you know” he holds out the arm with _Things I Can’t_ scrawled below his inner elbow, with a variety of doodles and art. Just as before, Harry has his other arm void of any art, aside from the words _Things I Can._

“Something looks different.” Grimmy decides before leaving Harry and the others in the room, readying the cameras and his mike for the Live Lounge program.

\---

The guys perform well, though everyone knows Harry isn’t in his best place. He’s usually animated and working well with the other guys, but today he seems off - and everyone can guess why. Every song that Harry has worked on from the new album has a bit of heartache written in between the lines, even the more upbeat songs that they’ve chosen to perform.

Niall, Harry, and Zayn stay on the tour bus afterward to go over what they’re going to perform at the Grammy’s the next month, seeing as they’ve just been asked to come. It’s a really exciting time for everyone, and Niall and Zayn are completely buzzing at the idea of being back in California. The thought only leaves Harry wistful for something that might have been.

\---

“I wonder if Louis will be there” Harry says aloud a few weeks later as they drive to the airport before the award show, his voice hanging in silence for more than a few seconds. None of the guys have brought up Louis themselves before in months. The last time anyone tried, Harry exploded at Niall and they didn’t talk for a week.

“Uhhhh” Niall starts, cautious around the topic for obvious reasons. “I uh, want me to ask Liam?” he asks as the car comes to a halt in front of the departures.

“Nah, I won’t leave the hotel. Won’t have to see anyone: Louis, Aiden, fucking Nick still lives there probably…” he trails off, muttering a string of unitelligible curses under his breath as he gets out of hte car.

That’s the last Harry speaks for the rest of the trip to the states.

\---

Louis is flipping through the TV channels in his rented home when he stops at a familiar face. Harry. Harry on the TV. Harry on the TV at the Grammy’s. He vaguely remembers something Liam had mentioned about them performing, but hadn’t thought twice about it. He had tried talking to Harry a number of times since his vague message he left when Louis originally left, only to find out from Liam that Harry had blocked his number.

After that he had spent a few days wondering what he should do and if it was worth going home for, but after hearing Harry on Grimmy’s show - that he had stayed up forever to listen to - Louis decided against it. Whatever hope he had for rekindling any sort of friendship Harry was probably long lost.

Now here he was, staring at Harry’s face on the TV, a ringing phone interrupting his thoughts as he stared at the man projected on his screen.

\---

The tabloids hated Harry, he decided. Absolutely wanted to make his life a living hell. After the Grammy red carpet and a wonderful performance, the Daily Mail had splashed Harry’s face across their publication with the caption. “Harry hoping to see Louis in LA, winds up disappointed and alone on one of the best days of his life.”

It was true, winning a Grammy was, and probably would forever be, one of the greatest moments of Harry’s life. Zayn fell ill right after the performance, so Harry and Niall were left to accept the award by themselves. The photo on the front page showed that exact moment, Harry’s face looking less than enthused as Niall fist pumps the air. It seems his mother has seen the photo as well, Harry’s phone lighting up to indicate her call.

“Mum?” he asks, looking at the clock. It’s nearly two in the morning in the UK.

“Harry” she says softly, though she sounds upset.

“What is it, mum? Why are you awake so late?” he asks, suddenly wondering if she’s had an accident or something happened with Robin.

She’s silent for a moment. “I could ask you the same question. Since when is it ok with you to take off to the US without telling any one of your family members?” she asked.

“I just figured you’d - “ He’s cut off by his mother’s voice.

“Figured you’d what, Harry? Forget to tell me anything about your life? Figured I would just know about you and Louis. I had to call him to figure out why you weren’t calling me back! You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, love!” She was upset, but still using pet names.

Harry took a long pause, taking a breath before letting it out. “You talked to Louis?” he asks, waiting to hear what they discussed.

“I did!” her voice was getting louder. “Come to find out he tells me you’re at the Grammy’s in California, where he is working on his novel! His novel! You didn’t tell me he was even writing anything. AND, what’s more, Harry Edward Styles, is that sweet Lou wouldn’t answer any of my questions about your break up.” she scolds him, and Harry can practically see her sitting up in bed, face flushed as her temper rises.

“Sweet Lou?" He nearly shouted. "Don’t you read the tabloids, mum? He cheated on me. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Harry hangs up the phone before his mum has the chance to say anything else. He puts his phone on do not disturb before rolling over and going back to sleep.

\---

It’s nearly May by the time the guys are able to start touring, the album finished and about to be out on the shelves. It’s been a whirlwind for all of them, but it’s also been an experience they’ll never forget. They start their tour in the US, going to 67 venues in two months before returning back to the UK in August for a week break before the second leg of the tour starts. Liam is coming on the UK tour with them, working remotely from backstage or the bus whenever he’s able to. Harry wonders how much he talks to Louis, but knows better than to ask. He doesn’t want to come between their relationship, especially after all this time.

The guys are all in the shared flat playing FIFA when Harry’s phone starts to buzz steadily with twitter notifications.

“What the hell?” he looks down at his phone and opens the app, scrolling through mentions before looking at the trending topics.

Niall looks up from his controller, pausing the game. “What’s up, H?” he asks, opening his own phone.

“Looks like Louis finished his book, and I’m a big part of it.” Harry looks through his mentions, face growing red with frustration as he reads them out loud to the guys.

“This one says: Harry Styles, have you read Louis’ book? What’s the story? We need to know more. Then there’s a few….what the hell? Why are they trending Larry Stylinson again? Christ.” Harry mutters, his gaze lingering on Liam. “What the fuck did he do?” he asks him, standing up and taking a few steps toward him.

Liam shrugs. “It’s just an autobiography, when I saw what he was working on it looked really good.” he offers.

“Really good? Selling me out to the highest fucking bidder?” Harry asks, his voice raising as he steps towards Liam. "This is exactly what happened with Nick."

“Hey, chill out mate, this isn’t his fault.” Zayn offers, stepping in between Harry and Liam.

Harry was about to say something, but instead got out his phone and frantically searched through his contacts, phone ringing a few times before there was an answer.

“Harry, what’s going on?” Damian’s voice sounding as if he had just woken up.

“What the fuck do you think is going on. I thought you had a contract with Louis?” he nearly yells, stepping back into the other part of the bus.

“We did, yeah. Paid him out and all’s done and done.” Damian said simply, as if that were explanation enough.

“Paid him out huh? He wrote a fucking book with my name all over it and you’re telling me... this all...he had a monetary contract?” Harry suddenly realizes what this means: that Louis was basically paid to be with him.

“We did, yeah.”

Harry doesn’t reply, but throws his phone across the bus, slamming the dressing room door behind him. He wants to yell and be mad as hell, but the only thing that happens is that he crumples. Harry falls to the ground in a mess of tears, quiet sobs deafening his ears to the knock at the door.

Liam comes inside and puts an arm around Harry, who’s nearly laying on the floor at this point. “I’m sorry mate, this is my fault. I should have...I dunno, I’m sorry.” he apologizes again as Harry shakes his head and nuzzles into his best friends shoulder.

“I’m sorry I’ve been a proper dick to you for months.” he pulls back from Liam, his eyes wet and glassy. “I’ll make it up to you at your birthday next weekend, yeah? Get you proper pissed and such.”

They both agree to forget the argument, Liam understanding that Harry is still very hurt by what happened with Louis - feeling partially, if not fully responsible for his involvement. No one would blame him, and Liam hated keeping secrets from his best friends - but there was one he certainly couldn’t tell Harry until the time is right.

\---

As promised, Harry throws an epic party for Liam for his birthday, the crisp August air welcoming the fall with open arms. Harry reserved a set of tables in the back of one of their favorite London clubs, the group of them getting well and drunk before heading to the dance floor. Harry thinks he’s nearly drunk enough with Ed, dancing wildly around with his arms in the air, until he spots an all too familiar body across the room. Louis.

Harry strides over to the man who’s talking with Liam, nearly tripping over the other dancers in his drunken state. Harry sees the flash of recognition cross Liam’s face as he arrives next to the pair. It’s the first time that Louis and Harry have seen one another since the Brit Awards and their night together.

“Harry, I was just wishing…” Louis starts, but Harry cuts him off.

“I don’t care what the fuck - or whom, for that matter - you’re doing.” Harry snaps, picking up his glass from the table and finishing it’s contents in one gulp.  He's silent for a few moments.

“How does it feel? he asks Louis.

“How does what feel?”

Harry laughs. “You know, making money off of my name. Getting paid to fucking sleep with me? Felt good, huh? Felt good breaking my stupid fucking heart? I bet.”

“Harry I didn’t-” Louis starts.

“Just save it, I get it - it didn’t mean anything to you. I was just an easy lay and an easier paycheck.”

“Mate do you think you should maybe go? It’s been a long night.” Liam asks, slipping on his jacket and waving frantically for Zayn to come over and join them.

“I’m fine. I don’t need a babysitter.” Harry stalks off into the crowd of dancers, looking for someone - anyone - who isn’t Louis.

\---

The next thing Harry remembers is being led out of the club, a steady arm around his waist as he gets into a cab. Someone tells the driver his address and they get there with no problem, Harry needing help up the stairs to the shared flat. Harry fumbles with his keys, dropping them several times before someone picks them up and opens the door, leading Harry inside. He sways to his room, falling face first on the bed in his clothes.

Harry can feel his shoes being taken off, his body being adjusted to lay in the bed correctly before the covers are pulled up over his body. A soft kiss is placed on his head, and Harry thinks the person smells good, their scent lingering in the air along with those three words that have been uttered before.

“I love you.”

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't help myself - I needed to post a smallllllll next chapter to hold you over until next week! I just got so giddy about the boys being all LARAOKE on James Corden tonight so here you go <3

Harry wakes up the next morning and is less than thrilled with the headache he’s met with. He feels around in the dark for his phone, but finds instead two pills on his bedside table, along with a glass of water. He takes the drugs without questions, making sure to thank whoever was looking out for him last night. Harry sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes before wandering into the kitchen, still dressed in last night’s clothes.

Niall looks up from his toast and Nutella, a goofy grin pasted on his face. “Rough night, eh Harry?” he questions, a brow arched in curiosity just as Liam comes from Zayns room.

“Damn man, what time did you end up getting home last night?” he asks, running a hand through his hair.

Harry glances over to the stove, reading that it’s almost two in the afternoon. “Jesus” he mutters to himself, taking a seat across the table from Niall, head in his hands. A realization hits him. “Shit. Louis was there last night.” He states, knowing that he didn’t dream up seeing that lopsided grin and bright blue eyes.

“Yeah he came to wish me a happy birthday and you nearly bit his head off.” Liam offered, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

“Sorry about that.” he paused for a moment, shaking his head. “Did I bring someone back here?” Harry asked, looking around the room for clues of his return from the club last night.

Liam shook his head. “No clue man, you tiptoed in here and passed out - as far as I know.” he shrugged, bringing the glass to his lips.

“Oh!” Niall put his finger up in the air, as if he had something important to say. “Just remembered - Damian said your phone was off, or something, so he called me trying to get a hold of you. Wanted you to come in later.” he shoved a piece of toast into his mouth, humming happily.

“It’s right here” Liam said, holding up Harry’s phone, screen displaying a number of missed calls and texts from various people.

Harry grabs it and looks at the list of names on his phone, rolling his eyes. “Looks like I need to get out of here.”

\---

After taking a quick shower and running his hands through his hair, Harry slips into some old jeans and a sweater before hopping into his car. He feels like he hasn’t been home in forever, England being the one place he feels like he can be completely himself. He pulls up to the management building, gets in the lift and pushes the button for the fifth floor. Humming along to the song as he looks through his phone, Harry stops short when he sees a tweet from Louis.

 

It was a simple tweet, and how it appeared in Harry’s feed after he had unfollowed Louis was...oh, Liam retweeted it. Of course he did. Harry studied the tweet for a long moment before noticing the time. I was nearly four in the morning when Louis had tweeted. Walking up to the assistant's desk, Harry shoved the phone in his pocket and asked for Damian.

“I’ll get him, you can just wait in the conference room there.” she pointed to the room Harry had been in millions of times before. He took a seat in the squishy chair at the far end of the room, reaching for the remote and clicking through a few channels before Damian and Renee walked in.

“Harry, risen from the dead I see.” Damian stated, taking a seat across from him.

“You look good too, man” Harry offered, flicking off the TV and turning his attention to one of his managers.

Damian shuffled through some papers, Louis’ photo among them, before settling on a few forms. “So, I think we had a miscommunication the other night.” he starts, Harry’s brow furrowing in confusion.

“When...what do you mean?” he asked.

Damian pushed some papers across to Harry, chewing on the edge of his pen. “I think when you called me - about Louis - you were confused. I said we paid him out, do you know what that means?”

Harry let out a sigh and put his head in his hands. “I get it, you paid him to be with me, I get that ok? Do we have to keep talking about it?” he asked, gaze finally looking up and settling on the pair of PR reps.

“See, that’s what you don’t understand. What that means is he paid us.” Damian said, pushing the papers a bit closer to Harry.

His eyes quickly scanned the page, one that appeared to be an agreement between Louis and the company, stating that he was paying to end his contractual agreement early, but would not release any personal information, or things he had learned about Harry and his life to the public.

“What does this mean? He paid you, why?” Harry asked, glancing down at Louis’ loopy signature.

Damian took the papers back and shoved them into his manilla folder labeled “LT - HS”

“Did you happen to see the date?” he asks simply.

Harry shakes his head. “No, why?”

“He came to us on this day” Damian looked down at the paperwork and pointed next to Louis’ signature. “On February 12th he came in here, kind of wild looking, asking to speak with me.” he paused for a moment, Harry waiting on bated breath for what else Damian had to say. “Spouted all of this nonsense about how he couldn’t be under contract anymore, how he had developed feelings for you, and he wanted out.” Damian said slowly, gauging Harry’s reaction.

He was silent.

Louis had come to Damian to…

“Feelings?” Harry asked, grabbing the papers back from Damian and looking down at the date, which definitely said February 12th, 2016. “But...why didn’t you tell me. Why didn’t he tell me?” Harry asked aloud, not knowing if  he would get any real answers or not.

“He said he needed to tell you himself - made us swear to hell and high water not to say anything until he had the chance. He said he’d felt that way for a while, but didn’t want to let anyone here down by buying out early.” Damian explained.

Harry let out a low groan, running both hands through his curly damp hair. “Ok, so wait. What does the buy out actually mean - you paid him since he left early?” he asked, still confused by the process worked.

“No, no, Harry. A buyout means he paid us - he paid us to break the contract early.” he paused as Harry stood up from his chair.

“What the fuck - why….why the hell didn’t anyone tell me this was going on?”

Damian shrugged, clearly not too worried about the situation. “We didn’t think it mattered until now.”

“Until now. Now what?! Christ Damian, I’ve said some really fucked up things to him for no reason.” he paused, ready to walk out of the room.

“I thought it was a good time to tell you, because of the record - we can’t have you performing in the UK like you did in the states. It was messy, not put together. The majority of your fans are here and they want to see the White Eskimo they know and love, not fucked up Harry Styles doing whatever he wants on stage.”

Harry could feel his blood boiling, but managed to breathe past his frustration that was building. “You said he paid you, how much?”

“Harry that’s not important to - “

“I asked how much. You brought me into this shit, now tell me.”

Damian sighed. “Sixteen thousand pounds.”

The color drained from Harry’s face. “Sixteen thou….how? What….” he was at a loss for words. Harry had no idea where Louis would have come up with the money, unless it was his savings that he had told Harry he had been slowly building up since he started writing and doing speaking engagements.

“I’m done.” Harry paused, eyes locking with Damian. “I’m fucking done. After this record, we’re through.” He turned on his heel and left the office, taking the stairs down two at a time before getting in his car and pulling out his phone.

\---

“HAZZAAAA!” Niall yelled when he answered the phone, FIFA playing loudly in the background as Zayn and Liam screeched at one another.

“Can you put Li on the phone, please?” he asked, tapping the steering wheel as he spoke to Niall, nerves working up as he drove.

“Everything ok?” Niall asked, snapping at Liam to get his attention.

Harry turned a corner, getting on the highway. “I dunno right now.” he paused for a moment. “It will be.” he added, just as Niall handed the phone to Liam.

He sounded out of breath when he spoke. “What’s up, Harry?” he asked, concern laced in his voice.

“Did you know?”

“Know what?”

Harry sighed. “Did you know that Louis paid to get out of the contract?” he slurred the words together, emotions coming to a high as he thought about all the nasty things he had said to Louis just the other night.

Liam was silent for about thirty seconds before answering. “I did, yeah. He made me promise not to tell, H.” Liam’s voice was soft.

“But all this time...after I found out…” Harry pulled to the side of the road, throwing the car into park.

Liam let out a breath he was holding in. “Listen Harry, you’re my best friends - you and Lou. I’m guessing you talked to Damian and he broke his promise to Louis, but I couldn’t. You understand, right?” he asked, voice hopeful.

“Of course, yeah...just, why didn’t he tell me?”

“He was going to when he got back from the states - and then that terrible pap photo of him and Stan broke and you - “

“Who’s Stan?” Harry asked, wondering why he had never heard the name before, and what that meant for his now constantly aching heart.

“Stan is one of Louis’ best mates - went to school together as kids, all that shit. He got him the signing deal with his publishing company in the states. That’s who the photo was - not Aiden, and definitely not someone Louis was dating.” Liam took a breath and continued. “Before you ask, Louis swore me to secrecy about everything - he thought it better you just believed what happened for a while, until he could explain himself in person. He didn’t get the chance, but has a way of speaking through his writing. That’s why you’re mentioned in the book, it’s nothing bad - honest.”

Harry was stunned into silence. The amount of knowledge he had gained in the past three hours was crippling, and he had no idea what to do with all of it - especially about the feelings Louis supposedly had and the money he spent trying to be honest to Harry. Harry was, however, able to make one decision that day.

“Ok, I can’t talk about this anymore right now - can I get Niall back?”

Liam handed the phone back to Niall, who was much less chipper than before. "What's going on?" he asked.

“Hey, want to release a single without permission from Damian and his posse?” Harry asked, not having to wait long for a response.

“You know I do. Zayn is always down to fuck with them.” he paused for a moment, asking Harry what song it was.

“Is There Somewhere. I think I need Louis to hear it - we haven’t ever played it to fans, and it didn’t make it on the final album cut - so we’re recording a version tonight, yeah?” Harry asked, Niall hooting in response before hanging up the phone.

\---

The next several hours were spent in the makeshift recording studio the guys had made out of the spare room in their flat. It was originally a small office, but they clearly had no need for that. Padding lined the walls, and the instruments were set up quite crowded together, but it would work for their short term goal. Zayn tested out the drums while Niall and Zayn went over the lyrics. Liam would be in charge of mixing the song as best he could - the rest of them having no experience with any software in that respect.

“Can this be ready tonight?” Harry asks Liam after they record the song, leaning over his shoulder to look at all the gadgets he has in front of him.

“Can be, yeah” Liam mutters, focused on his task. “How’re you going to get it to the fans?”

Liam’s question is out just as Harry shouts “Grimmy!” pulling his phone from his pocket. He sends a quick text to Nick, telling him that they have a new song that’s going to be played first on the Radio One Breakfast Show. Harry shoves his hands in his pockets, knowing that Nick won’t be able to answer since he’s sleeping.

“Are you sure I can’t try and talk to him, just give me his number?” Harry nearly begs Liam, who shakes his head in response.

“You know I can’t, Harry. He’s dealing with this in his own way, alright? You do what you can and see what happens, but he’s back in the US with his book tour, you have to let him enjoy that.”

Harry nods and shuffles behind Liam for a bit before sitting on the couch with Niall. They share a few laughs and watch old footage of their shows when Liam comes out of the room a few hours later, bleary eyed from staring at the computer screen.

“It’s done, alright?”

\---

It’s 4 AM in the UK, which means where Louis is - it’s 9 PM the previous day. Louis pulls his laptop from the bedside table and mutes the TV, pulling up the BBC page to listen to Grimshaw’s morning show. He knows it’s not the best choice, but a slice of home when he’s away is all he needs to stay sane - especially making appearances multiple times a day. He loves what he does, but he certainly wants to be back home. One week, and he won’t have to listen to Grimmy streaming from his rental home anymore, he can listen live in London if he wants.

The hosts voice flows through the speakers, and it seems he’s in the middle of telling a story that he finds utterly amusing.

“...so Styles shoots me a text last night, and is going all anarchist and wanting to release a single that didn’t even make it onto the album.” Grimmy pauses and shouts to someone in the background. “So what I’ve managed to do here is convince the one and only White Eskimo to give us a live phone interview - since those lazy asses can’t drive to the studio - which might I add, is like 20 minutes from their flat.” he messes with some things in the studio and welcomes his guests.

“Ayyyyy Grimmers!” Niall’s voice comes loud over the air, and Louis can’t help but smile at the sound. The rest of the band greet Nick with simple “hellos” before he starts questioning Harry.

“So, you send me a text at 9:43 PM when you know I’m already fucking asleep, mate...and tell me you want to do whatever it is we’re doing here, yeah?”

“That’s pretty much it, mate” Harry’s voice is scratchy as if he just woke up.

“Well tell me - tell us, what’s going on? Why the sudden 'fuck the label' movement?” he asks.

Harry pauses and whispers something to someone next to him. “First of all Liam wants you to know he’s here too.” he pauses, causing Louis to smile. “And secondly, it’s because we’ve been screwed over a bit too many times to count. This song means a lot to me, and I want some people to hear it. PS. We’re gonna play it next weekend at The Ruby Lounge for our last show.”

“Can you tell us anything else about the song?”

Harry sighs. “No but what I can tell you is we’re all huddled up in my fucking bed, and if you don’t play it soon we’re going back to sleep and never coming on your show again.” Harry teases.

“Ya twat - I don’t know why I keep letting you come on here. Anyway uh, if there’s anyone in the void, here’s the new White Eskimo song called Is There Somewhere - you heard it here first on BBC Radio One!” he announces before the tune starts to seep in through the speakers halfway across the world.

Harry’s voice comes in clear as the song plays, growing deeper and more forceful as he belts out the words. After the song end, Louis shuts down his computer and faces a restless night.

\---

The single took off better than expected, with other radio stations piggy backing off Grimmys show, playing the song on theirs as well. Damian calls to cuss out the band, but it doesn’t do much, considering their contract is over after the show at The Ruby Lounge tonight. Harry hasn’t heard anything from Louis, or Liam for that matter, since the song was released. He and the guys have spent a lot of time practicing together, wanting to make their end of the UK tour the best yet - especially at their favorite venue.

Harry is pacing around backstage, nervous as he always is to go on - but the venue bringing back very specific memories of meeting Louis and seeing those bright eyes for the first time. He lays back on the couch in their dressing room, booted feet up on the arm as he takes out his phone and dials Liam.

He hears a shuffling on the other end, and Liam’s voice telling someone to be quiet before Liam actually responds. “Hey, Harry! Sorry mate, got you on bluetooth in my new car.”

“Oh nice! So are you coming to the show tonight? I have your tickets at the door but I never heard back from you.” Harry knows his voice sounds a bit hurt, but he tries to smile anyway.

Someone coughs in Liam’s car. “Yeah mate, I’m coming, be there a bit after seven - no worries!” he offers.

“Who did you end up bringing?” he asks, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“Oh just my mate from work - Olly.” Liam explains how he knows him, Harry saying hello over the speakers. “Sorry I’m running late, I had to pick him up from the airport.” Liam tells Harry that they’ll see him there, and quickly hangs up, leaving Harry lost in his thoughts again.

Niall and Zayn bust through the door only a few moments later, telling Harry it’s almost time to go on. They go through the setlist together and decide to play the songs in a certain order, shoving the new single toward the end.

“Let’s kill it, mates!” Niall shouts, bringing them in for a group hug.

\---

The show goes well for the most part - as it typically does at The Ruby Lounge. The acoustics are amazing and the crowd is the best it’s ever been - a packed house by the looks of it. Harry speaks for a moment in between a few songs, addressing the crowd and thanking them for being such loyal fans.

“So this next song, well, let’s be honest - it’s become our number one song and we’re not even selling it.” he tells the now cheering crowd, obviously knowing what he’s talking about. “So me and Eddy worked on this tune about six months ago, and I originally didn’t want to put it on the album, but you know….I think it’s a good one to hold on to - even if it’s intended purpose doesn’t work.” he leaves them with that before pointing to Zayn.

Before Zayn has the chance to start his gentle drumming, a fan shouts from a distance. “Acoustic! Acoustic keyboard!!” they shout. Harry squints through the bright lights and can only see someone waving, not recognizing them. He shrugs his shoulders and turns to ask the guys if they mind.

“Alright, acoustic it is. Here’s Is There Somewhere. Hope you like it.” Harry pulls the keyboard in front of him and hums a few beats before he starts playing.

_“You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room,_

_Flashing those eyes like highway signs._

_Light one up and hand it over, rest your head upon my shoulder._

_I just wanna feel your lips against my skin.”_

The lights darken for a few beats before flashing up on Harry once more, his lips close to the mike, eyes closed.

 

_“White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth, and the night life._

_You told me this is right where it begins._

_But your lips hang heavy underneath me._

_And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me._

_I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go._

_Is there somewhere you can meet me?_

_'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings._

_And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.”_

He opens his eyes for a few beats, spotting Liam making his way through the crowd. He sends a smile to his friend as he stands a few rows back, a shorter brunette following with two drinks in his hands. He follows Liam closely, Harry unable to make out his face, looks back down at the keyboard.

_“You're writing lines about me; romantic poetry._

_Your guys got red in his cheeks, 'cause we're something se can't see._

_And I try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain._

_And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same.”_

Harry looks up once more, a few fans moving to the side to make room for Liam’s friend. Why would they be moving for... _Louis._ Harry’s taken aback, but focuses on the man in front of him as he sings the next verse, meaning every word. He tries not to blink as he sings, hoping Louis isn’t some figment of his imagination.

_“I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight._

_I didn't mean to fall in love tonight._

_You're looking like you fell in love tonight._

_Could we pretend that we're in love?”_

Harry pauses at the end of the song, keyboard still tinkling the end of the tune, as he asks. “Is there somewhere you can meet me?” And the lights fade.

\---

Harry is just about to leave backstage and look for Louis when Liam rounds the corner and nearly runs into him. He’s holding something but Harry ignores it, trying to push past him.

“Hey I need to go see him, I need to talk about this.” Harry tells Liam, his hand on his shoulder.

Liam looks up and shakes his head. “He’s already gone, Haz”

“What! Gone where? Why didn’t you stop him?” Harry asks, face falling.

Liam hands Harry the package in his hands. It’s wrapped in a nautical paper, and Harry looks up, brows drawn together. “What is this?” He asks, tearing off the paper and looking down at what appears to be a book, the cover a bright blue decorated with clouds, with the title “Up In The Air” with Louis’ name at the bottom.

“He wanted you to read it - thought it might explain some things. Read the whole thing, and don’t try to talk to me before you’ve done it, mate.” Liam puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, leaving Harry standing alone in the hallway with a copy of Louis’ autobiography.

He sinks down to the floor and opens it up.

\---

It’s nine in the morning when Liam’s phone rings, Harry on the other end. “Why do I have to read about all of Louis’ past mistakes and relationships before I can fucking talk to him?” he asks, groggy from staying up half the night.

“Stop calling me and just read it.” Liam hangs up, shutting off his phone in the process.

\---

Harry was reading on the couch the next afternoon when Niall walked in, poking his head as he walked by. “Damn, you’re a slow reader, mate” he commented.

“I’m at the part about me, shut up you twat.” he didn’t look up from the book, but sucked in a breath as he finished the page, flipping the next one over and scanning it quickly. “Shit.” Harry mutters, reading the last page as his heart jumps into his throat.

“Niall, he says here _‘I told him that I loved him several times, but each was more quiet than the last. We’ll see how the story ends.’_ what the fuck does that mean? How is that the end? What the hell? When did he tell me? Where was I?” Harry asks, throwing the book aside and dialing Liam’s number again.

“I’m still not telling you.” Liam answers the phone, without a greeting.

Harry’s nearly panting at this point. “Does he love me?” he asks, his voice scratchy as he tries to speak coherently.

“Did you read the whole thing?” Liam asks.

“Yes!” Harry tries to keep himself from shouting.

“Clearly you didn’t, or you wouldn’t be on the phone with me right now.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry flips through the last few pages. “I’ve read them all!”

“Did you read the dedication page?” he asks.

“Now why would I…” he flips to the page, the dedication reading:

> _**For my love: I’m sorry I was late.** _

Harry hangs up with Liam as his eyes read the printed words again and again, knowing that Louis is referencing the first time they met in Manchester, the watch he gave him, and countless other jokes they had with one another. His eyes scan down the page to a messy black scrawl at the bottom of the dedication page. It reads:

> _H,_
> 
> _Somewhere you can meet me: our spot, 11:59 PM on September 5, 2016. Give us a second chance?_
> 
> _\- Louis xx_

The message is simple, but Harry can’t stop the feeling of dread that’s running through him. Holmes Chapel is a nearly three hour drive from London, and it’s already past 9 PM. Without another word Harry mutters that he has to go to Niall before hopping in his car and getting on the road.

\---

Harry drives for what seems like days, excitement and dread building within him as he finally pulls of the road into Holmes Chapel. It’s almost midnight, but maybe he still has time - maybe Louis will stay later and be there waiting for him. Harry has to hold on hope as the clock clicks past midnight, the sky pitch black as he turns into the parking lot. He pulls on his coat and grabs his flashlight from the back of the car, setting off into the dark autumn night.

It’s too late. When Harry gets to the clearing, his favorite spot in the world - it’s bright. In his all too familiar spot, the metal bucket sits next to the red folding chair, the blaze in front of him warming his face. Harry takes a few steps forward, bringing his hand to his face as he looks down at the burning material - a copy of Louis’ book, the clouds melting into embers on the front cover. Louis has clearly been there, and already left.

The drive to his house is a grueling fifteen minutes, but Harry can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be, and anyone else that could help him other than his mum. He pulls up to the driveway and walks inside, careful to be quiet, as it’s now well past one. Harry spent some time staring at the fire and mulling over what his next move was going to be, before heading home.

He takes a few steps inside and notices the kitchen light is on. “Mum?” he asks quietly, poking his head through the door and spotting his mum with a cup of tea. “Why are you awake?” he asks, sniffling as he wipes a few stray tears from his face. She’s barely able to ask him what’s wrong before Harry collapses in her arms, quiet tears running down his face as he tells Anne everything.

Harry starts at the beginning, taking a seat across from his mom, a spare cup of tea on the table as if she knew he was coming. He takes it into his hands and holds it there, the warmth helping comfort him. “It was all fake.” he starts, moving on to tell his mum about everything he and Louis had been through, how he thought this arrangement was for the best, and how they had both apparently fallen for each other without being sure about one another’s feelings. He tells her about the money Louis paid to get out of the contract and how he wrote a song for him.

“I just feel like everything went wrong.” he finally mutters, head in his hands.

“Well what happened tonight, he told you to meet him?” Anne asks, her voice soft and understanding.

“Yeah and I was late, and now it’s too late. He probably thinks I’m a dumbass who doesn’t care for him and…” Harry wanders off in thought, taking a sip of tea and nearly spitting it out. “Mum...what kind of tea is this, it’s….this is terrible.” he groans, pushing the cup away from himself before stopping and looking at Anne.

She’s smiling, a knowing sort of smile as she shakes her head at her son.

“Wait. Mum, I didn’t say anything about tonight - how did you know?” he asks, brows furrowing as he takes in his mother’s strange expression.

Anne takes Harry’s hand in her own across the table. “Louis told me, love.” she pauses, Harry’s heart wretched in his throat.

“How did he…” he glances down at the tea, realization flitting across his face.

His mother smiles again, this time a bit softer. “He told me everything, love. He came here after he left your thinking spot - poor Lou was heartbroken and didn’t have anywhere to go.” she shook her head, squeezing Harry’s hand. “He makes terrible tea, love, but he certainly loves you - that much I can tell.” she gets up from the table and holds her arms out to her son, who falls into them.

“What...what did he say?” he asks, voice shaking.

Anne squeezes him before letting her son go. “You can ask him in the morning, but right now he’s in your room.” Harry moved to go upstairs, but his mum held him by the arm. “Don’t you dare wake him up, Harry. That boy’s jumped on an international flight and sat in a forest for hours waiting for you - now it’s your turn.” she chided, letting him go as she set up the couch for him to sleep on.

Harry tiptoed up to his childhood bedroom, turning the doorknob as quietly as he could. The soft light from the moon lit up the bedroom enough to see inside, the outline of Louis’ body safely tucked into Harry’s bed. Louis turned over in his sleep, eyelashes splayed across his face.

“I love you, too.”

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

Harry can’t seem to fall asleep no matter how he tries, not with Louis only a shout away. He mulls over what he’s going to say to him the entire night, eventually curling up on the sofa and falling into a dreamless sleep for a few short hours. He awakes with a start at the sound of his mum in the kitchen, and the shower going upstairs. Harry sits up in bed, rubbing his sleepy red eyes with the balled up fists.

“Mum?” he asks, voice trailing into the kitchen.

“In here, love” she responds, Harry smelling the breakfast that she’s cooking.

He pads into the room, not without venturing a glance up the stairs to where he knows Louis is. “He’s awake then?” he asks, wrapping his arms around himself.

“I left out towels and such in the bathroom, I didn’t realize he was awake until he left your door open. I suppose he’s getting ready to go.”

Harry walked into the downstairs bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. If he had to be honest, he looked utterly terrible. His eyes were red and puffy from lack of sleep, his hair long and bunched up in strange places around his head. He looked like absolute shit, and that wasn’t how he wanted to meet Louis after all this time. He hopped in the shower, quick enough to get clean and dressed before Louis came downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table, sharing a cup of tea with his mum when Louis came down.

He didn’t come into the kitchen, but brought his bag to the front door and placed it there. “Anne?” Louis called out, not realizing where the pair of them were.

Anne ventured a glance to Harry before stepping out of the kitchen and moving toward the front door. “Leaving already, Louis?” she asked, her voice soft as her lips turned downward. “Can’t I convince you to stay for a bit of breakfast?”

Louis shook his head. “No, no, you’ve already done so much already. I promised my mum I would be by this afternoon. I need to run to the shops before that - I missed Lottie and Fizzy’s birthday last month, so we’re having a surprise party today.”

“Oh that’s today! Jay let me know the other day and it must have slipped my brain!” Anne smiled, adjusting Louis’ coat on his small shoulders.

“You talked to my mum?” he asked.

“Of course, love. Our boys were all celebrity dating and the like, you didn’t think we would just let our sons date anyone - now would you?”

Louis smiled and shrugged. “That’s very much like my mum to do that.” he let out a sigh, his smile fading as glanced up at Anne. “Well I hope you can still make it. I know my mum would love to have you.”

“Of course, round four, right?” she asked, hand on Louis’ back as they walked toward the door. He confirmed the time and she paused for a moment, debating telling him about Harry or not. “Your mum said I could bring Robin, but he won’t be able to make it - is it ok if I bring someone else?” she asked, bright eyes shining and friendly.

“The more the merrier, I’m sure it’ll be a zoo.”

The door barely shut behind Louis before Harry was in the front room, wide eyes studying his mother. “Mum...what...what are you thinking?” he sputtered, frustrated at her for not telling Louis that he was there.

“Don’t worry, love. I told Jay you were coming yesterday. You better get your act together if you want to get there before Louis.”

\---

Harry didn’t bring much to wear with him, considering the circumstances. He had thrown a bunch of clothes into a bag, hoping to have enough to make some sort of outfit for however long he would be home. He pulled on his [black and white striped pants and a black blouse](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/12/12/23FCB07600000578-2871175-image-a-27_1418372237560.jpg), buttoning it only about halfway up before fixing his hair and leaving the bathroom.

Anne was waiting for him by the car, keys in hand as she surveyed her son. “Showing a bit of skin, eh love?” she asked, a slow smile creeping in on her face. “I know you’re trying to get Louis back, but we are going to a birthday party after all.” she arched a brow as Harry’s face reddened.

“It’s all I had, mum. Can’t do much about it now.” he opened the passenger side door, deciding to take Anne’s car to avoid any questions about the Range Rover that Louis was all too familiar with.

Anne appeared to know the way over to Doncaster just fine, Harry noticed, wondering just how close the pair had gotten over the past year. She turned a corner and Louis’ house came into view, Lottie waiting outside for them.

Harry barely had a chance to get out of the car before he was being scolded. “Couldn’t follow a simply fucking direction on his book - his book he dedicated to YOU, by the way.” she shook her head, hands on her hips as she stood outside of the car.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry I’m a terrible person.” he looked toward the ground, waiting for his mum to come around.

“I’m only joking. You’re a proper twat, but at least you’re here. Are you both trying to out romance each other or something?” Lottie asked, opening the front door and letting the pair inside. Anne greeted Lottie before pushing Harry out into the backyard.

“Mum, what…?” he began, but Anne shushed him.

“Harry Edward Styles, listen to me a minute. I love you, and I dearly love Louis. He’s been a right mess since everything ended with the two of you. Now I’m not sure what did or didn’t happen, but I do know how much he loves you, H. You too deserve one another.” she went on, telling Harry how this was going to work. She headed back inside and left Harry alone with his thoughts.

\---

Louis came home about thirty minutes after Harry had gotten there, hands full of wrapped presents for Lottie and Fizz. The pair of them didn’t bother waiting for cake or much at all before the gifts were ripped open and paraded around for everyone to see. The sun was starting to set and it was just before dinner that Louis excused himself to make a phone call outside. Anne was about to stop him, but Jay told him to go ahead.

“Take your time, love.” his mom offered.

Louis furrowed his brow, looking at the pair of them strangely before pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Just a phone call mum.” he looked down at the phone, scrolling through his contacts before ringing Liam. After a few sounds he picked up.

“Sup mate, how was last niiiiight?” Liam drawled out.

Louis shrugged as he stepped out the back door, pulling it closed behind him. “Complete shite really, but I did have a nice talk with Anne, which was lovely.”

“What do you mean, shite?” Liam questioned. “Didn’t you make up with Haz and everything?” he asked.

Louis barely said that he hadn’t before Liam went off, cursing and telling Louis how he would have to call him back in a minute. Louis looked down at his phone, wondering what had gotten into Liam so suddenly. He knew he was mad about Harry not showing up, but Louis didn’t really have a right to be - he was clearly misreading signals. Azure eyes looked up to the stars that were just popping up in the sky when Louis heard a soft tinkling sound of keys. He recognized the sound immediately.

Why was he hearing Harry’s ringtone?

Louis turned around and saw then what he had been missing for the past six months. “Harry?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Harry stood up from the chair he had been sitting in, all long hair and lengthy limbs. He took a few strides toward Louis, the toe of his boot getting caught in between two planks of wood on the porch. Before Harry knew it, he had literally tripped into Louis’ arms. “Oops!” he muttered quietly, wanting nothing more than to stay in those arms that had caught him. He slowly pulled away, the pair now merely staring at one another.

“Hi” Louis broke the silence, sticking his hands in his pockets. He was dressed much differently than Harry, his [black on black ensemble](http://i3.irishmirror.ie/incoming/article5513146.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/Louis-Tomlinson.jpg) one of his favorites to wear. “You’re late.” Louis offered.

Harry felt like he was going to throw up.

He was going to vomit all over Louis out of nerves, out of sheer terror. “I’m sorry” he finally managed to say, green eyes meeting blue for the first time in what felt like forever.

“For what?” Louis asked, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

“Basically everything.” he let out a sigh.

Louis laughed a twinkle of genuine laughter for what felt like the first time in a million years. “That’s stupid, love” The pet name slipped out, but he let it hang there in the air between them like a question that he desperately needed answered.

“I talked to management, they told me everything.” Harry paused, taking a step toward Louis. “Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt?”

Louis ruffled a hand through his hair as he looked over at Harry. “It’s not that simple.” he paused for a moment. “I had to find the right time - I wanted there to be a perfect time, especially if you didn’t feel the same way.” Louis took a breath, not giving Harry a chance to step in. “I was going to tell you the night - the night of the Grammy’s - when we got back to the hotel room. I got caught up in everything, and by morning….well I had to go and didn’t want us to be rushed.” Louis offered, his words moving a mile a minute as Harry tried to listen carefully. “I could ask you the same question.” Louis added, his voice soft, but words full of emotion.

“I didn’t think….I thought you would look at me, and who would want to be with me? I have no experience, I’m messed up from the one relationship I had...who would want to love this?” Harry asked, a heat rising to his face, even in the cool night.

“I did...I do.”

Harry closed the space between himself and Louis, hands cupping Louis’ face gently as he stared into his eyes. “I do too.” he paused, eyes searching Louis’ as they stood there together, the dark of the night rising around them.

“Can I kiss you?” Harry asked, his voice trailing off at the end as nerves got the best of him.

“Only if you make it good, Casanova.” Louis smiled as Harry’s lips descended on his, all of their unanswered questions could wait for another time. The important thing was that they were together and knew how the other felt. Harry’s lips moved against Louis’ softly, hands moving away from his face and moving down his back.

Harry could feel Louis’ hands make their way into his hair, Louis giving a small moan of approval as Harry’s moved expertly against his.

“GET A ROOM!” Lottie shouted, causing Louis and Harry to separate, looking for the source of the voice. They found her, and the rest of the family, crowded around the back door as they all peeked through the window. Anne and Jay had their arms around one another, already thick as thieves.

Louis smiled and rested his forehead against Harry’s, a small chuckle coming from behind his lips.

“I love you.”

\---

The next few months flew by, with Harry and Louis back together and happier than they ever were before. They were apart for a while, both completing separate tours than the other - Louis being in the UK, while Harry was traveling Europe with White Eskimo. It was hard getting used to the long distance of their relationship, but they both made it work. Harry had invited Louis to come to the concert they were putting on at the O2 that spring, White Eskimo now being too large to play smaller venues.

Louis sat backstage and listened to the band through ear plugs, the music being too loud directly behind the speakers. He had come out to the show - the last of the tour in London - before Harry would be leaving again for the states.

On stage, Harry was talking to the crowd and laughing about a joke Niall made. Someone shouted out about Larry Stylinson and Harry smiled.

“He’s here tonight, you know? Louis is!” He told the crowd, Louis vaguely hearing his name mentioned. He takes out the earplugs and listens carefully, a slow smile spreading across his face.

The crowd started chanting something inaudible at first, Harry starting to strum on his guitar, stopping for a moment to ask someone to clarify. “What is that? You want what?” he asked, holding a cupped hand to his ear, clearly hearing them - but pretending not to.

“We want Louis!” A fan close to the stage called out, Harry nodding as he strummed out a few chords to one of the songs to the next album they were working on.

“You want Louis?” he asked the crowd, the screams roaring up. “Let’s ask him.”

The crowd started chanting Louis’ name, a blush rising to his cheeks as the thousands of fans watching asked to see him.

“Oh Loooouis, come out, come out, wherever you are!” Harry said into the mike, Louis rising from his seat and taking a look to the front of the catwalk where Harry was standing. He beckoned him over, telling Louis to just come out on stage.

Right when he did, the crowd erupted into cheers, and the smile on Harry’s face was as bright as the sun. “Ladies and gentleman, the mystery man himself - in the flesh - Louis Tomlinson!” he announced to the fans, Louis walking out with a goofy smile on his face.

“Eyyyy Lou!” Niall shouted, giving him a high five when he passed him. “Wanna hear a new song, everyone?” he asked, the crowd calming down, with shouts of “yes!” from the audience.

“Ok ok, c’mere Lou.” Harry waves over Louis, who seems shell shocked by the size of the crowd he’s met with.

Louis walks up and gives a small wave to the girls in the front row and...wait, those are his sisters. He studies them for a moment before turning back to Harry, a questioning look on his face. “Had to invite them too, eh?” Harry whispers to Louis, shuffling him still a bit forward.

“Alright new song then, yeah?” Harry asks the crowd, starting to strum on his guitar. He tells Louis to stay at the front of the catwalk before checking in with Niall and Zayn to make sure they know what song they’re playing. There’s a buzz in the crowd, Louis notices, and it’s absolutely electric to be on stage.

 _“If I could fly”_ Harry starts, all of Louis thoughts moving to the side, letting Harry’s voice flow through him.

_“I'd be coming right back home to you_

_I think I might give up everything, just ask me to..._

 

_Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down_

_Right now I'm completely defenseless”_

 

Harry makes his way up to Louis while he sings, taking off his guitar and sticking only to the vocals as he slings his arm around Louis’ shoulders.

 

_“For your eyes only, I show you my heart_

_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_

_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_

_Now you know me, for your eyes only_

_For your eyes only...”_

He looks out in the crowd and directs Louis to do the same, a slow smile forming on Harry’s face. Louis looks out into the back, past his sisters. His eyes adjust to the lighting and he’s quite confused before he sees it. The fans have spelled out four simple words, using colored paper to ask Louis a question. It’s only then that he notices that Niall has taken over the vocal’s, and Harry seems to have disappeared.

Harry clears his throat. “Down here, love.” he whispers, only for Louis to hear.

His eyes follow the words and his gaze lands on Harry who’s holding open a black velvet box, while saying the four words that the fans have already asked. “Will you marry me?” The words are soft, for Louis’ ears alone.

“Yes” Louis stutters, excitement pulsing through his veins. “Yes, of course, yes.”

A broad grin appears on Harry’s face as he slips the ring on Louis’ finger. He rushes to his feet and take’s Louis into his arms, [holding him tightly](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CSyTV9QUkAAJNq2.jpg) as Niall finishes the song, unheard over the cheers from the crowd.

  
“I love you.”


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Thank you all so much for your kind comments and encouragement :)

The days and weeks that followed Harry and Louis’ engagement seemed to speed by, full of friends, family, and of course the media asking about every detail of what would become one of the most important days in their lives. After the O2 concert, the news spread like wildfire, media outlets reporting on the story before the concert even ended. Harry and Louis came back to check their phones and the explosion was unreal. Harry had already told his family and Jay about his plans to propose - who of course would be telling all of the girls before the news broke.

Harry couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like on their actual wedding day, but the pair had decided that they would have a long engagement - allowing Harry to finish up touring, and Louis to do the same for his writing and scheduled speaking engagements.

Liam was the first to get to work on the planning, pouring over magazines and blog posts in order to discover the most Larry wedding ideas that he could find. The guys didn’t want anything too fancy, but also wanted it to be special and intimate. Liam and Louis worked closely together while Harry was off with White Eskimo, planning most of the details, while only asking Harry when it was absolutely necessary.

Niall and Zayn could tell that Harry was reaching the end of his rope with the tour, interviews, and wedding planning. He was always tired and stressed out, but when Louis would call him for their nightly chat - regardless of what timezone they were in - it always brought the biggest smile to Harry’s face. They tried to keep things light on the tour, but it wasn’t anything like being home with the ones you loved.

\----

Nearly two years after the engagement of a lifetime, Harry found himself with his mum in Holmes Chapel getting ready for his wedding. It was a perfectly sunny day in June, and Harry adjusted his shirt just so, before his mum walked into the bedroom.

“You look wonderful, Harry” she told him, bringing him into her arms for a tight squeeze.

Harry ran a hand through his hair, now falling past his shoulders, curls licking the sides of his face. “Thanks, mum. You sure I look ok?” he asked, quickly glancing back to the mirror.

“Harry you could show up in a paper bag and Louis would be ecstatic.” she shook her head, looping their arms together as she led her son from the room. “I’m going to go to the venue, the boys are downstairs waiting to take you when you’re ready.”

The pair reached the bottom of the stairs, Harry stopping for a moment to kiss his mother on the cheek. “You sure I can’t know where we’re going?” he asked, brows furrowed. Louis had done all the planning and this was one aspect that he hadn’t shared with Harry.

Anne smiled and a small laugh came from her lips. “Now love, you know I can’t do that to my future son-in-law. He’s worked really hard keeping this part a surprise. I’ll see you soon.” she planted a kiss on his forehead before waving goodbye to the guys and heading out the door.

Ed, Niall, and Zayn were in charged of getting Harry to the place where he would finally be able to call Louis his husband - the smiles growing on their faces as they observed their friend in his frantic nervousness.

“Aaaaarry you’ll be great, mate!” Niall wrapped an arm around Harry’s neck, leading him outside to meet Ed, who was standing in front of a black town car with a blindfold.

“What the hell is that for?” Harry asked, eyes flitting between his two friends.

“Louis’ orders mate, can’t know where you’re going.” Ed answered with a shrug, a quick grin on his face.

\---

“Please tell me you have the rings, please.” Louis begged, searching through the bags in his car, filled with different wedding paraphernalia.

“Relax, Lou...they’re in my pocket for the seventeenth time.” Liam told him, fishing the two silver bands from his suit pocket and showing them to Louis.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Ok, ok...is everyone here?” Louis paced back and forth, nearly wearing a path in the concrete under his shoes.

Liam stopped Louis, grabbing him by the shoulders. “It’s going to be great, stop worrying about everything and start thinking about how this is the best day of your life and you get to marry your best friend.”

“Using my words against me now, eh?” Louis asked, knowing that was the exact sentence he had told Liam only a few months ago when he and Zayn had tied the knot in a secret ceremony. The media only found out after seeing the two of them in Italy on their honeymoon. It was perfect.

The smile Liam had been wearing grew on his face, as he pulled Louis in for a tight squeeze. “C’mon let’s get you up there.”

\---

Harry was nearly dying with anticipation by the time the car came to a final stop, Niall moving around to open the door for Harry to get out.

“Can I take this off now?” Harry’s hands moved up to the blindfold, but were slapped away by Ed.

“Nah mate, Lou would kill us if we got you all the way here and ruined the fucking surprise!” He took Harry by the arm and helped him walk forward, Harry cautiously taking every step.

They walked for a few minutes, Harry’s feet feeling unsteady on the ground, his ankle boots moving carefully as he took each step. It wasn’t until he could feel the sun on his face that he started to hear murmurs and a small sound of music playing. The blush rose to his cheeks at being so unaware of what was happening. He felt Ed’s hands on his shoulders, turning to face him before the blindfold was taken off.

Harry didn’t even need to look around to know where he was. It was a location he had been so many times before Louis, and a few times while with him. The place where he thought his relationship may have started, and the place where he was certain it had ended. He let out a sigh and shook his head, all the while staring at Ed, as he was instructed.

“Ok, so don’t turn around now, but Louis looks fantastic.” Ed grinned before slapping Harry on the shoulder. He instructed him to stay there until his mum came to get him.

Anne appeared only a few moments later, and it was obvious she had already been crying. Before he had the chance to say anything, Anne took Harry into a tight hug, releasing him with a small squeeze.

“Ready, love?”  she asked.

If Harry thought he was ready, he was wrong. When Anne turned him around and looped her arm through his, the sight he saw was something from a dream.

There was Louis, standing at the end of the aisle looking immaculate. His hair was styled into a perfect quiff and a blush pink rose was pinned to the lapel of his blue suit. Harry was stunned into silence, and it wasn’t until his mother whispered in his ear, that he was brought back to reality.

“Harry, don’t make Louis wait any longer.”

\---

Louis eyes had been glued on Harry since he walked up with a blindfold covering his eyes. He looked just as dashing as ever, and Louis couldn’t have wished for a more perfect day. The flowers on the trees surrounding the makeshift altar were in full bloom, the sun was shining, all of their families were there, and Louis was finally with Harry.

Harry’s eyes stayed glued on Louis, his steps quickening as he got closer to the altar. His mum left him with a kiss on the cheek, and Harry took the steps two at a time to reach his fiancee.

“Took you long enough.” Louis muttered, taking Harry’s hands in his as the ceremony started.

“Wonder who I got that from.” Harry smiled a toothy grin that didn’t leave his face.

\---

[Harry and Louis ](https://41.media.tumblr.com/cf18a3f3cf4faec79e5564b227c3f1f0/tumblr_inline_nsms7ttpF41tqyq6i_540.jpg)exchanged their vows, each deciding to write their own - as words were something that came naturally to the pair. They held hands with one another, Zayn instructing Harry to go first.

Harry ran his hand through his hair, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I'm the one who gets to marry you. I love you Louis, forever and always.”

Harry slipped the ring on Louis left hand, tears welling up in both of their eyes before Louis began to speak.

“I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you. I promise to love you forever. The greatest thing that ever happened to me was falling into your arms.”

With shaking hands, Louis put the band around Harry’s finger, sliding it into place as if it had found a home. They waited for a moment, blue eyes glued to green, before being told they were allowed to kiss.

Harry took the reins this time, hands on either side of Louis’ face. The space between them was closed, Louis’ hands wrapping around Harry’s form as their kiss deepened, resulting in a “whoop” from Niall who was next to Harry. They broke off the kiss, hands sliding into place at their sides as they walked down the aisle as a newly married couple.

“I can’t wait to love you forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. If you want to comment, I always reply - or go to my tumblr and we can have a chat! Love you!!

**Author's Note:**

> ...to be continued


End file.
